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D. C. Pierson
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Crap Kingdom Hardcover – March 7, 2013

by DC Pierson (Author)
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 77 ratings
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THE CHOSEN ONE MUST BE RETRIEVED FROM EARTH

HE WILL BRING DOWN THE WALL AND RESTORE THE KINGDOM TO GLORY

HIS NAME IS TOM PARKING

With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom's fate is sealed: he's been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.

There's just one problem: The kingdom is mostly made of garbage from Earth. Okay, well, two problems: the king hates Tom. Also, the princess likes to wear fake mustaches. And being Chosen One seems to consist mainly of cleaning out rats' noses at the Royal Rat-Snottery.

So, basically, the kingdom sucks.

When Tom turns down the job of Chosen One, he thinks he's making a smart decision. But when Tom discovers he's been replaced by his best friend Kyle, who's always been cooler, more athletic, and better with girls, Tom wants Crap Kingdom back—at any cost. And the hilarity that ensues will determine the fate of the universe.
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  1. Reading age
    12 - 15 years
  2. Print length
    368 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Grade level
    7 - 9
  5. Dimensions
    6.25 x 1.25 x 9.25 inches
  6. Publisher
    Viking Books for Young Readers
  7. Publication date
    March 7, 2013
  8. ISBN-10
    067001432X
  9. ISBN-13
    978-0670014323
  10. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Gr 7-10-Tom Parking figured his life was too normal for him ever to be whisked off to an alternate world like a character in a book or movie, much as that would please him. Then his estranged father shows up in the guise of Gark and takes him, via the used-clothes donation box, to an unnamed kingdom of salvaged junk to be their Chosen One. When the teen's reception by the king is less than enthusiastic and he winds up being assigned to the Royal Rat-Snottery to prove his worth, Tom decides to return home to consider his options. He focuses on trying to win the attention of beautiful Lindsy Kopec instead of trying to be the salvation of a "crap kingdom." But when his friend Kyle takes his place as the Chosen One, wins over the king, and acquires magical powers, Tom can't help but be jealous. To add insult to injury, the soul that inhabits Tom's body whenever he visits Kyle is the brave and confident type of guy he always wished he could be. Everything comes to a head when Tom is captured by an enemy king and forced into the army that is bent on destroying the unnamed kingdom. When his friend's life is in jeopardy, Tom discovers that there is much more to him than he has ever given himself credit for. Put this one on your list of good reads for guys.-Cary Frostick, Mary Riley Styles Public Library, Falls Church, VAα(c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Review

Praise for CRAP KINGDOM by DC Pierson:

“A hilarious and surreally honest book. Crap Kingdom is anything but the first half of its title.”—Donald Glover

“Pierson’s funny, giddy anti-epic is the summer blockbuster your burnout friend never got around to writing.”—Patton Oswalt, comedian

“It’s not just an incredible fantasy book. It’s also so evocative of high school angst and joy. It really makes me wish I were a fifteen year old boy again.”—Megan Amram, staff writer, “Parks & Recreation”

“Like the hero of a fantasy novel, DC Pierson was merely an insanely gifted comic like everyone else, until he wakened to his secret destiny: to write brilliant and hilarious novels (oh, and also to lead the were-centaurs in final battle against the Ageless Narwhaldactyl, but you read about that in the news).”—John Hodgman, “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” correspondent and author of That Is All

“DC Pierson’s fantastic, fantastical, and most of all funny Crap Kingdom fits perfectly between Douglas Adams and the Harry Potter novels. And not just because of the alphabet.”—Matt Fraction, writer, Marvel’s The Mighty Thor and Invincible Iron Man comics

“To balance a world as fantastical as that of Crap Kingdom with profoundly relatable moments of pure honesty is no easy task, and DC Pierson has made it appear effortless.” —Chris Gethard, author, A Bad Idea I’m About To Do
 

"Put this one on your list of good reads for guys." —School Library Journal

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Viking Books for Young Readers (March 7, 2013)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 368 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 067001432X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0670014323
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 12 - 15 years
  • Grade level ‏ : ‎ 7 - 9
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.25 x 1.25 x 9.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 77 ratings

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D. C. Pierson

D. C. Pierson

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Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
77 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book entertaining and humorous, with lots of laughs. They describe it as a great, well-written read with an engaging storyline. The main character is relatable, and the book provides insight into the minds of high school boys. It's a touching gift for adults of all ages, with its whimsical and imaginative writing style. Customers appreciate the honesty and genuineness of the humor.

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Select to learn more
HumorReadabilityStory qualityCharacter developmentAge rangeGift valueHonestyIntelligence
27 customers mention "Humor"27 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book's humor. They find the story entertaining, with many laughs and pangs. The humor is witty and refreshing, with fun fantasy elements. The author does a good job of parodying the Hero's Journey archetype. The book is described as an engaging page-turner without sacrificing things.

