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About D.J. Shelton
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As usual, you won’t find those cliched materials—that’s what the internet’s for. Materials in this second installment are even fresher, funnier and, as usual, short and straight to the punchline.
Tom Willis, the fellow who is capable of the sublime in one minute and pure foolery in that very same minute, is back.
You also get to meet our new doctor, the one who took the hypocritical oat and likes to make a meal of everything.
There are great quotes to motivate and inspire you.
Although this is not the go-to book for aspiring clowns, you can rest assured that the contents of this book will breathe new life into your speeches, tweets, writings, etc.
This book is ideal for young adults, proper adults, and the age-is-just-a-number crew.
SNIPPETS FROM THIS BOOK
Love all, but trust only dogs.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool only than to speak and reveal the mouth odor as well.
PATIENT: I am tired of living with this bad breath. DOCTOR: In that case, hold your breath.
My psychologist says I’m not of a sound mind, but the problem is…I can’t remember muffling it.
Although mummies are from Egypt, dummies are from everywhere.
Don’t show bias: treat fools, idiots, and nincompoops equally. After all, they are all equally useless.
Once, a computer beat me at chess. Next time, I came fully prepared—with the right screwdrivers.
TOM’s FRIEND: (whining) Shipping cost has almost doubled within the last 5 years. Why? TOM: Yes, that because the universe is expanding.
Wisdom: knowing when you are right, and when others are.
Taxation: the system of keeping citizens alive and healthy enough to work and pay taxes.
What money can’t buy; enough money hasn’t been offered yet.
My family was so poor…we rarely had enough to eat, never mind renting an apartment in the slums.
TOM’S FRIEND: There’s this designer shirt that costs 1,500 dollars; it requires no washing, pressing, doesn’t get wet, and has a fantastic fragrance. TOM: And it has the money-back option in case of theft?
While some jokes get selected into halls of fame, others get elected into public offices.
When a man kisses and tells, you can be sure of one thing: he isn’t a one-minute man.
What a man can do, a woman can make him do it better.
All women are beautiful; however, many appear less beautiful with makeup.
While some are plain useless, others you should use less.
First and foremost, you won't find those cliched internet stuff. Everything here is new and original.
You get materials on INTELLIGENCE, WISDOM, BUSINESS, MONEY, GOVERNMENT, POLITICS, MARRIAGE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIP, SEX, ADVICE, MOTIVATION, SUCCESS, ALCOHOL, AND many more. Its not just humor alone, as some materials express hard facts of life.
All materials are short and straight to the punchline. No fillers and unnecessary wordiness.
Now you have the materials to spice up that boring and staid social media post, speech, write-up etc.
This book is ideal for young adults, proper adults, and the age-is-just-a-number crew.
Snippets
- The theme for next year’s April Fools’ day should be of concern to non-members. It reads “Taking it to the next level and ensuring no one is left behind.”
- No kind of condom can stop a fool whose time has come.
- Election: the time for multiple-choice questions with no correct answers.
- Haters: those who will say you are feigning intelligence even if you graduate with distinction.
- If you doze off at work, you are lazy; if your boss does the same thing, he’s only strategizing.
- Honesty may actually be the best policy but it’s never a part of government policy.
- If you can’t confuse them, then politics is not your calling.
- Walking down the aisle requires no exercise, only a good partner.
- Never underestimate the power of laziness—to do nothing.
Enjoy the first installment!