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on May 23, 2014
This is a well-written memoir by a young woman who grew up with hoarding parents. Their problem was as severe as the worst of the people featured on the hoarding shows on TV. The parents clearly loved their daughter and did their best by her. She clearly loves her parents. Yet their hoarding was so extreme that she grew up in utter squalor. The author did a good job of bringing to light how having to hide the condition of your home makes life even more difficult. For example, when the boiler on their house broke, her parents couldn't call anyone to fix it because they couldn't let anyone inside their house. Her mother knew things were so bad that their daughter would taken away if anyone knew. So with no hot water, they could no longer bathe in the house. The joined a gym and showered there once a week. When their scary looking (but really harmless) dog got loose and scared the neighbors, the neighbors threatened to report the dog to animal control. Rather than waiting for animal control to come and see what a gentle dog she really was, the mother immediately took the dog to animal control and surrendered her. She couldn't risk an animal control officer seeing how they lived.
What amazed me about this story was how loving the parents were - aside from being unable to deal with this horrendous problem. Despite the horrible conditions, their daughter did well in school, worked hard and put herself through a good college, went on to have a good career and wonderful friends. The author obviously is very frustrated by her parents, but at the same time loves them and does her best to care for them. Her childhood did not leave her unscarred, though, it is revealed in the book.
The author does not attempt to delve into the research regarding the causes of hoarding or how to deal with a hoarding loved one. She stuck to telling her story, simply and with heart. She lightly touches on the research at the very end, but that's about it. She does mention a very good book that goes into all the research. "Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things". I recommend it if you are interested in the research.
What amazed me about this story was how loving the parents were - aside from being unable to deal with this horrendous problem. Despite the horrible conditions, their daughter did well in school, worked hard and put herself through a good college, went on to have a good career and wonderful friends. The author obviously is very frustrated by her parents, but at the same time loves them and does her best to care for them. Her childhood did not leave her unscarred, though, it is revealed in the book.
The author does not attempt to delve into the research regarding the causes of hoarding or how to deal with a hoarding loved one. She stuck to telling her story, simply and with heart. She lightly touches on the research at the very end, but that's about it. She does mention a very good book that goes into all the research. "Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things". I recommend it if you are interested in the research.
on June 1, 2014
I really like this book. We all think we know hoarders who can use some help. But this story focus on a hoarder and his family and the serious problems they face because he cannot beat his addiction (hoarding IS an addiction of sorts as the victim literally cannot make himself throw ANYTHING away).
The viewpoint is from the daughter who talks about what it was like growing up that way, from being too embarrassed to bring friends home, to a fear that child protective services will find out and step in.
It's sad at time, but I really enjoyed it and I think others will as well.
The viewpoint is from the daughter who talks about what it was like growing up that way, from being too embarrassed to bring friends home, to a fear that child protective services will find out and step in.
It's sad at time, but I really enjoyed it and I think others will as well.
on June 2, 2017
Raw truth on how a child and parent dance. Sometimes you need to read something different. I have great admiration for the writer as she shared personal feelings about her love hate relationship with her compulsive parent horders. Bravo for you Kim. Thanks for sharing your heart!
on June 3, 2017
Really good story for those affedted by hoarding. It reads like a biography- author keeps readers interested but it's not very well written.
I enjoyed this read though.
I enjoyed this read though.
on January 21, 2017
This is an amazing memoir. I feel high anxiety after reading this book, for the number of times she cleaned up after her folks, and for the author's nightmares. There are a few spots where youthful experiences don't get revealed until late in the book. This is a fascinating read.
on May 18, 2017
I loved the narrative of this young girl, who goes through life battling the horrors of a hoarding parent, and how she copes. Through it all, she never stops loving her parents, even when she has nightmares every night about her childhood. Very brave and insightful book.
on February 12, 2015
I thought this was a great read and memoir, showing the deceptions and illusions about oneself one tries to maintain throughout one's life. I found myself 'yelling' at the narrator toward the end, Please don't do that, don't go back to enable them. But she goes anyway, showing how complicated these issues are in real life--these issues like hoarding that have real physical abuse to outsiders like me even though the abusers, the parents here, never lift a finger. I thought it really gave great insight into how enablers think, draw others in to their enabling of people, and up to and even after the end how they can never shake free completely about the illusions they maintain about themselves, not wanting to lose those they love. The incredible physically abusive environment the author grew up in, incredibly damaging to the psyche and body, probably won't be viewed that way by others or her, though it seemed to me more psychically abusive than spanking a child. It made me feel like she spent her teenage years literally living in a sewer. We can only hope she continues on her path toward recovery at the same time showing that her struggle is already an inspiration. Great writing and pace, and should be a mandatory read for high school students and college students as it has the same tone as most fiction stories about growing up and coming of age.
on March 27, 2017
What a genuinely witty, beautifully written treat. Insights of a damaged psyche were on their mark. Yet there is sufficient humor and intellect to prevent it from being a dreary & tedious journey. Coming Clean kept me coming back and looking forward to snuggling down for another chapter each night.
Those who suffer from the remnants of childhood shame will feel as tho Miller is a kindred Soul.
Great read. I recommend it.
Those who suffer from the remnants of childhood shame will feel as tho Miller is a kindred Soul.
Great read. I recommend it.
on April 16, 2014
As a watcher of shows that detail hoarders and their behaviors, I was fascinated by this book. It shows the perspective of a child being raised in that environment and how deeply they are affected by their upbringing. This book changed the way I view these shows... my heart aches for the families as well as the hoarder. I give Kimberly a huge amount of credit for her ability to move beyond this and yet remain so sympathetic to her parents and their issues. The book was terribly sad and Kimberly's courage and strength is incredibly inspiring.
What an amazing young woman she is. For those (like me) who looked forward to the train wreck and the disgusting messes on hoarding shows, read this. It will change the way you see these people and the way you judge their lives.
What an amazing young woman she is. For those (like me) who looked forward to the train wreck and the disgusting messes on hoarding shows, read this. It will change the way you see these people and the way you judge their lives.
