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2.7 out of 5 stars
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Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!!

Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!!

byEliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson
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Top positive review

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Catbird
5.0 out of 5 starsThis book set my life straight. Sorta.
Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2013
This book changed my life. After finishing, I spent a long time with my wife of four years, and we discussed our financial situation. The truth is, no matter how much we loved each other, no matter how perfect we were together, we could not afford to bring a child into this world, and we learned through this book that this was not God's plan.
We carefully weighed our options. The first we discussed was forcible sterilization. This was something we had to think about for a while, because by the same logic, if we intentionally sterilized ourselves, it could either be one very big sin or an infinite volume of small sins, depending on whether God's sin-counter is digital or analog respectively.
For the next few weeks we began to configure our home in such a way that would ultimately lead to accidental castration. Unfortunately, this ended not with joy, but with hideous defeat, as a bread knife intended to snag my low-hanging testicles accidentally caught the missus on the inside of her left thigh, severing her femoral artery.
We were able to think quickly enough, using my belt and several pages from this blessed book to staunch the blood flow. Unfortunately, she ended up losing the leg.

We realized the folly of our ways when the stump of her newly amputated leg awakened in me a long dormant acrotomophilia. It became apparent that it was not God's plan for me to remain with this woman, this beautiful woman, no matter how badly I wanted to care for her for the rest of her life regardless of what happened. Such a devotion was clearly sinful. So we decided it was best for us to part ways.
We kissed one last time before filing the divorce papers, relegating us to a state where we could no longer have sex together no matter how badly we wanted it.
Over breakfast one morning, my new ex-wife suggested something to me.
She said that a strange feeling came to her in a dream the night before, where a beautiful, angelic woman visited her and began to disrobe. We realized with delight that my beautiful ex-wife was actually a lesbian, and that she would never have to use birth control again.

That left me alone, delighted for the once love of my life, but wishing I could find a way to move on as quickly as she had.
But now, having faithfully removed myself from the cardinal sin of a respectful, faithful relationship with a woman, I was finally shown the light. His name is Lance.
Thank you, Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson, you helped set my life straight. Or... Well, gay. But you understand.
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79 people found this helpful

Top critical review

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John Williamson
VINE VOICE
2.0 out of 5 starsMs. Strong-Anderson, please turn your Caps Lock key OFF!
Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2012
Some time ago, a witty colleague asked me if I had seen author Ms. Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson's epic 648-page "masterpiece" Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!!, and I had to reply that I had not. I was told by my friend where to look, so I did, and I read some of the reviews. But at the price asked by the author, all I could do was shake my head, as it seemed to be quite a price for such a monograph.

A few months ago I was perusing some of the Amazon tags and noticed within the 'amazon oddities' category, this book was one of the top ranking there. And while searching further I discovered that this tome was listed as a Kindle edition at a far more reasonable price. One can in fact purchase this Kindle version, BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!, for less than a pound of decent coffee (at the time of this writing), and one will need plenty of that to try and work your way through the listed 1218 pages.

Curiosity got the better of me, and on a whim I bought it when it was here in mid-January at $3.03, just over three bucks, so on January 18, 2012, I bit the bullet and purchased this it. At that price, why not?

◆ Reviewer Note:

Shortly after I had posted my review of this AVP purchase, the Kindle edition disappeared from the Amazon pages entirely. Maybe it offended Ms.Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson that someone would purchase her amazing literary gem and not gush over the fact that it wasn't worth a 5-star review considering the $3.03 bargain price. It should also be noted that her older [ Birth Control Is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and Also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!![ BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES AND ALSO ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!! ] By Strong-Anderson, Eliyzabeth Yanne ( Author )Dec-26-... paperback edition is noted as 'Currently unavailable.'

But how does one explain such a book, much less review it?

Perhaps the best way is to reproduce the highlights and notes that I was taking with the Kindle while I was reading it, starting in January 2012. I've had to delete some of them, as they reflected some confusion that I was going through as I read this manuscript, but I have not corrected the original spelling, grammar, syntax, overly-abundant asterisks or the excessive use of upper case words and letters. They appear here just as they did in the Kindle edition.

To make this commentary somewhat legible within the framework of Amazon reviews, directly from my saved Kindle highlights, my comments will be listed here with a simple ● Note annotation.

