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Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight Paperback – May 13, 2014

by M.E. Thomas (Author)

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The memoir of a high-functioning, law-abiding (well, mostly) sociopath and a roadmap—right from the source—for dealing with the sociopath in your life.

“[A] gripping and important book . . . revelatory . . . quite the memorable roller coaster ride.”—The New York Times Book Review

As M.E. Thomas says of her fellow sociopaths, “We are your neighbors, your coworkers, and quite possibly the people closest to you: lovers, family, friends. Our risk-seeking behavior and general fearlessness are thrilling, our glibness and charm alluring. Our often quick wit and outside-the-box thinking make us appear intelligent—even brilliant. We climb the corporate ladder faster than the rest, and appear to have limitless self-confidence. Who are we? We are highly successful, noncriminal sociopaths and we comprise 4 percent of the American population.”

Confessions of a Sociopath—part confessional memoir, part primer for the curious—takes readers on a journey into the mind of a sociopath, revealing what makes them tick while debunking myths about sociopathy and offering a road map for dealing with the sociopaths in your life. M. E. Thomas draws from her own experiences as a diagnosed sociopath; her popular blog, Sociopathworld; and scientific literature to unveil for the very first time these men and women who are “hiding in plain sight.”

Print length

336 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Crown
Publication date

May 13, 2014
Dimensions

5.15 x 0.71 x 7.95 inches
ISBN-10

0307956652
ISBN-13

978-0307956651
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Fascinating...part memoir, part psychological treatise, and entirely not to be trusted.” —Boston Globe

“The goal of Confessions is to redefine sociopathy—or at least to shake off the stigma associated with it. And Thomas accomplishes both. Through her honest portrayal of herself as a highly capable yet deeply flawed individual, she demystifies her disorder.” —Scientific American

“Fascinating stuff, and Thomas delivers...riveting...chilling...Her incisive observations about human nature can be breathtakingly pointed.” —Cleveland Plain Dealer

“An essential, unprecedented memoir...intelligent, measured...Her arguments against using the diagnosis as an indicator of evil or a pre-emptive reason to imprison are a slam-dunk. This is a critical addition to narratives of mental illness, deepened by the awareness that we're reading someone whose most intense motivation is ‘acquisition, retention, and exploitation of power’.” —Publishers Weekly, starred review

“Fascinating and compelling as well as chilling, Thomas’ memoir offers a window into the mind of a portion of the population that usually remains shrouded in mystery and fear.” —Booklist, starred review

“[Thomas] invites us into her courtroom, classroom and bedroom to witness how her behavior has stunted her work life and made her love life difficult...Much here is chilling, but there are also cracks that make you ache for her....A work of advocacy for greater awareness of sociopathy’s reach and conduct.” —Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

M. E. Thomas (a pseudonym) is the author of Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight. She is a former law professor who has written extensively on music copyright issues, a current California attorney, and the founder of a non-profit. She is also, most recently, a professional musician.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter 1

I’m a Sociopath and So Are You

If my life were a television show it would start like this: It’s a pleasantly warm summer day in a beautiful southern clime. Sunlight glints off ripples in the pool. The sliding door opens with a gentle rumble. A young woman steps out in her flip-flops and a black Speedo swimming suit. Her dark hair hits just below muscular swimmer’s shoulders. Her skin is darkly tan from lifeguarding at the local municipal pool. She is neither pretty nor ugly, of medium build and with no prominent features. She looks like an athlete; there’s a clumsy tomboyishness about the way she moves, an emotional disconnect with her body. She does not appear to have any feelings about her body, good or bad. She is used to being near-naked, the way athletes are.

Today she is giving a private swim lesson. She flings a towel on a deck chair and kicks off her sandals. There’s a casual recklessness about the way she does these things, as if letting loose wayward objects into the world with abandon. That’s when she notices the ripples on the surface of the water. She sees that there is something moving in the pool.

