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The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance---What Women Should Know Kindle Edition
Following the success of Lean In and Why Women Should Rule the World, the authors of the bestselling Womenomics provide an informative and practical guide to understanding the importance of confidence—and learning how to achieve it—for women of all ages and at all stages of their career.
Working women today are better educated and more well qualified than ever before. Yet men still predominate in the corporate world. In The Confidence Code, Claire Shipman and Katty Kay argue that the key reason is confidence.
Combining cutting-edge research in genetics, gender, behavior, and cognition—with examples from their own lives and those of other successful women in politics, media, and business—Kay and Shipman go beyond admonishing women to "lean in."Instead, they offer the inspiration and practical advice women need to close the gap and achieve the careers they want and deserve.
The Confidence Code belongs in the bag of every woman in America. It combines groundbreaking scientific research and firsthand accounts from the world's most powerful women.-- "Joanna Coles, editor-in-chief, Cosmopolitan"
[Kay and Shipman dive] into tons of fascinating research and stats that are worth reading...[b]ut most importantly, the book provides some seriously actionable advice from some of the most successful women in the world (authors included).-- "Self magazine"
[Kay and Shipman] have written an enlightening, fascinating book that explains the relationship between confidence, resilience, risk, and reward...This book can definitely help you learn to boost your confidence.-- "Success magazine"
All too often, even the most successful women have indicated that their confidence is fleeting or domain-specific. The gifted authors who were behind Womenomics prove that can change. Discover how you can specifically develop that enduring sense of self-assurance in this remarkable book.-- "Marshall Goldsmith, author of the international bestseller What Got You Here Won't Get You There"
How do we make the most of our talents, skills, and interests? This book demonstrates that it's not enough to know what we're doing; our confidence is a key factor in our success. Fascinating reading for every woman who wants to take her life to the next level.-- "Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project"
In The Confidence Code, Kay and Shipman train a gimlet eye on an unspoken problem among women at all levels of achievement-nagging self-doubt...The pair embark on an engrossing trek through interviews with an array of successful women and seek the counsel of behavioral experts.-- "New York Times Book Review"
Kay and Shipman provide a great blueprint...All of this research, as well as the authors' own recounting of experiences with doubt in their professional lives, effectively builds into a comprehensive set of ingredients for the confident woman.-- "Publishers Weekly"
Kay and Shipman shine a perceptive light on the crucial role that confidence plays in the ability of women to succeed. They offer women practical advice and the vision of a more hopeful future.-- "Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and author of Lean In"
With an obvious command of her craft, Sandy Rustin's performance is notable not only for the easy-to-hear sweetness of her voice but also for her keen ability to sound more assertive when the authors have an important point to make. Her approach commands respect and makes this timely book sound as empowering as it is enlightening. With its colorful stories of women in a variety of professional fields, this is a smoothly written and helpful examination of how pervasive self-doubt is among women, especially in the subtle ways they overthink performance situations, fear conflict and disapproval, and have trouble recovering from defeat and failure.-- "AudioFile"
Women lack the kind of self-assertiveness and self-confidence that propel their male counterparts forward, and the authors examine the reasons behind this phenomenon...An insightful look at how internalizing cultural stereotypes can hold women back from competing with men.-- "Kirkus Reviews" --This text refers to the audioCD edition.
From the Back Cover
Confidence. We want it. We need it. But it can be maddeningly enigmatic and out of reach. The authors of the New York Times bestseller Womenomics deconstruct this essential, elusive, and misunderstood quality and offer a blueprint for bringing more of it into our lives.
Is confidence hardwired into the DNA of a lucky few—or can anyone learn it? Is it best expressed by bravado, or is there another way to show confidence? Which is more important: confidence or competence? Why do so many women, even the most successful, struggle with feelings of self-doubt? Is there a secret to channeling our inner confidence?
In The Confidence Code, journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman travel to the frontiers of neuroscience on a hunt for the confidence gene and reveal surprising new research on its roots in our brains. They visit the world's leading psychologists who explain how we can all chose to become more confident simply by taking action and courting risk, and how those actions change our physical wiring. They interview women leaders from the worlds of politics, sports, the military, and the arts to learn how they have tapped into this elemental resource. They examine how a lack of confidence impacts our leadership, success, and fulfillment.