◆ Reader Observations:

BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE: AND ALSO:>ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN: *
● Note: So begins Elizabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson's epic Amazon classic...

GENESIS 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
● Note: So it goes...

GENESIS 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
● Note: Where is she going with the "Be fruitful, and multiply" part of this... beginning to wonder.

*SO BIRTH CONTROL ALSO LEADS> TO SPIRITUAL DARKNESS AND SPIRITUAL LUST AND SPIRITUAL SINS: WHICH LEADS TO SINFUL TEMPATIONS OF ADULTERY, MALICE, JEALOUCIES, AND BACKSLIDING, BACKBITING AND EVEN FROM THE CHURCHES TRUE HOLINES DOMINIONSHIP LEADERSHIP: RESULTING>IN MANY CHRISTIAN WOMEN AND MAN>TODAY: LIVING> LIKE WORLDLY SINNER MARRIAGES:> TODAY: *BECAUSE > WHEN IT COMES TO BIRTH CONTROL: CONTROLING> HOW MANY CHILDREN WE HAVE YEARLY. WITHOUT THE TRUE AMOUNT OF CHILDREN GOD INTENDED YOU TO HAVE IN YOUR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
● Note: Lust again?

*GOD SAITH TO ME: ONE DAY: WHILE:> I WAS WATCHING THE PEOPLE OF AFRICA ON TELEVISION: RECEIVING THE GIFTS OF CONDOMS: FROM CHRISTIAN MINISTRIES : *GOD SAIDTH: *AFTER I ASK GOD: SHOULD WE GIVE AIDS VICTIMS CONDOMS FOR SAFE MARITAL SEX?? **AND GOD SAIDTH: AS CLEAR AS CRYSTAL NO!! >>BUT THE *THE CHRISTIANS: ON TELEVISION WHERE GIVING CONDOMS: FOR SAFE SEX AGAINST THE SPREAD OF AIDS AND HIV VIRUS!! **BECAUSE:> THEY WERE: > TRYING TO STOP THE SPREAD OF THE DISEASES OF AIDS AND HIV VIRUS!! **TRULY I FELT KIND OF ALARM: GOD WOULD SAY NO!! **DON'T GIVE CONDOMS OUT!!
● Note: So... we are not to use condoms and allow for the spread of STDs? This is ridiculous!

OF ALARM: GOD WOULD SAY NO!! **DON'T GIVE CONDOMS OUT!! **
● Note: So we go into denial about AIDS?

YOUTH LUST.
● Note: So earlier we had "Be fruitful, and multiply" and now we have "youth lust" being introduced?

WHEN ARE THEY GONNA SHOW THE WORLD: CHRISTIAN DO NOW HOW TO SERVE GOD THROUGH THE LARGE FAMILY INCREASE LIFESTYLE OF HOLY CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES?? ***INSTEAD OF MAKING OUR CHRISTIAN CHURCHES AND CHRISTIAN TELEVISION LEADERSHIP: LOOK LIKE A FALSE CHRIST, BABY KILLING LEADERSHIP. **
● Note: Author needs to take a junior-high level course in basic writing skills.

THIS SIN OF SEXUAL CHRISTIAN MARRIGES: BUT LIVING ON BIRTH CONTROL METHODS KILLING THEIR BABIES YEARLY: * HAS RESULTED IN THE SIN OF FORNACATION AND FALSE CHRISTIAN TEACHING!!
● Note: Hmm... cannot seem to find "fornacation" in my dictionary.

REMEMBER: > *AND NOT ONLY DO THEY HAVE SMALLER BREAST COMPLETING ONLY WITH TEENAGER BODIES: BUT THEY HAVE WEAKER SEXUAL DESIRES. **AND LOW SELF ESTEEN: ENDING UP IN THE DOCTORS OFFICE TO BE A SURGERY QUEEN!! **
● Note: Whoa... what's with this "smaller breast 'completing' only with teenager bodies" business? And "weaker sexual desires" with "low self esteen"? Wondering what a 'surgery queen' might be.

BECAUSE OF THE LUST AND WEAKNESS OF WOMEN!! **BECAUSE THE WOMEN WHO HAS BECOME:>MORE> OBCESS WITH OUR HER OWN BODY
● Note: It's bad enough with the upper case ranting and screaming, but what does "OBCESS WITH OUR HER OWN BODY" mean?

