'Crime Doesn't Pay' is a collection of light-hearted crime themed short stories. The following short stories are included:
1) Is A KitKat A Chocolate Bar Or A Biscuit? 2) Walk Again 3) The Cashier Who Didn’t Work Saturdays 4) True Freedom 5) The Puppet Master 6) The Absence Of Fear 7) Wagon Wheels, Star Wars Memorabilia And The Nice Ham 8) Gravity 9) A Parcel For Your Neighbour 10) How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It . . . . . . . . A few words from the author: "Modern media seems to have an ever increasing tendency to tell crime stories where in the end the villain walks off into the sunset millions of pounds the richer. However, in my opinion committing criminal acts is not something that should be portrayed in a positive light because firstly, it’s irresponsible, and secondly, in the majority of cases, it’s also misleading. In real life, criminals generally end up dead, or looking over their shoulder, or in jail, or meeting some other unfortunate and undesirable end. So with this collection of short stories, I wanted to differ from the increasingly popular formula and instead tell stories where the criminals end up in a bit of a pickle. As a result, none of the criminals in the included stories walk off into the sunset millions of pounds richer. Some of them perhaps emerge more unscathed than they deserve, but none of the criminals profit from their crimes. Some of the stories are quite silly, and those stories are written under my usual pen name of Charles Fudgemuffin. However, on a couple of occasions the subject matter follows a more serious tone, so on those occasions I’ve used my more serious alternative pen name, namely… ‘Charles Futch-Moffin’ As you can tell, it took me quite a while to think of that name! Finally, this book contains some scenes of violence, but wherever violence is featured I’ve tried to make it functional rather than indulgent."