Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work Paperback – January, 1994
Customers who viewed this item also viewed
What other items do customers buy after viewing this item?
About the Author
Matthew McKay, Ph.D., is a founding director of Haight Ashbury Psychological Services and codirector of Brief Therapy Associates in San Francisco. Dr. McKay is co-author of eleven popular books. In private practice he specializes in couples therapy as well as the treatment of anxiety and depression.
Patrick Fanning is a professional writer in the mental health field and the founder of a men's support group in northern California. He has co-authored eight self-help books.
Kim Paleg, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in private practice in San Francisco and El Sobrante, California. She is on the faculty of John F. Kennedy University. Dr. Paleg is a contributing author to the self-help classic When Anger Hurts and co-edited a widely used professional text, Focal Group Psychotherapy. She specializes in couples and family therapy and conducts workshops on parenting.
Top customer reviews
This book actually relieved me of some frustration I've subconsciously had with people who don't communicate well, as this book explains the components of good communication (and why some breakdowns in communication are so frustrating).
I have read only part of the book so far, but this author is smart!
Couple Skills is an excellent source for learning essential communication skills. If you can sidestep some erroneous theoretical explanations (e.g., behaviorist or systems theory explanations and occasional moral relativism), you can gain lifetime skills from this book. It includes realistic examples and useful exercises in each of its four sections: basic communication skills, advanced skills, managing anger and conflict, and understanding and changing what goes wrong.
You will learn to identify barriers to active listening (e.g., sparring, derailing, placating, mindreading, selective attention, rehearsing your response). You will also learn to give feedback that is immediate, honest and supportive rather than brutal (or camouflaged). You will learn how to identify and express your needs. Did your parents prohibit the expression of anger? ...or of pride? Learn how to overcome ingrained repression of your genuine feelings.
The authors emphasize "clean communication" (i.e., how to give whole messages, not half-truths or disguised messages). They cover negotiation skills including seven classic methods of compromise. The section on anger and conflict helps you identify aversive strategies such as threatening to leave, guilt-tripping, derailing the conversation, belittling or blaming. The authors offer an alternative "key attitude" to help you deal with inevitable conflicts. They cover methods of assertively responding to criticism. As stated in this excellent book, "...(A)ssertive behavior allows you to stand up for your rights, express personal likes and dislikes, accept compliments comfortably, disagree with someone openly, and say no." Couple Skills can help strengthen, improve or rescue your relationship.