It is so small that she doesn’t recognize it until she’s close—a baby opossum, probably only a week old, its tiny pink paws frantically paddling, its even tinier pink nose struggling above the surface of the water. The poor thing must have fallen into the pool in the night. It is too little to thrust its tiny body up and over the nearest ledge. The baby’s muscles quake with exhaustion. Even its tiny sparkling eyes look tired; it is on the brink of succumbing to fatigue.

The young woman moves quickly, sliding her sandals back on, and pauses for a moment at the top of the deck. She grabs a net and heads toward the opossum. The camera cuts in as the net lowers, dipping into the surface of the water, catching the baby opossum under the belly just in front of its hind legs. With a quick, almost effortless movement, the net drags the opossum under the surface until its head is fully submerged. The animal thrashes, its tired body now alert to a new threat. It struggles loudly, whimpering and squealing, until it finally manages to free its hindquarters from the lip of the net. But it’s barely able to gasp a breath before the net comes down again. The angle of the net is awkward though, and the animal is able to writhe out of its trap.

The young woman sighs, and the net is lifted. The baby opossum feels relief wash over it for a fraction of a second, only to resume its desperate paddling against the water. The young woman drops the net on the ground, grabs her towel, and heads back inside. Moments later she is on the phone with her private student—today’s lesson is canceled; there is something wrong with the pool. She grabs her keys, flings her front door open, and skips down the stairs to the muscle car that she’s been driving since her sixteenth birthday. The V-8 engine stutters for just a moment, then roars to life. She slams the transmission into reverse, just barely dodging the other cars in the driveway, then takes off, ready to make the most of 3 a newly free summer afternoon.

When she returns home at dusk she sees a dark shadow at the bottom of the pool. She grabs the same net, manages to scoop up the small bundle on the first try, and pitches it over the fence into her neighbor’s yard. She drops an extra chlorine tablet into the pool and heads inside. The camera lingers on the placid pool, no longer interrupted by frantic waves. Fade to black.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown; Reprint edition (May 13, 2014)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 336 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0307956652
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0307956651
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.15 x 0.71 x 7.95 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #128,304 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #62 in Medical Mental Illness
- #359 in Popular Psychology Personality Study
- #4,379 in Memoirs (Books)

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Lydia Colton

This author prides herself on her supposed ability to manipulate others, but most effectively manipulates herself.

Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2017

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This is a very interesting read, though it requires the reader to see through the author's own self-manipulation.

This author epitomizes the child abuse victim’s narrative. Her father was violent and abusive to her and his other children, and her mother was a self-absorbed, dysfunctional enabler, and both of them sometimes provided adequately for their children and sometimes did not. She describes in the book a few violent episodes and painful dysfunction, such as her father beating her and how he left punching marks on the doors and walls of the house, and yet says point blank that she was never abused. This author swears to the tune of so much repitition it appears she is trying to convince herself more than others of the following two things: 1) that her parents were amazing, did a wonderful job, and loved their children truly, and 2) that she herself was born defective, a sociopath, not normal. This is the stereotypical, worldwide and extremely common child abuse victim’s narrative: idolize the abusers, blame yourself. The child abuse victim will blame herself and happily create a story that she was herself to blame for the mistreatment, claiming to herself and to others that she was “born bad” or “born wrong” – all to protect her image of her parents as wonderful and loving. All children in abusive homes do this, and many carry the story throughout their adulthoods too. They must do this to enable bonding with their abusers at their young age, and as a result of needing to bond with their abusers, they develop a certain set of skills – particularly, they develop a lack of empathy, an inability to connect with others, and manipulation, having to effectively shut down parts of their humanity to tolerate the abuse and to form trauma bonds to their attackers despite it.

Yet this author is clearly entirely unaware of how she has herself mentally bought the age-old and tired child abuse story. She is oblivious to how common and normal her self-story is; indeed, I fully believe that she fully believes her own story – a story built throughout her life and strengthened, first to protect her image of her parents in her child’s mind, and then to avoid dealing with her painful past in her adult mind.

