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The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse Paperback – December 6, 2017
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I consider myself far along in my healing process. However, like the author, I had to do an enormous amount of digging and researching before discovering the term “Covert Narcissist” and what that entails. For someone suffering through a discard and the relentless barrage of abuse , it was like being blindfolded on the front line of a war zone; you know you’re being attacked, but you don’t know the terrain nor do you know the type of ammo being used against you. Everything is foreign. All you know is the person attacking you appears to have hijacked the mind, body, heart, and soul of the person you thought loved and cared about you. Pain like none other.
Debbie Mirza has given us a gift by compiling everything into this book. Like she says, you will get through this and you will emerge better, stronger, and wiser... I know for a fact this is true. I cannot even begin to express the abundance of blessings that came about once I found clarity.
Even though I read this book already knowing how beautiful healing feels, I still gained so much. It helped me further refine my understanding of the dynamics between CNs and their targets, as well as knowing what I need to do for myself to prevent toxic people from entering my life again.
My only wish is that this book was available to me when I was at rock bottom, feeling isolated and alone.
Wishing you a blessed journey along your path to healing.
In all my months and years of research as I struggled to understand why I felt so crazy and terrible in my relationship, losing all sense of my identity and self-esteem, never did I find a resource that so clearly and compassionately helped me to understand what was really happening.
My eyes were wide open as I read this book from cover to cover in my first reading (and it was probably past midnight!!) I just couldn't put this down - because for years, I truly felt alone and crazy, with so much dysfunction projected onto me. And even though I had researched covert narcissism before, it wasn't until this book that I truly understood that these patterns are real, many others have experienced this, and there is a clear path to healing.
This book has been a vital resource for me, as Debbie has so clearly laid out the dynamics at play and shared a multitude of real stories and experiences from people who have gone through similar types of relationships. This is by far the best resource I've found for truly understanding the process of the relationship, traits of the cover narc, and psychology behind the experience. While I kept running into self-doubt before, now I have too much clarity to ever go back near that madness – and I'm now able to recognize these traits in other relationships in my life, and course-correct before falling down the rabbit hole.
Debbie writes with a loving, incredibly knowledgeable, and non-judgmental voice that has guided me out of the dark, through the light of understanding and into the process of finally fully healing. Will be keeping this book on hand through my own healing process, and recommending to others who have been involved with similar types of people.