A NORMAL SEXUAL CHANGE IN THE BODY!!
● Note: Uh-oh! Here we go again...

YOUTHFUL LUST
● Note: There's a whole lot of lust in this book... (There were numerous references to this.)

*THE TRUTH OF INSULINS COMING FROM DOGS OR PIG FLUIDS: IS THE CONSPIRACY TO DEFILE THE HOLY PERSON OR A AFRICAN PERSON. **CAUSING THEM TO TAKE ON A : ABOMINATION OF A UNCLEAN ANIMAL. **THIS IS TRULY THE WITCH DOCTORS WORK. **NOT A GOOD DOCTORS WORK. **INSULIN ALSO CAUSING CRIPPLING DISEASES. **AND TRULY I KNOW IT IS BECAUSE THE INJECTION OF PIG OR DOG INSULIN IS >EVIL AND FROM THE DEVIL. *IT IS NOT OF GOD. **AND THE PEOPLE WHO STARTED DOG AND PIG INSULINS SHOULD GET BLAME FOR MANY BAD CRIPPLING DISEASES THAT DIABETICS GET.
● Note: Dog or pig fluids? I'm getting a headache reading all of this caps lock gibberish.

**SO YOU ARE NOT FULLFILLED IN YOUR SEXUAL PLEASURE DIVORING AND SEEKING FORNATIONS RELATIONSHIPS.
● Note: I am wondering what "fornations" relationships could be.

DAUTHERS OF GOD.
● Note: What are "DAUTHERS OF GOD" as I read here? What is a dauther?

POEM TITLE: *PEOPLE WHO **LIVE **IN **DENIAL?? MUST STOP LIVING IN DENIAL. **BECAUSE THEY HURT OTHER PEOPLE TOO. WRITTEN BY: ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON* FEBRUARY 25, 2004 ******************************** *PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN DENIAL?? LIVE A LIFE OF CRIME AND TRIALS????? SOME GET SAVED WITH JESUS. SOME START EVIL AND LEAVE US !! *THESE PEOPLE LIVE LIKE *GODS*TIME DOES NOT EXIST??? ALWAYS *TAKING *THE *HIDDEN RISK??? *YOU..PEOPLE **WHO **LIVE **IN DENIAL?? *IF YOU DON'T GROW UP: AND STOP THE FALSE WAYS. YOU'LL IN UP:> HURTING OTHER PEOPLE BLESSED DAYS.
● Note: This poem gives me a headache just reading it!

POEM AND RAP SONG: 4>>>>
● Note: No, no! No more poems and rap songs, please!

OKAY OKAY!! > HONEY
● Note: Honey? (looking around...) Sorry, I'm not your Honey!

I NEED HELP GUIDE YOU. OKAY OKAY!! > HONEY CONSIDER
● Note: OK, "Honey," Caps Lock off for awhile, please!

FLESHLY PARTS!! HEY!!
● Note: Please, Ms. Strong-Anderson, behave! (Again, numerous references.)

OUTER PARTS!!
● Note: Uh-oh! (And again, numerous references.)

YOUR OUTER PARTS!!
● Note: Leave my outer parts out of this!

YA SEE GOD LOOKS AT THE HEART!! AND NOT YOUR FLESHLY PARTS. >>SAY IT!!
● Note: Say it? I will not, thank you!

YA SEE: GOD CHANGES THE HEART. AND CLEANS THE OUTER PARTS!! >>LEARN IT!!
● Note: I never learned this in Sunday School...

GOD CHANGES THE HEART!! AND CLEANS THE FLESHLY PARTS!! SAY IT!!
● Note: I'll clean my own fleshy parts, thank you!

FLESHLY PARTS!!
● Note: Lot of talk of "outer parts" and "fleshly parts" all through this... and all in CAPS, too.

IF YOU CAN REMEMBER: THE PHAROADS: WHO DISOBEY!! OUR GOD!! AND THE EGYPTIANS??>> WHO WAS SINFUL>> MAGICIANS: THEY WHERE NOT>> OF GOD. SO GOD HARDEN>>THEIR>HEARTS!! BECAUSE THEY HAD SINFUL PARTS.
● Note: What are "Pharoads," are they Egyptian highways? And what are these "sinful parts" of which she writes?

