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I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats Hardcover – August 15, 2012
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"Poems by cats? Honestly? Yes."I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats' once opened, is as evil as an evil little book can get. It went from desk to desk to desk here at The Post, clawing anyone who's had or known a feline into its silly spell and sucking precious tens of minutes into its hairy vortex.
In four cat-egories - family, work, play, and existence - Francesco Marciuliano (writer of the comic strip "Sally Forth") has given voice to cats' 'every desire, their every conflict, their every epiphany.' Also why they'll put an entire paw in your wine glass when you have a date over."
- The Denver Post
"Francesco Marciuliano has collected poems by cats into a hilarious little book. From expressing their love for dead mice to pulling over Christmas trees, cats reveal their genius and neuroses"
"perfectly captures the odd, sweet, and sometimes sassy minds of our feline companions."
"With poems like 'Who Is That On Your Lap,' 'Nudge' and 'Kneel Before Me,' this quirky book will surely induce laughter and whimsical from all who decide to delve into its poetry."
About the Author
Francesco Marciuliano is the author of Sally Forth, an internationally syndicated family comic strip that appears in nearly 800 newspapers around the world (created by Greg Howard). He was also the head writer for the highly praised PBS children's series SeeMore's Playhouse. He lives in New York City.
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Poetry and prose certain to entertain and amuse every cat lover.
Even the human ones.
The book is a small hard-cover that fits on a table without taking up a lot of space.
Easily knocked to the floor. Repeatedly.
Type is large enough for a geezer (like my person) to enjoy even in less-than-adequate light.
Cat portraits showing our furry brethren in cute and/or compromising poses illustrate the pages.
While reading the poetry I keep saying, "Just like Mystery" or "Just like Sparx" or "Just like Pogo", etc.
I enjoyed it very much and trust that everyone will.
2 dewclaws up!
So, Catzilla's comments aside, because yah, he totally wears the Emperor's hat in this house, and should we ever doubt it, he sends his sidekick, Sith Whispicus out to reinforce his demands...this is a funny book, if you've ever had a cat with a touch of the spiteful in him. Cough *Catzilla*. And mostly, I think the author gets it right. I bought this book for my daughter, but I did some reading myself when it came in today because when I had looked at the on-line preview, it made me laugh. And I always like a good laugh.
I do have to say though, my favorite cat humor book remains "A Cat's Night Before Christmas," by Beard/Jones/Boswell. It used to leave me gasping for air every time I read it, until it became my daughter's favorite book as a toddler. And we read it over, and over, and over because that's what toddler's do. And being able to quote it from memory allows me to breath when it's read, but I can still smile when thinking about it. So that's a good one to try too, and very on point if you're a cat owner. But otherwise, I thought this one was funny in a more artsy kind of way, and I know my daughter is going to love reading it as well.
This book is fall down funny even if you aren't a fan of these animal kingdom drama queens/kings.
The most giggle worthy thing about this book for my daughter is her Godson's reaction. When he stays over night with her, this is his "read this to me please" bed time book.
No matter how many times they read it, the little guy still laughs like a loon and has taken to quoting some of the lines in the book. Hearing the author's words out of the little guy always makes me think
"And that is exactly how it would sound if Tango said it!"
(Tango is a big black tom cat my daughter rescued when he was about six hours old and if Tango could write a book, this would be it. The author has thoroughly channeled Tango and probably many, many other cats in the words in this book.)
The author of "I Could Pee on This" is breaking the news to those who have been ignorant in their bliss. The cats have won. They are in charge. You don't believe it? Well, who's the one cleaning the litter box?
Francesco Marciuliano knows cats. From feline typewriter fixation to toilet paper destruction to shattered wineglasses, the man has suffered––as have we all––at the paws of cats. And for the love of the diabolical little suckers, he––as do all we cat captives––keeps coming back for more.
See "This Is My Chair" for your Cat's attitude towards property rights, "Busy, Busy" for cat sleeping habits. "I Run" reveals a cat's intense desire to appear to know what he's doing. "Tripped" and "Talk to Me" reveal your cat's devious nature and possible criminal intent. In "Kneal (sic) before Me" the true nature of Cat/human relations is revealed. "Nudge" has been my own personal experience with five cats over 60 years, so that one is absolutely dead-on right. Blush at "Man's Best Friend" because it's probably true. "Family" is very likely true––you aren't that important. Every cat is the center of his own universe. You are just a satellite. "I Lick Your Nose" is so true that I've bought thicker makeup to cover scratch scars from the cat who repositions me to suit his favored sleeping spots during the night. This is done by digging into my cheek or eye socket and pulling. When accomplished during REM sleep, I don't discover Rowdy's act of violence until I wash my face in the morning. And, of course, the title piece says it all: Your cat will dominate you at every turn.
I laughed all the way through "I Could Pee on This," often reading pertinent verses to my husband as we lay in the dark, me reading my Kindle, he drifting off to sleep. He didn't always react as I would have hoped. I'm hoping it was because he was half-asleep.
I've converted him to being a cat person. But does the dog person in him still prevail? Rowdy, Jeep, Liam, Smokey and I must get together and work on him. If forty-two years of cat domination haven't quite converted him yet, we'll have to take more drastic action....