- Paperback: 264 pages
- Publisher: PivotPoint Press; 1 edition (June 15, 2005)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0974580805
- ISBN-13: 978-0974580807
- Product Dimensions: 5.7 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 10 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #757,453 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Conflict Unraveled: Fixing Problems at Work and in Families 1st Edition
Use the Amazon App to scan ISBNs and compare prices.
All Books, All the Time
Read author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more at the Amazon Book Review. Read it now
Frequently bought together
Customers who bought this item also bought
...Medea offers vivid, sometimes breathtaking, examples that make her thinking crystal clear. A fluent writer who cares about her audience... Medea unravels conflict the way most people want to: pitting wits and enlightened self-interest against dumb reflex and blind prejudice. Even tyranny and terrorism- methods based in madness- come unraveled at the touch of this book, a rare example of charismatic sanity. - Dr. E. James Lieberman, Professor of Clinical Psychiatry, George Washington University --Foreword Magazine
....good tactical advice ... is provided in pithy and often funny examples of overload situations. Medea's friendly, almost conspiratorial tone dovetails nicely with her direct writing... this book is thorough and has a lot of heart... (Short-listed as a core book for mid- to large libraries) --Library Journal
Andra Medea is an instructor in conflict management at the University of Chicago and a nationally recognized expert on the subject. What is less well known is that Andra has a superb sense of humor. This is a distinctive asset in Conflict Unraveled: Fixing Problems At Work And In Families in which she distills her many years of experience and expertise in a volume specifically written and presented so as to be fully accessible to the non-specialist general reader. This wonderful compendium of observations, advice, strategies, tactics, insights, and illustrations is something of a complete and very highly recommended course on conflict resolution whether in the home or in the workplace. --Midwest Book Review
From the Publisher
Library Journal recommends Conflict Unraveled for a short list of essential self-help books.
Going beyond business and family, Conflict Unraveled was named a Top Ten choice for the Bethany Retreat House, a spiritual center for change.
Its humor and insight makes it an excellent choice for discussion groups. Please check out our discussion group questions.
Top customer reviews
I think the book is out of print, but it deserves to be re-issued to help all of us.
Shel Horowitz's award-winning sixth book, Principled Profit: Marketing That Puts People First, demonstrates how to build a business around ethics, environmental sustainability, and cooperative practices--and how to develop marketing that highlights those advantages.
I was delighted and surprised by Andra Medea's book, Conflict Unraveled. Although I am a fairly fast reader, I was forced to slow down while reading this book because it constantly identified conflicts and problems I see daily at work in my co-workers, supervisors, and even at home with my own family---and happily, the solutions.
Though the book is solidly grounded on theory and successful tactics used by such luminaries as Bevel, Nash, and other civil rights activists, for me the best thing about the book is all the practical advice it offers. Several real-life examples offered in the book have really stuck with me---for instance, I can still vividly imagine, as described in one chapter, the author successfully facing down an angry, blustering man who had hit her car. If I don't remember anything else from the book, I will remember the tactic she used!
The book is also wonderfully full of common sense. You will be on both sides of the table, so to speak (the confronting one and/or the one being confronted) many times in your life, and Medea recognizes this. She offers tools to keep you from embarrassing yourself when you get angry (and not wanting to go back into the office the next day because of it), and techniques to help you deal with a person on the other side of your desk who is in a rage. Anger and conflict is natural, she reminds us; furthermore, it's chemical. Hard to deal with hormones or adrenaline, yes---but Medea offers practical tips which can really work if you have the discipline to use them---or at least have the tenacity to keep trying to use them!
1. "Flooding [adrenaline] shorts out most of the higher parts of the brain... the first step in managing conflict is to be braced for this chemical onslaught, because it will undermine every other useful skill you own."
2. "You may have found yourself in the surreal position of agreeing with someone who's yelling at you, saying everything she could want to hear, and still have her keep shouting as if you disagreed." (I have, many times.)
3. "Consider these skills when compared to negotiation. Accusation, manipulation and whining are all ways to score points or get things without offering anything worthwhile in return."
4. "The solution for the good guys at level three [blind behavior/anger] is exactly the same as for bad guys: you must become aware of your own behavior. ...Your own behavior can get you out of this. No one can do it for you."
5. "Some people will never give up the fight. Isolate them."
6. "Baron von Clausewitz, the military theorist, realized that it wasn't enough to focus on an opponent's weakness. The opponent could always improve a weakness, protect it or turn it into a strength. Instead, von Clausewitz suggested to focus on their strengths, because an opponent could never abandon a strength. The strength was an essential part of who they were."
Medea also breaks conflict down into different categories, in which some tactics work, and some do not. Primate signals (an interesting chapter!), for instance, work well in all types of conflict, from problem-solving to the most severe (tyranny/predation).
She also makes some interesting distinctions in types of workplaces and their leaders, and there's a long discussion on direct communication versus indirect communication that very much held my interest. I'm a direct communicator, as are most of my co-workers, but we have one superior who is indirect. That alone has led to a great deal of conflict. Thanks to the book, I'm ready to try out some new communication techniques that may work more successfully than what I have been trying.
It is very rare that I rate any book five stars. (At this point, I have only given one other book five stars.) This one deserves all five of those stars. Definitely worth the money.