Critical reviewers here have rightfully doubted that this adult victim of child mistreatment is truly a sociopath, hypothesizing instead that she is narcissistic. This is also what I perceived as well. Narcissistic Personality Disordered (NPD) people are hungry for attention, low in empathy, manipulative and malicious, and enjoy feelings of immense superiority to others. Naturally, with so many people being diagnosed with NPD (a disorder known to often result from child abuse/neglect as a coping mechanism) a diagnosis or a self-concept of NPD no longer offers one the special attention or feelings of superiority any longer. So it makes sense that this woman has labeled herself a sociopath – and then sought out a professional with the explicit goal to be diagnosed as a sociopath after having spent years studying up on the disorder herself first – to provide herself with a stronger self-story that would reinforce the child abuse victim’s narrative of “I was born defective, like this, and my parents are loving and wonderful to have so carefully raised little defective me.”

Indeed, this story insulates her from having to face the harsher reality that is much more likely and far less rare than being born a sociopath: that her family’s abuse, violence, and dysfunction directly caused her to develop narcissistic traits in order to first cope with the abuse, and then to avoid dealing with the painful aftermath. Even brain scans have shown that child abuse produces many of the same neurological effects one sees in a psychopath’s brain, whether or not those abused do show psychopathic traits/acquire a diagnosis of the disorder. For this reason, brain scans do not at all answer the question of the chicken or the egg.

But this author does not – and will not – realize any of this. Because to realize this would defeat the purpose of her self-story in the first place.

Some people judged this book as boring. I think they took the words of a traumatized and admittedly mentally disordered person in obvious denial (“my father beat me" and "I was never abused") at face value, and failed to exercise any of their own analytical or critical thinking skills in the process of reading. I found this book fascinating. It is thought-provoking in many ways.

Many of the critical reviewers on this page intuitively saw that this woman was deceiving herself, but I think they misguessed at the motives and reasons for her own mental gymnastics and cognitive dissonance. The author prides herself on her self-proclaimed talents for manipulating others, but this author is most adept and skilled at self-manipulation.

Fascinating read. The only reason I gave it four stars instead of five, is because this woman intends to procreate child victims for herself. She idolizes her abusive and dysfunctional parents and the way they “raised” her. Conveniently, she has self-diagnosed and decieved a professional into diagnosing her with an untreatable problem; now she is off the hook for being accountable to deal with her symptoms, just as any Narcissistic Personality Disordered person would most prefer in her life. It is her future child victims for whom I have sympathy.

478 people found this helpful

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Don Salsa Sr.

Interesting Yet as "Authentic" as a Sociopath

Reviewed in the United States on September 19, 2023

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I SUPPOSE the author is a "sociopath". I guess you'd have to take her word for it. But taking a sociopath's word is never a great idea anyway.

It seems, to me anyway, that Thomas's parents are the real sociopaths. And, in all honesty, a book about them would seem more interesting. Sociopathy is a spectrum. I believe M.E. Thomas here could be on that spectrum. But I'd conclude she's much more of a narcissist.

There's slight insight and ramblings into the inner workings of a "sociopath's" mind (citied by more insightful people) but the book...as a whole...mostly serves as a way Thomas could sell you how smart, successful, and cunning she is. I rolled my eyes when it only took her the first chapter to blatantly write that she's "smarter than me."

She's more successful. She's attractive. Funny, quick witted, creative, strong. She's the best at sex. The best at most things really. She also claims to have done some really interesting juicy sociopathic things...but can't divulge of them in the book of course. How convenient.

I believe her parents really did a number on her. The insight into her upbringing are disturbing, yet she writes about them lackadaisically and even excuses her parents abuse...clearly manipulating herself more than any victim she claims to have had.

Every story's moral is Thomas proving she's "SO smart!", "SO strong and sexy!" , "SO calm, cool!". Stating she's this ultra predator on another level. Its cringey to read her even gush about how she touches her "fanged" tooth with her tongue when she's ready to "manipulate".

She has heavy emotional trauma stemmed from childhood (due to being raised by ACTUAL sociopaths) which created an unempathetic narcissist that'll probably die alone and childless. And that's a shame. The point of this book is for M.E. Thomas to excuse her parent's terrible parenting and convince YOU, the reader, that she's this fascinating person.

