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Created for Connection: The "Hold Me Tight" Guide for Christian Couples (The Dr. Sue Johnson Collection, 3) Hardcover – October 4, 2016

by Kenneth Sanderfer (Author), Dr. Sue Johnson (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 705 ratings
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"Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. For God is love." - John 4:7

Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? Do you yearn to grow closer to God, and to further incorporate Him and His teachings into your marriage? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and faith. But sometimes we need a little help.

Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to bestselling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In CREATED FOR CONNECTION, Dr. Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer, a leading EFT practitioner in the Christian community, share Johnson's groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships not only between partners, but between us and God.

The message of CREATED FOR CONNECTION is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, or making grand romantic gestures. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent, and we are on the Heavenly Father, for nurturing, soothing, and protection. The way to enhance or save our relationships with each other and with God is to be open, attuned, responsive, and to reestablish safe emotional connection. Filled with Bible verses, inspiring real-life stories, and guidance, CREATED FOR CONNECTION will ensure a lifetime of love.
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  1. Print length
    336 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Little, Brown Spark
  4. Publication date
    October 4, 2016
  5. Dimensions
    6.4 x 1 x 9.55 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0316307416
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0316307413
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Sue Johnson, a recipient of the Order of Canada, is an internationally recognized leader in the field of couple interventions. A clinical psychologist and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego and a professor at the University of Ottawa, Dr. Johnson is the primary developer of emotionally focused therapy (EFT). Dr. Johnson is the author of numeous books and articles, and she has trained thousands of therapists in North America and around the world. She lives in Ottawa, Canada.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Little, Brown Spark; Revised edition (October 4, 2016)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 336 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316307416
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316307413
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.2 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.4 x 1 x 9.55 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 705 ratings

About the author

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Sue Johnson

Sue Johnson

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Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter, speaker and a leading innovator in the field of psychotherapy and adult attachment. Sue is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 35 years of peer-reviewed clinical research.

Sue has received a variety of awards acknowledging her significant contributions to the field of psychology, including the Order of Canada and the 2022 Lifetime Achievement Award from Psychotherapy Networker.

Hold Me Tight, Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (2008), written for the general public, is a self-help version of her ground-breaking research – how to enhance relationships, how to repair them and how to keep them. This best seller has sold over one million copies worldwide and has been translated into 30 languages.

Dr. Johnson’s best-known professional books include Attachment Theory in Practice: EFT with Individuals, Couples and Families (2019), A Primer for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (2022) and The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection (3rd edition, 2020),

Her most recent book - Edgar and Elouise, Sagas 1&2 – is her first book of fiction and tells the story of a group of fascinating animals who learn to discover who they are, face fear and peril and come together to fight to save their world.

Sue lives in Victoria, BC, with her husband; sue adores Argentine tango and kayaking on Canada’s lakes and seas.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
705 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book very helpful and insightful on couples relationships. They also find the characters relatable, practical, and truthful. Readers also say the book is readable and relatable to the average couple.

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ContentReadabilityCharacters
32 customers mention "Content"32 positive0 negative

Customers find the book very helpful, insightful, and a great book to help couples work through and understand each other. They also appreciate the practicality of the exercises and the way the seven conversations can play. Customers also say the book helps them communicate better and apply its suggestions.

"...This book is well-researched and yet practical, well-reasoned and yet emotionally engaging...." Read more

"meaningful and useful." Read more

"...In addition, the practicality of the exercises and way the seven conversations can play out in a relationship was extremely helpful to read and..." Read more

"This is a really great tool!!..." Read more

8 customers mention "Readability"8 positive0 negative

Customers find the book readable, relatable, and translational for non-academics. They also say it's well-reasoned, emotionally engaging, and excellently read as an audio book.

"...This book is well-researched and yet practical, well-reasoned and yet emotionally engaging...." Read more

"...First, I found this book to be easy to read, the layout and organization flows from chapter to chapter...." Read more

"The voice actor who read this book did such an amazing job interpreting and adding subtle characterization that really made the content come..." Read more

"...It is more readable and relateable to the average couple...." Read more

6 customers mention "Characters"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the characters in the book relatable, practical, and truthful. They also say it's an excellent adaptation of Emotion Focused Therapy for the Christian context.

"...is well-researched and yet practical, well-reasoned and yet emotionally engaging...." Read more

"meaningful and useful." Read more

"...Dr. Johnson also describes beautifully and graciously that it's NORMAL to seek attachment with our spouses and partners, and our responses are a..." Read more

"...If you're considering it -- do it! The real examples and stories are so relatable and helpful to see the patterns we get stuck in in our marriages." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

