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Rachel Garlinghouse

Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent's Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children Paperback – March 5, 2013

by Rachel Garlinghouse (Author)

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Are you prepared to adopt and parent transracially? Transracial adoption can be a daunting and exhilarating journey. At times you feel incredibly isolated and lost. However, with this conversational and practical guide in hand, you will be able to adopt with confidence and parent with education, empathy, and enthusiasm. Whether you are new to adoption, a seasoned adoptive parent, or you are an adoptee, birth parent, or adoption professional, COME RAIN OR COME SHINE will enhance your understanding and appreciation for transracial adoption. The book contains extensive resource lists, discussion/reflection questions for adoptive parents, and advice and research from experts in the adoption field. Recommended by MSNBC's Melissa Harris-Perry: "We had an amazing guest on the MHP show about a year ago who is white and raising black adopted children, Rachel Garlinghouse. I love her book Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent's Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children." (from Jezebel, Melissa Harris-Perry Answers Your Questions, 4/6/14)

Print length

244 pages
Language

English
Publication date

March 5, 2013
Dimensions

6 x 0.55 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

1478310863
ISBN-13

978-1478310860
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In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories

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About the Author

Rachel Garlinghouse is mothering four children whom she was chosen to parent through domestic, infant, open, transracial adoption. Her experiences have been shared in hundreds of articles and in the media, including MSNBC, NPR, CBS, and CNN. She can be reached at whitesugarbrownsugar.com

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (March 5, 2013)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 244 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1478310863
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1478310860
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.7 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.55 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,120,315 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,004 in Adoption (Books)

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39 ratings

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Rachel Garlinghouse

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Rachel Garlinghouse has authored several books and over 1000 articles. She's appeared on MSNBC, NPR, CNN, CBS, and more, talking about the intersection of adoption and race. Rachel, her husband, and their four children live in the St. Louis area.

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5 star		53%
4 star		17%
3 star		9%
2 star		9%
1 star		13%

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Justin Bleuer

it was ok, but wouldn't read it again

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 30, 2016

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Good read for people interested in adoption. I liked the specific chapters on the different hair types and how to take care of them. Overall, the book was a little whiny, meaning the author seems get upset really easily over people's comments about her family/children. That was annoying but still the book was helpful. That being said, I read it because it was required reading, and then passed it on to someone else. Not something that I would read again. -Annie

3 people found this helpful

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Rachel M.

Informative..

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 18, 2013

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I learned a few things from this book, but I have to admit I was a little annoyed by her labeling all of the "ism"s. We're in the adoption process right now and she did say a couple of things in her book that I think will be useful to keep in mind. Particularly about birth parents and adoption language.

I grew up with a mom who was a different color from me and I was always(and still am) so proud to tell people she's my mom. It never gets old for me when people say, "Wait, SHE is your mom?!". I guess it could be a bad thing for some people. But I'm hoping that our adopted kiddo will feel the way I did growing up about my own mom.

21 people found this helpful

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Aimee finnigan

It has a lot of the writers personal opinion rather ...

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 18, 2018

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It has a lot of the writers personal opinion rather than what I was looking for. The stressing that it is improper or rude to state certain words was a bit off key for my taste.
Raising 7 African American children myself, I do not mind telling people that Color does not matter as far as parenting. I have assisted in raising several different races and religions with no issue. It comes down to treating people as individuals- not by color in my personal opinion.

6 people found this helpful

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Maya Iman

It included some culturally insensitive quotes like "Adoptive parents question whether it's OK to change the ...

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 4, 2017

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This book was well intentioned, but it was clear that it was written by someone who early in her transracial adoption journey. It included some culturally insensitive quotes like "Adoptive parents question whether it's OK to change the child's name. What if you don't like it, or it's hard to pronounce or spell?" People not taking the time to treat "black names" with consideration as "white names" is actually a common microaggression and can cause a lot of hurt for black children. Although the rest of the section is pretty innocuous, it still comes across as a little naive. This is especially true since the author doesn't seem to be aware of the misstep. I think that this is a good introduction to having a transracial adoption, but should not be final word.

9 people found this helpful

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MomTo2

Young mom - young kids.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 23, 2014

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Although there was some useful information present here, it is hard to take the book too seriously when the author has such young children. At the time of the writing the oldest was four. Transracial adoption is a life long journey and one that brings numerous experiences as time passes. To write a book when so much is still to transpire is lofty and ill-intentioned.

Others who have penned books on the same subject have either years of transracial parenting under their belts or years of concentrated serious study and/or practice, or in the best cases they have both.

It seems this book was written for the sake of writing a book. I would recommend a number of other more expertly researched and written books on the subject before this one such as, I'm Chocolate You're Vanilla, Inside Transracial Adoption, or In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Story.

65 people found this helpful

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Nod

she raises good questions to consider before deciding to enter into a ...

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 26, 2015

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This book contains A LOT of typos.

If you can look past those, you'll learn that the author is still fairly new to the adoption world, with very young daughters.

Also note, this book is more for a potential adoptive parent who is unable to have children biologically than it is for a person who chooses adoption for other reasons.

One of the main topics in the book involved responding to questions or statements made about the adoption. I believe people are often clumsy about asking questions when they are curious about children and adoption, but that it's important to give them the benefit of the doubt. The author instead seems defensive and suspicious of acquaintances.

That said, she raises good questions to consider before deciding to enter into a transracial adoption, and lists some great resources for delving further into the topics, but the coverage of each topic is very shallow. And you won't get much advice for handling adoption-specific issues that are sure to arise at any stage of the child's life. I would perhaps have lowered my expectations if the book were not a self-proclaimed "guide to parenting" the adopted black child.

25 people found this helpful

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S. Elton

... view of transracial adoption and adoption in general is easy to follow and this text has several references to ...

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 7, 2016

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Rachel's view of transracial adoption and adoption in general is easy to follow and this text has several references to classic adoption books for additional insight. The end of each chapter contains action items, discussion points to consider and an abundance of resources for adult learning and child experience books and other media.

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JB

Great read for both foster and adoptive parents

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 24, 2014

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As a foster parent who has accepted children of varying ages and races, I sincerely wish I had found this book sooner. The resources provided at the end of each chapter are invaluable. While Ms. Garlinhouse is a parent of young children, it is obvious she has done her research. This book is informative and easy to read, and I would recommend it to anyone who is considering fostering or transracially adopting.

2 people found this helpful

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SmileyKatie

Best adoption book - love it!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on September 10, 2017

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By far my favourite adoption book! I have read this so many times it is dog-eared and tatty. Great for hoards of information, references and further reading, practical advice and plenty of the author's own experiences which make this an easy to read, addictive book which packs the weight of more formal evidence-based tombs. Love it! Would highly recommend this to anyone considering adoption, be it transracial or not as many of the lessons are of use to all adoptive parents and children.

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