If you're into a broken narcissist writing about how special they are for 300 pages...than proceed to read this book I guess.

2 people found this helpful

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cecile

Amazing, reading and insightful

Reviewed in France on June 10, 2023

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As an autistic person, I learned a lot about myself with this book. I saw many common traits between sociopaths and autistic persons, like a weak sense of self, emotional blindness, strong focus, … Like the author, I recently came to the conclusion that normality is not as normal as it seems. When I behave in a way that makes people bad at ease, I now know that this is not my problem but that it is theirs. What does it say about them that they’re bad at ease? what does it say about their normality? Neurotypical persons tend to always comply socially and it is boring and it is sad for them because It deprives them from freedom. being sociopath or autistic Is great and fun. I love our robotic voices. I myself knew a psychopath when I was in my 20s. I got very wary of her because she tried to manipulate me and to trap me in a love triangle. I saw her manipulation and I did not let her manipulate me. As a result, I kicked her out of my life and I kept only bad memories of her. While reading this book, good memories of her came back to me, like how funny she was. How a great view of the world she had and how we could laugh our asses off together, Making fun of what I now understand are Neurotypical persons. I thank the author for this book And I hope I will again befriend of a fellow Well functioning sociopath. One last thing, autistic persons and psychopaths are really good at identifying bullies in a group. This work is very useful for the group as a whole. Thank you.

Sally Jackson

Insightful

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 14, 2023

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A lot of people are seemingly turned off by ME’s decent opinion of herself, and I wonder if they actually wanted to read a book by a sociopath in the first place.

I was delighted to read an honest appraisal of life from the edges of society, a journey of introspection that an intelligent, rational but abnormal person has made. It has taught me a lot about the drivers of behaviour, and although the title is perhaps devised to make you think it’s going to be more exciting than it is, it is in fact true. ME literally confesses all that makes her different, and bares her innermost working and base desires. Shame on the reader for wanting to read more about anguish and terror, I say!

If you want salacious, maybe pick another book. If you want to really understand the spectrum of anti social personality (rather than have your biases confirmed), this is great.

I think you’ll find, as I did, that a spectrum exists in sociopathy depending on the age, experiences and level of self-reflection of the individual. The undesirable traits are still human traits, just as my Asperger’s traits are still human. I have found myself gobsmacked at the gross hypocrisy of the moral majority (who bend the rules to suit their proclivities), and I think the moral majority will find it confronting. It’s meant to be.

ME cautions against the base desire to segregate, punish and extinguish sociopaths - as other out-groups have been treated in the past. A very good point. Understanding and early intervention is going to be the key to helping those with ASPD make their way in the world with as little harm as possible. This book shows that it is possible to have a productive life.

2 people found this helpful

Lana

but then in the last chapters she makes an effort to explain that the love (she is strangely able to feel)

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 24, 2015

Verified Purchase

Very interesting book, though can't really be sure if the author is an actual sociopath, just a narcissist (which she is), emotionally damaged from childhood, or a sociopath wannabe.
After watching her on Dr Phil - one of the very rare interviews she did- she seemed to be trying to hide her unease with his questions under a bit of a façade, as if trying to convince him and herself that she is truly a sociopath.
From the book she describes sociopaths as cold-hearted, but then in the last chapters she makes an effort to explain that the love (she is strangely able to feel), is one of the few things that kept her from being worse than she could have been justifying her ability to love as that sociopaths just love differently. I have come across sociopaths before and though this is still a subject that requires a lot of development and research, sociopaths do not love, really. If she is, then I would say she might be part of the lighter shade of sociopathy, which her very surprised close friend commenting on Dr Phil about not knowing this side of the author at all, convinced me of.

The book is really easy to read, it's well written and the author has done a lot of research on the sociopath subject.
It sort of glorifies sociopathy, the author does mention some bad things she had to face due to her alleged sociopathy maybe she really has done worse and she doesn't mention them for legal reasons... but it really felt more narcissistic description of herself than sociopathic. I would say she was emotionally damaged at childhood and convinced herself it was better not to feel anything and grow self-centred and selfish... Since I don't know the author, can't really confirm my suspicion.
Overall some of the traits she describes exist in many non-sociopathic people, as people can be selfish, self-centred, manipulative, not feel sorry for killing a hamster like creature, have a certain degree of dishonesty, be rational and still have some degree of empathy, or feeling (love).