"...'ve listened to as many podcasts as I have, you'll know that he's incredibly witty and hilarious and so it should be no surprise that his new novel..." Read more

"Crap Kingdom is a fun, gentle subversion of the conventional fantasy story—you know, the kind in which the hero finds himself in a mysterious land..." Read more

"...gift for wit and perspective - he goes from deadpan humor to fantastic adventure in the same page, all to the service of his extraordinary world and..." Read more

"...This does not happen though. There is a lot of crazy, fun fantasy stuff, and it is probably for the best.)..." Read more

26 customers mention "Readability"26 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book's readability. They find it well-written and a good read for teenagers. The characters are likable and relatable. Overall, readers praise the book as an enjoyable and entertaining read for all ages.

"...and whimsical, and Pierson does a great job of making Tom into a likeable and believable character who is worth rooting for, even if he messes up..." Read more

"...Crap Kingdom is a clever, worthy read bolstered by its believable protagonist...." Read more

"Crap Kingdom is a fantastic read - I'll be recommending it to my teenage nieces and nephews, as well as any fans of YA and humorous Science Fiction..." Read more

"Okay book. Interesting for sure. Did part of the pre-order, but have still yet to receive my rap. Oh well." Read more

21 customers mention "Story quality"19 positive2 negative

Customers enjoy the engaging story. They describe it as an amazing fantasy epic with an exciting conclusion. The book is described as a gentle subversion of the conventional fantasy tale, and a great introduction to the fantasy world. Readers also mention the story stands on its own as a fun comedic adventure.

"...top expressions to prove a point; instead he uses small, offhand details of a moment or an emotion to light up common life experiences from an angle..." Read more

"Okay book. Interesting for sure. Did part of the pre-order, but have still yet to receive my rap. Oh well." Read more

""Crap Kingdom" is funny, sweet and sincere...." Read more

"...my expectations and was a very entertaining, hilarious, and interesting story about the "Chosen One" Tom Parking...." Read more

7 customers mention "Character development"7 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the relatable main character.

"...and Pierson does a great job of making Tom into a likeable and believable character who is worth rooting for, even if he messes up almost every..." Read more

"...Crap Kingdom is a clever, worthy read bolstered by its believable protagonist...." Read more

"...but the real reason to keep reading is for the simple, honest character relationships...." Read more

"...its appeal and the issues the main characters grapple with are universal...." Read more

6 customers mention "Age range"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging for young people and adults. They appreciate the author's portrayal of adolescence without condescending to them. The protagonist is described as young, and the story takes place in a high school setting.

"...He paints the confusions and passions of adolescence perfectly - no heavy-handed morals, no over the top expressions to prove a point; instead he..." Read more

"...Both books are great and provide insight to the minds of high school boys (which I wish I had known back then.)..." Read more

"...The protagonist is young and the story set in a High School (I got the impression he was a bit younger than the model they chose for the cover)...." Read more

"...It's young-adult friendly but doesn't feel slight or condescending; the themes in it still felt relevant in a real way, not just a "the real magic..." Read more

5 customers mention "Gift value"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book a great gift for young adults. They appreciate the author's imaginative writing and wit. The book is described as whimsical, unique, and worth reading.

"...The story that follows is bright and whimsical, and Pierson does a great job of making Tom into a likeable and believable character who is worth..." Read more

"...Pierson is a deftly imaginative writer with an incredible gift for wit and perspective - he goes from deadpan humor to fantastic adventure in the..." Read more

"...He has a very creative imagination and an amazing gift with words...." Read more

"...It also makes a great gift for yourself!)" Read more

4 customers mention "Honesty"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the author's honesty and genuine humor. They find the characters relatable and authentic.

""Crap Kingdom" is funny, sweet and sincere...." Read more

"...Crap Kingdom has such wonderful heart and honesty that it is impossible not to get swept up in the worlds and characters, their struggles, their..." Read more

"...The inner expositions of Tom Parking felt so genuine, so real, that I had some serious flashbacks to when I was that age..." Read more

"Very honest and insightful humor. Got for my teen brother and he loved it! Glad I pre ordered, and as a plus DC is rapping my name! So worth it." Read more

4 customers mention "Intelligence"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's intelligence. They find it clever, imaginative, and funny.

"...Crap Kingdom is a clever, worthy read bolstered by its believable protagonist...." Read more

"...-- funny, engaging, edgy (as much as I hate that word), and just a smart, well-written book...." Read more

"...This book is strange, hilarious, smart, and totally out there, in a great way...." Read more

"Smart, engaging, and entertaining..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Sabrina May
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Kingdom of Junk Makes for a Great Book
    Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    DC Pierson is one of the funniest guys out there. If you've listened to as many podcasts as I have, you'll know that he's incredibly witty and hilarious and so it should be no surprise that his new novel Crap Kingdom ​is a refreshing, fun book that hides a lot of meaning and depth inside a whimsical YA package.