PHAROADS
● Note: There are those "Pharoads" again... all Pharoads don't lead to Rome, that much is clear.

Table of Contents
● Note: Author calls this mess a Table of Contents? And what a mess it is! Ms. Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson, you can do better than this... and turn your Caps Lock key OFF! Can you hear me?

¦------------------------------------------------¦

At this point I have to interject that about a third of the way through this headache-inducing manifesto, with all of its misspellings, overuse of the Caps Lock key and appalling grammar, with all of the "YOUTH LUST", "FORNACATION", "FLESHLY PARTS", "OUTER PARTS", and such, I had been wondering where Ms. Strong-Anderson was going with this. That was to be answered at Kindle location 18421, where the author states:

FOR ALL WHO GIVE A $5000.00 DONATION TO OUR MINISTRY. *GOD IS GIVING LIVING WATER : PRAY OVER BY ME. **EVEN SO WRITE ME FOR THE BOTTLE SIZE YOUWANT SENT TO YOU. OR MAKE A APPOINTMENT TO PICK IT UP. ***WRITE ME AND ASK: ABOUT THE GIFT OF LIVING WATER: OFFER FROM GOD AND JESUS CHRIST: THROUGH THE HOLYSPIRIT ANOINTING IN MY LIFE!! YOU CAN SEND DONATIONS TO: MAIL ADDRESS ONLY: MS. ELIYZABETH A. STRONG-ANDERSON C/O EL-YASHICA P O BOX 43964 TUCSON ARIZONA 85733

● Note: Ah-hah! Now we get to the bottom of this: she wants a donation of $5000 to be sent to a dubious email address? All of this for a bottle of water?

¦------------------------------------------------¦

◆ Note to Potential Readers:

This Kindle title is noted as being "Text-to-Speech Enabled" in the product description. I've used this feature upon occasion with my Kindle 2 when my eyes were tired, or a few times out of pure curiosity. The feature usually works well once the user learns how and when to use the controls, but I might suggest that it not be tried on your Kindle. A number of pages in, my Kindle started acting up, and I thought that it was speaking in tongues... and then it locked up. I did a Kindle reset, and all was fine, so I tried the text-to-speech option successfully on a number of other titles. But when I tried it again on Ms. Strong-Anderson's e-book again, the Kindle became locked up once again, and had to be reset. I didn't try it again, but use caution if you try it. Your experience may vary.

◆ Summary:

It's hard to explain my reactions to this often rambling dissertation, as I often had to put it down. Curiosity made me take a large section of this author's tract and do a grammar check on it, and it ended up with a Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level of 5.1. This was actually surprising considering the massive amount of grammar and typographic errors.

It was published by AuthorHouse in 2008, and this company is known as a "self-publishing" business, one of those where you pay your money to have your book published. I can only guess that Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson didn't buy their proofing package or that the editors there have even lower grammar skills than does Ms. Strong-Anderson. And I want to tread lightly here as the author profile on her paper copy of this book states that she has "A 1ST DEGREE BLACK BELT IN TAEJUKENPO KARATE." I never heard of Taejukenpo Karate before and cannot find any 'Net references to it other than those referring to anyone other than this author.

The overuse of uppercase and the frequent typographic errors gave me a splitting headache while reading it, yet at times I found Ms. Strong-Anderson's treatise to be absolutely hilarious. And I often wonder about authors who seem to have a frequent focus on body parts to the point that it seems obsessive.

Some parts of this are yawningly boring beyond description. I had thought Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol had been difficult to get through at over 600 pages in paperback, a 3-star offering even with a lot of coffee, but this one is far worse. Dan Brown's book had at least some form of a plot; this does not, unless I've been blinded by upper case letters.

You could also opt for the 600 page A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates from Rand Corporation, a reprint of their classic 1955 book consisting primarily of a random number table generated by an electronic simulation of a roulette wheel attached to a computer. For some readers, this may be more exciting and make more sense.

It was interesting to see that in the section below the paperback edition of this book is the regular section "Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed" which contained links to this item and this gem, among other items. These seem somewhat appropriate, though the author might disagree.