Jeremy
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has the potential to save your marriage.
Reviewed in the United States on May 8, 2017
Verified Purchase
I've been a practicing Christian for over thirty years. I have a degree in theology. And I had what all outside observers thought was a great marriage. Only after my marriage was close to dissolving did my wife and I seek out counseling. We chose our counselor partly because of her explanation of EFT. She recommended this book and I can say that the effects of reading this book, examining myself, and discussing it with my wife have been life altering. I only wish that this book had been available and that we had read it at the beginning of our marriage as it might have saved us from the greatest strife in our married life. This book is well-researched and yet practical, well-reasoned and yet emotionally engaging. Furthermore, as a Christ-follower the spiritual content does not feel "shoehorned" in, but instead faithfully synthesizes the age old truth of God's love and plan of redemption with proven scientific, clinical research. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
96 people found this helpful
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wwy8
5.0 out of 5 stars good book
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2023
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meaningful and useful.
One person found this helpful
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Ashley N. Fiorilli
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read!
Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2021
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I had purchased this book to seek an understanding of relationships from a faith based perspective. I am not a practicing Christian, but raised Catholic in name. First, I found this book to be easy to read, the layout and organization flows from chapter to chapter. In addition, the practicality of the exercises and way the seven conversations can play out in a relationship was extremely helpful to read and connect to. I did not find the book overtly Christian, but rather a way that relationships are presented from different sides of understanding.
6 people found this helpful
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JC in God’s Country
5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely worth it but may want printed version instead
Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2017
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This is a really great tool!! I've been to counselors who all ask the same questions without getting to the root of how 'different' people are & how those differences affect relationships. This is worth your time and money. I bought the tapes but the book would be better so you have the 'exercises' printed for you. The CD 'reads' the questions so there's no 'easy' way to answer them then share with your partner. My daughter listened to a good bit with me on a long trip & heard how she reacts/interacts with her sibling. This is so straight forward & down to the basics. It gives you ways to RECOGNIZE the dance you may be perpetuating, so you can AVOID continuing the same negative patterns. Worth it.
12 people found this helpful
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lexy37
4.0 out of 5 stars Read the entire book.
Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2019
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This book is very insightful. There are some new techniques and idea on marriage I have never heard of before. When you think about everything that’s written in this book it makes sense. Some might find it a little disheartening because it shows who is likely to get a divorce but all I will say is read the entire book. The reason for the 4 stars is because I felt like the book rambled a bit. Some info was good and some felt like just filler. I hate reading filler.
10 people found this helpful
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Jesg
5.0 out of 5 stars Save Your Relationship, Get to the Root Cause
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2023
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I highly recommend this book. I would also suggest that if you are married and need guidance, see a therapist specifically trained in the methodology referred to in this book called "Emotionally Focused Therapy." If you have been married for any time, you know you will need help at some point in your marriage; it is hard! Stay the course, read this book and find an EFT therapist.
The book itself is a good size, and the print size is decent, so you may not need to break out the readers.
3 people found this helpful
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SP
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing resource for engaged or newly married couples!
Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2023
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I utilize this in my therapy practice to support couples in better understanding themselves and their partner. The videos, workbook, and book can be used in a group or in couples work.
One person found this helpful
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S Goltl
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellently read as an audio book & superb content to help any couple grow in lasting love.
Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2021
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The voice actor who read this book did such an amazing job interpreting and adding subtle characterization that really made the content come alive.

The content of the book is the most important information and practice that any couple, Christian or not, can put into play for their marriage. This book is for anyone who wants depth and wholehearted love to grow throughout their married life.
8 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

M. R. Murray
5.0 out of 5 stars Christian version of Hold Me Tight
Reviewed in Canada on August 10, 2022
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I read Hold Me Tight first. Created for Connection is very similar. These are books aimed at restoring marriage relationships that have been going for a while but are no longer thriving or even seeming to be at an end. It won't save every marriage but it can help those that still have a desire to reconnect.
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kindleman
5.0 out of 5 stars An essential read for any married couple seeking to invest in their relationship
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 30, 2017
Verified Purchase
I was introduced to this book through attending a conference day where the co-author, Kenny Sanderfer was launching this into the UK. It recognises the value of Dr Sue Johnson's Hold Me Tight book on Emotionally Focussed Therapy (EFT) and the attachment parallels that exist with our loving Father in heaven.
I enjoyed the systematic approach, written in a very accessible style that couples can work through together. Each chapter finishes with a very practical section encouraging readers to apply these principles to their own relationship before progressing to the next chapter. The case studies used were helpful and even though this was created in the States and I am in the UK, I felt empathy with the couples and could ignore cultural differences.
Thoroughly recommended.
4 people found this helpful
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Christy Linde
5.0 out of 5 stars Really Good Marriage Resource
Reviewed in Canada on December 11, 2022
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I preferred this book to most marriage books I've read. No silly exercises or stereotypes about men and women. Just really great research based information about attachment.
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Harminder Rhami
5.0 out of 5 stars Phil's likes
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 23, 2017
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I related to almost all the problems flagged and investigated by Sue. Her solutions were on point and have unequivocally helped me to connect to my wife
2 people found this helpful
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Sam Berg
5.0 out of 5 stars Helping couples enrich their relationships
Reviewed in Canada on February 16, 2017
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An excellent resource for couples who are seeking to escape from the restricting, or conflicted patterns that have captured their relationships, through guided conversations. The book is based on the findings about attachment theory that produced Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. it is written specifically for Christian couples. (The secular version is called "Hold Me Tight".) Pastors and counsellors can usefully recommend it to couples that come to them.
3 people found this helpful
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