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✍️ This book kicked my grits. I literally mean that. I have no desire to check the mirror and see my backside for proof, but I’m convinced that there’s a permanent book-sized imprint back there.
✍️ If I had read this before kids, I would have torn through it in 3 days, then re-read it on a loop for about two weeks until I felt I had eaten the words on a plate. But guess what, I have kids. And no silence. And I’m too tired to digest anything but fiction after they finally fall asleep, so it took me about a year to digest this one. And here’s the thing… the writing style is an ongoing conversation between the philosopher and the student. The student was much younger in wisdom and thought. He was also deliciously contrarian and occasionally combative, but he asked some really great questions and drew out the philosopher’s meaning perfectly.
✍️ Another part of the reason it took a year was because I would make it about 8 pages and then get hit with such a gut-wrenching epiphany from the philosophy that it required staring at a wall for way too long, to process. Again, hard with kids who are glued to my hips. In hindsight, I’m glad to have taken this long, because the wisdom made me work for it. I had to intentionally seek it. It wasn’t just given to me with a $10 purchase. And for that reason, this book will probably always register as one of my hardest-earned, but most favorite, mental gains.
Read it if:
1. You want to stretch your way of thinking.
2. You want the freedom of true individuality that is untethered to outward perceptions.
3. You struggle with hurt from being disliked by those you can’t win over.
4. You are looking to level up on a sense of inner peace in 2023.
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Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.Highlighted by 10,136 Kindle readers- ‘No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on.’ That you, living in the here and now, are the one who determines your own life.Highlighted by 8,217 Kindle readers
- ‘The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.’Highlighted by 5,655 Kindle readers
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Highly Recommended - The Courage to Be Disliked
Derek Kumo
I’ve seen some mixed reviews for this book. I’m half way through the book and I would like to say that it is different than a traditional reading book but I would definitely recommend. It gives different outlooks on different topics. 9/10
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Top reviews from the United States
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 6, 2023
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 31, 2023
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 27, 2023
I’ve seen some mixed reviews for this book. I’m half way through the book and I would like to say that it is different than a traditional reading book but I would definitely recommend. It gives different outlooks on different topics. 9/10
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 2, 2023
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 20, 2022
Imagine the joy of being free of any need for others to be other than they are
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 20, 2022
The first time I tried to read this, I gave up during the first chapter, finding it weird. Thankfully, a friend whose opinion I respect kept urging me to read it and telling me I would love it, so eventually I did read it, and since then have bought all forms of it and re-read it about 8 times. Every time I do, I 'get' more of it and have an amazing breakthrough in my life. The only quibble I have with the book, apart from what some of the more negative reviewers have said about the dialogue, is that I would like the authors to have given citations for each thing the Philosopher says Adler said, because I have tried finding some of this stuff in Adler's books and have often failed. But whether or not these were Adler's ideas or actually Kishimi's ideas, they are very valuable. For example, I used to feel devastated that one of my loved ones dislikes me and tends to say things to me that feel deeply wounding. Whenever that would happen, I would be overwhelmed with anguish and pain, and sometimes it would leave me feeling deeply depressed, and NOTHING would work to shift it. When I read this book, I suddenly saw that how my loved one feels about me and what they say/do is not actually my 'task' (my business), and that it is nothing for me to worry about, and that my relationship with my loved one in no way depends on those things; it is my loved one's 'task', not mine, and there is nothing wrong with them and nothing wrong with me either, we are both human beings being human, and that was it! Where there had been extreme trauma, anguish, a feeling of needing my loved one to like me and not say x or y things to me, now I feel boundless love and confidence in my loved one, and wow, MY OWN shift created a beautiful shift in my relationship with my loved one. Had I remained mired in seeing myself as a traumatised victim (BTW, everyone else in my life was of the option that that loved one really IS out to get me, and that my loved one DOES say vicious things to hurt me, and some still think that!), I would still be suffering terribly. But thanks to this incredible book, I am free of all that stuff, and can't 'unsee' what I've seen thanks to this book, and in particular, the "separation of tasks" idea. ! There is a lot more in the book than just the "separation of tasks" idea, and perhaps that idea would not have made such an impression on me without the context of the rest of the book, including the stuff about seeing everyone as a comrade and having unconditional confidence in everyone, and horizontal versus vertical relationships, and so on, but wow this book feels valuable to me. The sheer joy and aliveness I feel from no longer being gripped by feelings of needing others to be other than they are is immense! Love is such a delight to feel! I am so glad my friend kept telling me to persevere with it! HIGHLY recommended.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 20, 2022
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 11, 2023
Top reviews from other countries
Josh You ARE
Will flip your mind like a burger if you struggle with wanting the approval of others. A good burger that is...!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 3, 2018
Janine
This is the most powerful book I've read in a long time
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 11, 2019kara
Outdated psychological theory. AVOID!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on June 4, 2020
Tom Vaughan-Mountford
Inititally not a fan... but became a convert!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on September 1, 2018
