- Paperback: 224 pages
- Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education; 3rd edition (April 22, 1997)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1565656296
- ISBN-13: 978-1565656291
- Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.5 x 8.3 inches
- Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 105 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #44,496 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness 3rd Edition
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I think that to say this book is for wallflowers only is superior and misleading. (I don't know anyone who couldn't polish up their social act a bit.)
Inwardly I have anxiety relating to people, sometimes mild or moderate, sometimes severe, but outwardly people tell me I seem extremely friendly and at ease. I'm not a mute or stammering wallflower. And I'm finding the suggestions in this book useful and interesting.
I noticed that I was tending to monopolize conversations, partially I think as a nervous habit. I wanted to be a better listener. This book shows you how to ask the kind of questions that put people at ease and help them open up and share their most interesting stories. Also tips on body language, how to give compliments without triggering knee-jerk modest responses, and how the talk yourself through moments of self-doubt. All good, basic strategies. I feel secure knowing these techniques are based on statistical evidence and clinical study of how people react and behave.
Sometimes the sample dialogue is hockey; you have to dismiss the seemingly 50's style lingo and focus on the technique being illustrated (e.g. follow up a compliment with a related open-ended question). I think this book will help people who want to cultivate warm, comfortable relationships and feel more socially at ease and effective.
I had high expectations from this book, reading the rave reviews, however, I did not find any life altering strategies in it. The book is a very good read for the socially challenged. However, for those who are fairly functional socially, the book does offer a few good tips, but nothing outstanding.
I'd definitely buy the book if you want to improve your conversations skills as he does present some good advice.