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The Conscious Bride: Women Unveil Their True Feelings about Getting Hitched (Women Talk About) Paperback – December, 2000

4.0 out of 5 stars 83 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

From the Publisher

Those blushing brides deal with plenty of complex emotions before they make their way down the aisle. Anxiety over the planning of the wedding and stressful family issues, not to mention concerns about marriage itself, can make an engagement as much a trial as a pleasure. This frank look at a bride's inner life provides advance warning, support, and understanding for women getting married. Led by a counselor specializing in the issues of brides-to-be, a diverse group of brides share their true feelings about such issues as being given away, wearing a veil, changing their name, and closing the hotel room door only to find themselves suddenly - married. The author unravels the psychology behind common difficulties and offers practical advice for handling the fears and doubts that so often run amok as wedding bells take their toll.
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Product Details

  • Series: Women Talk About
  • Paperback: 220 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (December 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1572242132
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572242135
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.5 x 7.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (83 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #206,143 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By A. Maxham on February 27, 2001
Format: Paperback
While these 6 inch thick bridal magazines have ideas on wedding gowns, honeymoon locales, and bridesmaid dresses, this book is wonderful for the emotional changes that will take place as you prepare for your wedding. For me the single most valuable aspect of this book is that it is *validating*- that I'm not the only one who has experienced lows during this "happiest" time in my life. Through the use of other brides' experiences and quotes, this book validates the losses (e.g., place of Dad in your life), the fear of changes (loss of name, loss of single independence), the disappointments (the ring, the proposal, the absence of deceased loved ones), and generally the feeling of being overwhelmed by the giant Wedding Creature that seems to overtake your life. I didn't really get "advice" per se out of this book- mostly just the feeling that I'm not alone and weird if I experience a negative emotion as a I plan and anticipate my wedding. I don't really need advice- I just wanted to hear I wasn't alone.
As other reviewers have pointed out, the author does talk about losing one's "maidenhead" and the author does have a tendency to relate things to mythology. While another reviewer had a problem with the maidenhead section- I really didn't. For example, the author relates part of "maidenhead" to the loss (or potential loss) of one's maiden name. I'm an older (31) professional (Ph.D.) bride, and I've struggled with the loss of my maiden name and my identity (and whether I want to lose my name at all). The author even indicates that older brides may have bigger problem giving up a name that they've had, identified with, and used professionally for so long.
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Format: Paperback
I went to a bookstore yesterday looking for relief in a book about my post wedding angst. Viola! I'm in my second month of marriage and my husband and I are discovering why they say the first year is the most difficult. We're both definitely going through our own personal growing pains. Sometimes it doesn't feel like the "us" I've known at all. So, upon rapidly purchasing Sheryl's book and reading as much as I could squeeze in last night, I'm at least feeling more assured that these feelings are quite normal.
The word "therapy" has continually popped into my head since he proposed last December 30th. Fortunately, since I've gone through my share of self exploration, I felt I was equipped with enough tools to deal with my new emotions. And I do feel I gave them their due credence. I was told I was the calmest bride many of my guests had ever seen. And I did feel calm, serene even.
However, immediately after the wedding was over, I missed it. I felt it had slipped through time as quickly as Cinderella's carriage turned into a pumpkin. Once the wedding was over, I was off my "pedestal". What a crash. Princess syndrome aside, the post wedding reality of the "forever" commitment had propelled me into the depressed and freaked out state that lead me to the bookstore last night. "The Conscious Bride" book is just the affirmation I needed that I'm on the right track in realizing this is quite an adjustment both my husband and myself have taken on. I purchased two copies - my sister-in-law is engaged to be married in May. I'm sure she will be pleased to read it during her engagement.
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Format: Paperback
I'm a 35 year old man who read this book at considerable threat to my masculinity. I read it at coffee shops, doctor waiting rooms, and finally as I grew more bold, in the gym where I received withering looks from neckless men who were obviously out of touch with their feminine side.
It's a deceptive book, that hides something for a man who can see beyond the powder blue cover with a pert bride who sits dreamily in thought. In it I see what roller coaster the bride is on, as well as seeing myself reflected in those pages. It made me feel that I wasn't alone in my experiences with family and my bride, (now ex-wife) and I wondered to myself, where was this book when I needed it?
This book works on different levels that allows a reader to become more aware of unconscious processes and therefore more grounded in their wedding process. This awareness doesn't just apply to the wedding experience though, I find it helpful in giving me awareness about the processes to my everyday life.
The author discusses big issues that newly weds deal with as well as their families. She grounds us in the discussions by making us aware of the the things we didn't want to talk about. She sharpens our awareness of ourselves on a journey that treads inward and finally into a discussion of the nature of relationships in our culture and how this is changing. Imagine a future where no-neck guys in gyms openly read and discuss the Conscious Bride without shame.
In the end I felt the healing effects this book had to offer a man who went through many of the things she discusses. I found myself feeling no longer alone, and suddenly able to put context to my experience and hopefully the awareness that I will need to make my next experience more positive.
Yes, buy this book. Put it in your book collection and refer to it. Give it to friends who are getting married. Talk about it in coffee shops, near the water cooler, and in gyms with guys that have no necks.
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