Ultimately, they argue, while confidence is partly influenced by genetics, it is not a fixed psychological state. That's the good news. You won't discover it by thinking positive thoughts or by telling yourself (or your children) that you are perfect as you are. You also won't find it by simply squaring your shoulders and faking it. But it does require a choice: less people pleasing and perfectionism and more action, risk taking, and fast failure.
Inspiring, insightful, and persuasive, The Confidence Code shows that by acting on our best instincts and by daring to be authentic, women can feel the transformative power of a life on confidence.--This text refers to the hardcover edition.
- ASIN : B00DB368AY
- Publisher : Harper Business; 1st edition (April 15, 2014)
- Publication date : April 15, 2014
- Language : English
- File size : 1160 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 244 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #70,911 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2016
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Top reviews from the United States
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Apart from making you feel good, why is confidence important? According to the authors, ..."there is evidence that confidence is more important than ability when it comes to getting ahead," on the job and in life generally. Good compensation, happiness, and professional fulfillment may depend on confidence. Not born confident? Don't worry. "The newest research shows that we can literally change our brains (to make us) more confidence prone."
There's a lot of wisdom in the Confidence Code. One nugget is this: "Most people believe they need to criticize themselves in order to find motivation to reach their goals. In fact, when you constantly criticize yourself, you become depressed, and depression is not a motivational mindset." Also, "...Of all the warped things that women do to themselves to undermine their confidence, we found the pursuit of perfection to be the most crippling...you'll inevitably and routinely feel inadequate."
But most of us are perfectionists. How do we overcome these behaviors?
To get answers, Shipman and Kay interview and cite many thoughtful and engaging experts, who are quoted throughout the book, but the short course is this: Stop overthinking everything. Have courage, take action, congratulate yourself for trying regardless of outcome, and move on. Engage in self-compassion. Practice / do the work. Mastery in one thing spills over into other areas. Meditation can shrink your amygdalae (the region of the brain that amps up fear) and stimulate your prefrontal cortex (the calm, rational area). If that's too much work, concentrate on how you present yourself physically. Practice power positions. Spread out. Take up space. Keep your chin raised. Don't use "upspeak" (i.e. sound like a Valley Girl when you talk).
There's so much more, but here's the thing I want you to remember: the development of confidence is volitional - a choice. Or as Shipman and Kay put it: "Our biggest and perhaps most encouraging discovery has been that confidence is something we can, to a significant extent, control." What an important life skill for women of all ages to learn, and to teach their daughters and granddaughters.
This book points out how men learn, from childhood on, how to be confident, how to fail without feeling like a failure, while women tend to back away from that. Perhaps it is changing now, but that is definitely how it was when I was growing up. And worse, it was such a part of the social fabric that I never even thought twice about it. Women who talked themselves up were haughty. Humility was more attractive for women. But this left us vulnerable in the workplace, relegated to the back as men naturally push forward, and that is what the boss sees, leaving women's contributions unnoticed or under-noticed. I experienced this myself as, uncomfortable speaking up, I would hear others say what I was silently thinking and they got credit while I appeared mute and empty of ideas. Very foolish on my part. This book helps explain a lot of the thinking behind these types of actions and shows ways to change.
Truly, I thought this would be just another flavor of the day business book but I was pleasantly surprised. It is primarily aimed at the work world but contains information useful at any point in life. I'm glad I finally read it.
I would have liked to see more explicit exercises to overcome this, but this is still an incredible read nonetheless. I intuitively know what to do. I've also piled on some other books on my reading list regarding women and confidence: "Playing Big" by Tara Mohr and "Unbound: A Woman's Guide to Power" by Kasia Urbaniak (pre-ordered).
"The Confidence Code" brings up some really poignant psychological, genetic and social observations about how we as women behave and treat power, and it's an eye-opener. You of course may not agree with every little thing. And I have to say the chapter that describes lab rats having a cap of brainwave-reading wires surgically attached to their heads was pretty awful and disturbing. Not gonna lie. Did NOT like that.
But good book.
Top reviews from other countries
If you are a women who suffers from low self esteem and a lack of confidence, I will sum up the Confidence Code for you and save yourself some money - "think less, take action, be authentic"! Got it, great, now apply for the job as head of Facebook.....
I’d say must read for all women - even the confident ones.