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Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With Paperback – September 17, 2008

4.8 out of 5 stars 16 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Bonnie Harris holds a master's degree in Early Childhood Education with a specialization in parent/child development. She's appeared on TODAY and she's been interviewed on other television and radioshows, and in the New York Times. She's written a feature for Working Mother. She is the mother of two 20-somethings and lives in New Hampshire.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media (September 17, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1598694715
  • ISBN-13: 978-1598694710
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.9 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #857,916 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Most parenting books fail to take one major piece into consideration when they are espousing schools of thought, doling out advice or trying to offer parents hope on the journey: how things look...from the child's point of view.
This book nails that piece into place with wisdom, compassion and conviction. We need to stop seeing parenting as something that parents endure, perform well, or struggle with and start taking into account that parenting implies relationship, not a set of hard and fast rules that little people better follow or else. Bonnie Harris is a powerful voice of reason, rhyme and guts, and we all would do well to listen, listen, listen to ourselves from the inside out...and then do the same with our kids. In her book, she makes it clear, without judgment or preachy advice, that our confidence as parents relies on looking bravely in the mirror and seeing our reflection in our child's eyes--and vice versa. A wonderful book.
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Format: Paperback
It is a great book! I like the way each chapter ends with a summary and the suggested practices. I really believe your basic premise of kids wanting to be successful and the 8 principles are "right on"! We all need to internalize the idea that "the child is not bad; rather the child has bad behavior" and figure out why the behavior is taking place. Your 8 principles get us going in that direction. I liked the idea of trying to focus on what is going right rather than what is going wrong. Other similar ideas that jumped out at me were: Different does not mean wrong and a child is having a problem not being a problem. The eighth principle, "Good Boundaries Mean Good Balance", is a challenge for parents. Parents do want to fix problems so that their children will be happy but as you point out, it isn't always the best way for the child because we are not cultivating mechanisms that they can use in the future.

Adoptive Families Together (AFT) has similar philosophies regarding how we as parents react to our kids' behaviors. They come to us with so much baggage and we must determine what is causing the bad behaviors.

Part 2 is filled with great practical ways to apply the 8 Principles. Chapters 9 to 15 cover all the "hot spots" that occur in everyday life.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
When I slow down and have the patience to communicate with my children the way Harris describes, we have wonderful outcomes! (tears, anger, disrespect, etc..... are all alleviated so much quicker; and my children share so much more about their day withe me). It is very eye-opening and rewarding to really explore the reasons they respond the way they do in certain situations. I wish I had read this book years ago.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I love this book for the simple reason that the author explains that parents are not responsible for their child's behavior and that every child is born for success. This book opens lines of communication between the parent and the child without having to yell or punish your children with time outs, or grounding. It explains to parents how important it is for your child to make choices, to negotiate and to problem solve...all the things that your child will have to do for himself/herself in everyday life. I am so happy that I have found it!
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Format: Kindle Edition
I really enjoyed this book and immediately began putting these principles into practice. I was already parenting from a connective approach, I thought... But Bonnie's clear, concise explanations and real stories helped me see some key areas where I was missing the mark. I have noticed my son's confidence increase from literally day one of shifting my language and perspective. I highly recommend this book to everyone!
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I highly recommend this book for any parent that is dealing with a strong-willed child or is stuck in daily power struggles with their children. Here are some nuggets from the book:

The most important thing we can do as parents is connect with our children.
You cannot control your child's behavior but you can 100% control your own.
It is not our job to make our kids happy.
The behavior in your child that you focus on the most only grows.
Problem solving techniques are much more effective long term than punishment
Children hate to be punished and most parents hate to punish their children
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have read a lot of parenting books and this book totally describes the type of parenting I would like to practice!! It describes situations that happen every day and explains the deeper cause and how to handle it!
Of course like any book of the same category cannot give you miracle solutions because the solution is within you as you have to change first for your children to change!!

I would recommend it to anyone who is willing to try a more peaceful approach towards their kids.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A little tough and unable to accept some very disrespectful behavior, but also helpful to remind one to compassionate and to see things from the child's point of view, and to recognize the child's still limited ability to express themselves in socially acceptable ways (they're still learning and our job is to help them).
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