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343 of 387 people found the following review helpful
on May 28, 2013
Had these out in the spread at a wine tasting we did over the winter along with some mild cheddars and assorted vegetables. The wafers added a stale, salty taste to our palette that really ruined the experience. We thought that we had thrown them out with the rest of the leftovers, but they mysteriously reappeared on our kitchen counter 3 days later and they were glowing softly. That has to be radiation right? Were these manufactured on 3 mile island?
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455 of 522 people found the following review helpful
on January 15, 2010
When I bought these communion wafers, I expected the body of Christ to be good for me. However, upon delivery, I noticed that there was no nutritional information on the box. How good is Christ for me, really?
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715 of 832 people found the following review helpful
These little beauties are perfect for the dieter. One can only eat so many carrot and celery sticks before one screams. How better to spruce up the blandness than the crunchy goodness of Jesus? Jesus is good with fat-free dips, as the base for cucumber sandwiches (especially with lemon salt) and out of this world on salads! I mean, do you have any idea how many calories croutons have? But not Jesus. Oh, no. He's fat and virtually calorie free.

We are taught to bring all our problems to the feet of Our Loving God, Jesus, and many of us have prayed for years in vain for help loosing the inner tire or the cottage cheese legs. And you know, He was answering us all along! Order several boxes of Jesus, and He'll help you out with that unsightly double chin, just as you prayed!
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243 of 280 people found the following review helpful
on January 14, 2010
Why is the price of a used box the same as a new box? Or is it one of those loaves-and-fishes deals?
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185 of 219 people found the following review helpful
on April 18, 2013
Not sure if I was tasting Jesus or some false diety.. Great snacks. My dog loves em too. Almost gave my grandma a heart attack.. she said it was blasphemous
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196 of 235 people found the following review helpful
on February 28, 2011
My friend Quinn and I decided to buy some of these and also some glue sticks as we wanted to put Jesus back together again. But then we thought about how many of these wafers have been sold and consumed and for how many years times how many Catholic churches in the world and were freaked out as to how large Jesus actually must be. Can you imagine that if, for example; these wafers have been produced and consumed for a few hundred years and there are thousands of Catholic churches in the world times daily consumption and JC must be huge... Far larger than poor Quinn and I could procure and glue together so we decided to simply spread some peanut butter on the ones we bought and ponder another way to do this.... Any suggestions?
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416 of 505 people found the following review helpful
on January 15, 2010
I am concerned to think that uninformed customers may be buying generic communion wafers like this over the internet. Not only is there the risk that these products may contain impurities or traces of false gods which will cause serious and permanent damage to your soul, there is also the undoubted fact that buying generic wafers deprives legitimate churches of income which they can use to research new and more effective means of salvation. I must also emphasise that communion wafers should never be supplied ready consecrated and do not constitute Jesus until processed by a trained professional wearing the appropriate liturgical vestments and using the approved lubricants. Steer well clear.
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188 of 231 people found the following review helpful
I use the Astroglide to grease the joints in my sling shot and the sling shot to fire Jesus pieces at unsuspecting sinners. My belief is if a sinner or non-catholic is touched by the body of Christ they will automatically reform. I am a Catholic Superhero working everyday to better our world and ensure that more people go to heaven. All this altar boy stuff is just shameful and I am coming for you!!!!
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30 of 34 people found the following review helpful
on October 9, 2013
If you don't fancy buying these mediocre body-of-Christ bites you can prepare them easily at home. While shopping for the necessary ingredients I found 'the body of Christ' wasn't available in my local supermarket. Luckily I knew this Mexican dude called Jesus who lived down the road from me. It turns out any old Jesus will do.
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35 of 42 people found the following review helpful
on October 9, 2013
Such a strange product.

Now I know that this stuff is supposed to be the literal body of Jesus and I was a tad bit skeptical before buying this product and testing it myself.

The first thing I noticed about the product was that it melted when it was in my mouth but stayed solid while in my hands. Then there's the taste. Sure, it's a bit bland but it tasted fleshy and a bit salty. It got a little slimy after a couple of seconds. Like it was very pleased with my tongue caressing its round edges.

Then it hit me like a rock. I had the overwhelming desire to start building furniture! Out of different types of wood! I swear to God! I built a table, and some chairs (even one with a hole in it like they used back in the early days of Catholicism *wink wink*). Then out of nowhere my skin began to bleed in various locations, holes appeared in my hands and feet, puncture wounds in my scalp, and a wound in my abdomen! The strange thing about my blood was it had the taste and texture of a chardonnay wine!

Then I passed out and woke up 3 days later feeling as light as a bird with a white sheet draped around my body.

I think these are some sort of newfangled body cleansing tablets.

10/10 will buy again
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