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The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family Paperback – April 22, 2007
Best Books of the Year So Far in fiction, nonfiction, mysteries, children's books, and much more.
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From the Publisher
"A tremendous resource for parents and professionals alike." --Thomas Atwood, president and CEO, National Council for Adoption
"A must-read not only for adoptive parents but for all families striving to correct and connect with their children." --Carol S. Kranowitz, M.A., author of The Out-of-Sync Child
"The Connected Child is the literary equivalent of an airline oxygen mask and instructions: place the mask over your own face first, then over the nose of your child. This book first assists the parent, saying, in effect, 'Calm down, you're not the first mom or dad in the world to face this hurdle, breathe deeply, then follow these simple steps.' The sense of not facing these issues alone -- the relief that your child's behavior is not off the charts -- is hugely comforting. Other children have behaved this way; other parents have responded thusly; welcome to the community of therapeutic and joyful adoptive families."
Melissa Fay Greene Author of There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Africa's Children
Top Customer Reviews
There are dozens of parenting books on the market, but what makes this book so very special is the authors' ground-breaking, empirical research with adopted children. Their research has been done at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, TX ([...]) Their discoveries and methods are unique because they use a wholistic approach to healing the wounded child. The result is that they are quietly creating miracles as their methods are learned by others and spread around the world. Their research is also helping other at-risk children, including those with autism.
According to the authors, structural changes take place in the brains of infants who were abused or deprived prior to adoption. Unfortunately, it is common practice in some foreign orphanages for babies to be laid on their backs for 24-hours a day, with a bottle propped into their mouths, and lying in soiled clothing. They are never cuddled or talked to because it makes them cry for more attention. These orphanages become eerily silent as babies eventually give up their voices. Similarly, toddlers beg for food from their cribs, only to be ignored. Many children are sexually abused in these orphanages.
Many adoptive parents believe that all they have to do is adopt the baby, and love and nurture it, and everything will be fine. However, the authors' research shows that these parents are about to face the biggest, and perhaps the most expensive, challenge of their lifetime.Read more ›
It's become clear to us -- and other parent of adopted kids with whom we speak -- that these broad-spectrum diagnoses are "convenient" terms in which to bucket our kids. These kids frequently show the same issues and inappropriate behaviors. Unfortunately, the standard process for addressing these issues (positive reinforcement, drug therapies, structured responses, diet modifications) never seem to work. This appears especially true of those kids, such as our daughter, who are adopted from Eastern European insitutions/orphanages.
We're read all of the general literature regarding these broad-spectrum diagnoses and tried every guideline in these books on how remediate these issues and bad behaviors -- all with little or no success.
"The Connected Child" speaks directly to the behavioral issues and unique emotional requirements that these adopted children require. Their approach -- based on the TCU Institute of Child Development methodology --is more a process for modifying parent behavior than addressing the child's issues and behaviors. Specifically, the book suggests that all of these kids exhibit behaviors based on perceived threats and fears established/learned during their earliest years in institutions. It recommends that parents develop -- and consistently reinforce -- a loving, affectionate, trusting and safe environment for these kids so that they can grow away from viewing people and life situations in a fearful or threatening way.Read more ›
I consider the expertise of Dr. Purvis and Dr. Cross to be the best I've found in 16 years of searching for answers. Furthermore, their book gives practical strategies for dealing with sensory dysfunction, learning/language issues, and behavior problems. Once a parent better understands these approaches, many power struggles between the child and parent can be avoided, lessened, or altogether prevented. As a "horse whisperer" tames the wild stallion so Dr. Purvis calms the troubled child and has been affectionately nicknamed the "child whisperer." Our family will be forever grateful.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great book. Easy to read and implement. I discovered, this book applies not only for traumatized children, but works wonders for any "strong willed child". Read morePublished 2 days ago by Solnechnaya
This book had some useful information and ideas, but a lot of the suggestions are silly and impractical. Read morePublished 17 days ago by KJ
I will be referring back to this book for a long time. It feels like reading lifetimes of consolidated wisdom.Published 17 days ago by Bren Eifler
Amazing! All parents should read this. I would have made so many mistakes if I hadn't read this before our children came to us.Published 28 days ago by Acmehome
Fantastic book that all adoptive parents should read, even if things are going really well. Really useful insights about loss.Published 1 month ago by Kindle Customer