    Crap Kingdom tells the story of Tom Parking, a high school student in the middle of nowhere living an all too boring life. Even as a teen, Tom is having an existential crisis...he just wants to be part of something bigger than himself. He's no good at sports, and only OK in theatre, where he's trying to attract the attention of Lindsy, the hottest girl in the drama department.

    All this yearning to be part of something comes to a head when he's approached by Gark, a resident of the Kingdom of Pffftthh (or whatever name it has, it sort of varies by the speaker). As it turns out, Tom is The Chosen One of the kingdom, only there's one problem. The kingdom in question is composed primarily of, well, crap: houses are made of tattered networks of old bed sheets, bars are housed in disused (but probably not properly cleaned out) portajohns...and to top it all off, the king appears to hate Tom from the start, causing Tom to wonder if the whole Chosen One thing is all it's cracked up to be.

    The story that follows is bright and whimsical, and Pierson does a great job of making Tom into a likeable and believable character who is worth rooting for, even if he messes up almost every situation he's put into. The prose is clean and dialogue-heavy, but don't let that scare you off, since Pierson is skilled enough to propel the story forward without weighing things down with unneeded detail.

    Pierson's brevity and sharpness is great for the most part, but in the end, I sort of wish the book was longer. The ending especially sort of feels rushed along, and there's a lot of explanation and info dumping in the last third of the book that I felt could have been given more time.

    That being said, if my only complaint about the book is that it was too short for its own good, it means I enjoyed it greatly. Hopefully Pierson will return to the world of Tom Parking later on to give us more adventures in the Kingdom of Tphhhttthh (or whatever).​
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  • Sammy Swartz
    4.0 out of 5 stars A Good Book About a Crappy Kingdom
    Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Crap Kingdom is a fun, gentle subversion of the conventional fantasy story—you know, the kind in which the hero finds himself in a mysterious land and destined to stop a terrible threat. And that's what Tom Parking wants—to escape his decent but mundane life and instead be the “chosen one” of an alternate world, one in which he can be a hero with a special purpose. The funny thing, though, is that he actually gets his wish, but perhaps one should be careful what he wishes for...

    And the title sums up the rest. Tom's "kingdom" is not the usual fairy tale kind with sunny skies, glittering castles, and frolicking white unicorns. Rather, it's almost literally a junk heap, with a king who distrusts him, an indifferent populace, and a surprising lack of magic all around. Or so it seems.

    D.C. Pierson's book is an unpredictable one. The plot bounces and twists in unexpected directions, constantly pushing its befuddled protagonist into circumstances both bewildering and bizarre. Indeed, the most predictable element is Tom himself, who regularly makes poor decisions despite being an overall decent guy.

    It's all in good fun, however—Tom's reaction to his less than idyllic surroundings are probably no different than what anyone else's would be, and much of the story's humor is derived by the reader sympathizing with the character as he goes from one predicament to the next. In truth, Tom's "Crap Kingdom" is so crappy, it sometimes seems like Pierson is trying too hard to make his point just for the sake of a few more laughs. The narration of the story itself is also slightly obtrusive, sometimes over-explaining Tom's feelings and thoughts when less would have been more.

    But the book succeeds for one reason—it's hard to put down. Readers will constantly wonder what will ultimately become of Tom, hopeful he might finally attain some measure of happiness or vindication. The author’s depictions of other lands and worlds, however fleeting, are also richly imaginative and inventive. It's just a pity the supporting cast never rises beyond their one-dimensional boundaries.

    Crap Kingdom is a clever, worthy read bolstered by its believable protagonist. It lacks the sheer laughs of the funniest books out there and the epic qualities of the best fantasies, but for what it is, well, there's nothing else quite like it.
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Richard Anthony Morris
    5.0 out of 5 stars Really Enjoyed This
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 30, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Great book, recommended it to friends
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  • J. Whittingham
    4.0 out of 5 stars Great book for younger readers (and their parents... and even some folks who don't have kids)
    Reviewed in Canada on May 13, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    If you enjoy a good adventure novel, and you're a fan of the current crop of young comedians from the past few years, you'll enjoy this book. While I'm not a young adult this book was aimed at, I am a fan of the author's other work.

    He wrote an adventure novel akin to Brian Jacques Redwall series (kinda) yet it has all the comedic trappings of a good Saturday Night Live Sketch.

    DC Pierson packed his novel full of heart. I think you'll like this.
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