Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Cyber Infidelity: The New Seduction Paperback – May 18, 2015
|New from||Used from|
The Amazon Book Review
Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
About the Author
Marlene Wasserman - Dr Eve - is an experienced clinical sexologist and couple and sex therapist in private practice. She specialises in sexual medicine and forensic sexology and has a special interest in onco-sexology. The majority of her time is spent in her therapy room with couples - and individuals - on her couch. She teaches sexual medicine at the medical school of the University of Cape Town and regularly presents papers at international scientific meetings. She is a member of both the executive board and the Sexual Rights Committee of the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS), and a temporary adviser to the World Health Association (WHO). An award-winning writer, she has columns in many South African magazines such as Natural Medicine, Longevity, Psychologies, Sarie and Playboy. She also writes on request for many international and national magazines and newspapers, and has published in a number of academic journals. Even her bedtime reading revolves about her job: the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Her previous books include Dr Eve's Sex Book: A Guide for Young People.
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
I will never ever just send a message to any person again, how innocent I may think it is without thinking of the consequence to the loved one of a specific person.
This is so sad that people feel the need to go outside the safety net of a relationship to make them feel good about themselves. My personal opinion is if you have the need for any kind of relationship outside your marriage/relationship then the writing is on the wall, it is time to quit.
THEREFOR THERE IS NO WAY THAT INFIDELITY CAN BE SEEN AS OKAY WITHIN THE MORAL CORE OF ANY SOCIETY. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ANOTHER PERSON WHO WILL GET HURT even if the infidelity is only online and not physical, no innocent play in this game - only self love and LUST!
We first met when I conducted my second survey about online dating and online sexuality in 2006.
Recently she sent me a copy of her book, Cyber Infidelity ISBN 978-0798171182. It's my pleasure to review this book.
Cyber Infidelity is very readable, perhaps because of the topic of infidelity which usually sparks curiosity across the gender lines. It's also a good read because of the personal stories it contains, which provide deep insight into the motivations why people choose to find lovers and sexual partners online in this day and age.
The first three chapters lay a very good base for modern relationships. The Internet has transformed the way we conduct ourselves not only in business but also in the most intimate spaces of our bedrooms. As a couples therapist, Dr Eve shares insights into the rapid changes in behaviour.
Chapter 5 describes the triple A engine: affordable, anonymous, accessible. This is the pivotal factors differentiating online infidelity from offline infidelity. You can say it's the difference between cheating before the Internet and after the Internet and mobile phones became so easily accessible.
Sometimes it feels like Dr Eve is encouraging the infidelity. On page 169 she reveals a shocking statistic: over 75% of relationships that begin through an affair end in divorce. The chapter on porn habits is eye-opening. A few surprises may be learned from the porn watching habits of women, which is not commonly discussed as the stigma sees porn as the problem of (lonely) men.
The stories in this book reminds me of those I first read in My Secret Garden. They are at once confessions, revelations and sometimes sad. They show what's missing from the relationships and why the myth of “settling down” is so unsatisfactory.
The topic of infidelity raises curiosity our own personal natures. To what extent are we still living in a monogamous society with the rise of the Internet, social media and mobile phones?
One of my favourite aphorisms in this book is that "shame and blame are the twin sisters of guilt." The Ashley Madison website is where the author collected much of her first hand accounts of cyber infidelity. The customers of this website are not ashamed to share their innermost fantasies. So do you blame them for choosing to engage in cyber infidelity, which many times does not lead to an offline meeting? [After this book was published, AshleyMadison.com was hacked and some shocking facts about the female users were released.]
One of the radical facts emerging from the book, is that women are much more sexually liberated than before the rise of the Internet.
There are few surprises in in the statistics because they are all from English speaking countries. Perhaps a sequel may include comparison with China and India, which together account for probably half the Internet users in the world, and vastly different cultural norms. It would be fascinating to evaluate how the Internet has changed the sexual behaviour of these nations.