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Covenant Marriage: Building Communication and Intimacy Hardcover – September 1, 2003
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About the Author
Gary Chapman (PhD) is the author of the New York Times best-selling The Five Love Languages book and series. With more than thirty-five years of pastoring and marriage counseling experience, he travels the world presenting seminars to couples who want to improve their marriage relationship. He is host of the weekly radio program Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, which airs on more than 250 stations.
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Top Customer Reviews
Decrying the growing divorce rate among Christians, Chapman calls readers to a closer commitment to the cause of Christ. In his estimation there isn't the social stigma attached to divorce that there once was, and this is largely a result of divorce becoming culturally acceptable in the church.
Chapman suggests that communication and intimacy are essential to maintaining the sacredness of the marriage relationship, and he outlines the means to achieving them with skill and sensitivity. Identifying the types of unhealthy communication patterns and the five levels of communication, he offers readers useful material in a meaningful manner.
As Chapman cleverly points out, "The word communication is found in the dictionary between the words commotion and community." Building on that thought, he suggests to couples that community is the result of good communication while commotion is created by poor communication.
He also addresses the need for a definition of love that is scriptural rather than secular, maintaining that too many couples today focus more on being happy than being holy. Chapman explains that the secular meaning of love is a feeling, while the scriptural meaning is a commitment.Read more ›
As a new Christian, there are things that I found very difficult to understand when people who explain to me their opinion of a Christ-centered relationship and what a mature Christian is. I was so confused and felt disappointed and hopeless.
CHAPMAN'S book came to my rescue!
The chapter "Covenant Marriage" explained the concept of a Christ-centered relationship and actually gives you some pretty basic steps to build that foundation.
The chapter "Spiritual Intimacy" is probably the section of the book that meant the most to me. It explained the concepts of spiritual growth and spiritual intimacy.
--Spiritual Growth illustrated to me that I was a mature Christian, and that mature Christians want to be more like Christ. It's not that they've been going to church and reading the Bible for years. It's in their willingness to be living sacrifices to God and to be more like Christ.
--Spiritual Intimacy also answered the question that I had, "How can a newly rededicated Christian be loving, convenant relationship with someone who has been a Christian for some time?" According to Chapman, both partners don't have to be at the same level in their relationships with God; however, they have to be willing to share it with each other.
This book gave me a lot of hope for establishing a devinely blessed covenant relationship with the man God has chosen for me.
So many times, he gets close to the root of the problems we experience in our relationships, but doesn't quite go deep enough. The Bible teaches that my own sinful desires are the reason I fight and quarrell with my wife, not the pattern of communication I learned from my parents. The Bible calls damaging patterns of communication sin, not Chapman's sugar-coated term "unhealthy communication". The Bible teaches that we are each responsible for our responses, emtions, thoughts, and behaviors, not our spouse who is assaulting our self-esteem.
Chapman's use of Scriptre is almost entirely antecdotal, being used as a tool to verify his already-established ideas rather than as the foundation from which he develops his thesis.
All that being said, I believe he hit the nail on the head with his concept of the "covenant marriage" versus the "contract marriage." The covenant marriage is lived out for the good of both persons involved, with no thought for divorce, to glory of God.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
It is an excellent pre-marital book - my fiancé and I read it together - when we were dating before getting engaged - it helped us to know that our relationship was right... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
Great book. It's required reading for married couples that my husband I counsel.Published 5 months ago by rhonda g broughton
Highly recommend this book! It is foundational to my handling of my relationship with my soon to be wife and best friend.Published 8 months ago by Amazon Customer
The first 3rd of the book really hits home on what a covenant is, what a covenant marriage is supposed to look like, and then it really gets good.Published 9 months ago by K. Webb
It is a very good book that has given me lots of ideas to work on my marriage. Thank you.Published 11 months ago by Harriet