So in conclusion, how would I subjectively rate Ms. Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson's work here?

If it was a Kindle freebie, it charitably would be a 3-star offering, if only in recognition of the amount of work that the author put into this farce, for that's all that it could be. At $3.00 or thereabout, it's a 2-star travesty. At anything more than that, you can imagine the highly-appropriate expletive that this reader might have.

I don't recommend it unless you've exhausted everything possible that there is to read on Amazon and everywhere else. Even comic books, including those which are written completely in upper case, are more entertaining. I've never before read anything like this in my life, but my curiosity was fed... and I almost choked on it.

Did you ever feel like there were wasted hours taken from your life that you could never again regain? But if she ever releases an e-book on Taejukenpo Karate, then I'll have to buy it, as that would have to be a real gem.

4/25/2012
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66 people found this helpful

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From the United States

Knightwolf1994
5.0 out of 5 stars ABORTION IS TEMPORARY, DOOM IS ETERNAL!
Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2020
THANKS TO THIS BOOK IM CURRENTLY WAGING A HOLY CRUSADE AGAINST DEMONS SLAUGHTERING EVERY HUMAN IN A 666 MILE RADIUS!
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Hail Satan!
Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2020
We have looked to the Northwest
and called you in. We reject the Trinity and pray devoutly to you, great Morningstar. Give us your knowledge of all secret things.
Bring us honor, wealth, and good familiars.
Bind all men to our will, as we have bound ourselves for now and ever to yours.
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Nunyourbusiness
1.0 out of 5 stars 9 kids later.....
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2018
So in my attempt to banish my inner demons A.K.A Whore ways I decided to take a chance and pick this book up at the XXX Bookstore in my trailer Park community. I must admit I truly felt touched and inspired at the same time. This book really hit home coming from a disfunctional family of 12 which included 3 daddy’s 2 mommy’s and 7 other siblings who had no clue where they came from. So back to my story. I have never believed in birth control since I knew there are more natural ways of preventing new recruits to God’s army of darkness. This book went into thorough detail of using alcoholic beverages, weed and crack cocain use to really put a stop to those little swimmers. Well guess what I tried everything and I still ended up with a soccer team. These little bastards are truly a blessing so I say “ Can I get a Amen!! “ On that note this book gets 1 Star. If only I knew who the daddy was for all of them...
One person found this helpful
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Kristen
1.0 out of 5 stars for only $117? yes please
Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2018
this book was worth every penny. i appreciate the author's use of caps lock. i can only understand people when they are yelling at me because i have a hearing deficit. this also applies to books.

thank you eliy-zabeth, whose name i will never pronounce correctly. your poetic prose has restored my faith in baby jesus.
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Ed S.
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2016
This is required reading at the semenary.
6 people found this helpful
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Lilly Piper
5.0 out of 5 stars HOLY:> MOTHER. **OF>> GOD!!
Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2015
EAGERLY AWAITING THE MANIACALLY> SCREAMING: AUDIOBOOK!!
11 people found this helpful
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Panduuur
1.0 out of 5 stars Oooooh Lordy!
Reviewed in the United States on October 21, 2015
All this book contained was picture after picture of bloody vaginas glued to Jesus's face. Would not recommend unless you have a fetish for that sort of thing.
10 people found this helpful
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Jacob Keys
1.0 out of 5 stars ALL CAPS IS PRETTY AWESOME
Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2015
ARE YOU READY TO UNLEASH THE FURY?!!!1!??
7 people found this helpful
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Vennie Kocsis
1.0 out of 5 stars Star Wars XVII: The Dark Side of Self Publishing
Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2015
"The dark side of self publishing, it is. The lunatics out, there will be." Edgar Allan Poeda

Amazon literature goes to hell in a virtual shopping cart because hand baskets only exist by way of recyclable grocery bags.

Does she cover at all if God gets mad when we swallow or what happens then? This is crucial and could dictate whether I ascend to hell or fall to heaven. (Heat rises so obviously hell is UP) Do we end up in an esophagus purgatory? She must write a sequel.
8 people found this helpful
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Leovinus Adams
1.0 out of 5 stars No Audiobook?
Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2015
Wish there was an Audiobook version of this. Would be fun to have on when unwanted neighbors knock on my door.
22 people found this helpful
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