It's still worth a read for those interested in this subject, even to just figure out/debate whether this author really is as sociopathic as she claims.

__________________

At the moment of writing this review I hadn't yet finished the book- so after I finished I got to say that I was annoyed with lots of fallacies she wrote, as in associations of the sort -so and so said that geniuses are misunderstood people, sociopaths are misunderstood, therefore all sociopaths are misunderstood genius... - What???!! That really put me off. I understand she can be manipulative, but that made me question her intelligence which at least until those parts I really thought she had.

“ “How Do You Raise a Prodigy?” Andrew Solomon speaks of a prodigy as” a monster that violates the natural order” (…)”
“Perhaps if we treat sociopathic children more like prodigies and less like monsters, they might direct their unique talents (…)”

And there are plenty more examples like that. She picks lines of researchers and studies that say something she wants to attribute to sociopaths and have no relationship whatsoever and then simply puts them together surreptitiously as if they were intrinsically linked!! That made no sense to me, which really is a shame since I actually liked the book and it would have been good to be able to take her somewhat seriously, instead of suspecting she might be a bit delusional, self- aggrandisement apart.
The other thing was that in the last chapter she seems to try to stimulate empathy from the readers, for the sociopaths as "we are not as bad as the world makes us, so be nice to us" type of speech. I always thought sociopaths didn't/don't care for/require empathy of any sort. And I'm yet to meet sociopaths who don't take pleasure in being destructive to others around, to make me feel any empathy for them regardless of any factuality in them being the “spawn of the devil” which I doubt they are - unless they are a fiction character which she also talks about.
It's almost like a rattlesnake asking to be treated nicely for not being able to be nothing but poisonous and bite anyone that comes closer. Difference is rattlesnakes don't have free will.
A harmless sociopath? - perhaps that's what they call “high functioning”, but never met one except in fiction which was a bit my posture with reading this book.
Still doubt she is what she claims, she sounds more a narcissist than sociopath, but enjoyed reading it for the most part.

55 people found this helpful

पूजा शर्मा "सुगन्ध"

Nice

Reviewed in India on September 12, 2023

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Tasha

Not all that many confessions...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 29, 2015

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I had mixed feelings about this book. While the premise was very intriguing, I felt that the book fell short in delivering what the description promises - insight into the mind of a sociopath. I learned nothing that I didn't already know from one episode of criminal minds.

There are so many contradictions in this book, that I would be surprised if the author is really the master manipulator she claims to be - she can't keep her story straight. She says early on in the book that she was not horribly abused as a child, but then later goes on to describe situations in which her father emotionally abused and psychologically manipulated her and her siblings. He also physically abused her by lashing her with a belt on her back so hard that it left welts. Just another battle for power, according to her.
Another discrepancy that I noted, was that she says that not all sociopaths/psychopaths are criminals, and she belongs to this category. Later in the book, she tells us that while she would like to describe to us the way she has 'ruined' people, she can't due to possible legal backlash it could create.

For the most part though, I did find the book vaguely interesting. I was not offended by her point of view, (as some readers obviously were according to the reviews I've read) although her grandiosity and extreme arrogance did get a little tiresome. Do we really need to know how amazing you think your rack is, and how everyone everywhere is so obviously attracted to you?

An inflated sense of self worth, tales of immoral and heinous treatment of others, and poor justifications for such behaviour should be expected when reading this woman's book. She is, after all (supposedly), a sociopath.

I did find it amusing when she talked about how 'empaths' are governed and controlled by their emotions, while she is free to do anything. She, however, is controlled by the insatiable desire to gain power over others, so while she may think that she's free, she isn't. She will never be content with what she has. She will always want more power, more control, more admirers, more people to manipulate.

I neither loved nor hated this book. It was ok, and I wouldn't read it again.

15 people found this helpful

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