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Jeremy Adam Smith
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The Daddy Shift: How Stay-at-Home Dads, Breadwinning Moms, and Shared Parenting Are Transforming the American Family Paperback – June 1, 2010

by Jeremy A. Smith (Author)
4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 16 ratings
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A revealing look at stay-at-home fatherhood-for men, their families, and for American society
 
It's a growing phenomenon among American families: fathers who cut back on paid work to focus on raising children. But what happens when dads stay home? What do stay-at-home fathers struggle with-and what do they rejoice in? How does taking up the mother's traditional role affect a father's relationship with his partner, children, and extended family? And what does stay-at-home fatherhood mean for the larger society?

In chapters that alternate between large-scale analysis and intimate portraits of men and their families, journalist Jeremy Adam Smith traces the complications, myths, psychology, sociology, and history of a new set of social relationships with far-reaching implications. As the American economy faces its greatest crisis since the Great Depression, Smith reveals that many mothers today have the ability to support families and fathers are no longer narrowly defined by their ability to make money-they have the capacity to be caregivers as well. 

The result, Smith argues, is a startling evolutionary advance in the American family, one that will help families better survive the twenty-first century. As Smith explains, stay-at-home dads represent a logical culmination of fifty years of family change, from a time when the idea of men caring for children was literally inconceivable, to a new era when at-home dads are a small but growing part of the landscape. Their numbers and cultural importance will continue to rise-and Smith argues that they must rise, as the unstable, global, creative, technological economy makes flexible gender roles both more possible and more desirable.

But the stories of real people form the heart of this book: couples from every part of the country and every walk of life. They range from working class to affluent, and they are black, white, Asian, and Latino. We meet Chien, who came to Kansas City as a refugee from the Vietnam War and today takes care of a growing family; Kent, a midwestern dad who nursed his son through life-threatening disabilities (and Kent's wife, Misun, who has never doubted for a moment that breadwinning is the best thing she can do for her family); Ta-Nehisi, a writer in Harlem who sees involved fatherhood as "the ultimate service to black people"; Michael, a gay stay-at-home dad in Oakland who enjoys a profoundly loving and egalitarian partnership with his husband; and many others. Through their stories, we discover that as America has evolved and diversified, so has fatherhood.
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  1. Print length
    256 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Beacon Press
  4. Publication date
    June 1, 2010
  5. Dimensions
    6.02 x 0.7 x 9.03 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0807021210
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0807021217
  8. See all details
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Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
16 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides good information and food for thought. It is interesting and shows how much the author enjoyed his family. They describe it as a great read with many anecdotal details.

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3 customers mention "Information quality"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book provides good information and insights. They say it's a great read for parents looking to find balance and appreciate their families. The author draws on data from various fields of study. Overall, readers describe the book as an excellent resource for egalitarian-leaning couples.

"...Though it was interesting and clearly showed how much he enjoyed his family's choices, it felt a little out of the blue...." Read more

"...He does this by drawing on data from various fields of study (economic, religious, sociological, psychological), as well as examples of real..." Read more

"...This book fit the bill. So much good information." Read more

3 customers mention "Readability"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book readable.

"...Both my husband and I really enjoyed this book. I was thrilled to find a book that my husband would want to read too...." Read more

"Great read!" Read more

"Very good book..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Kit Fry
    5.0 out of 5 stars Nice to have Daddy weigh in on the Mommy Wars
    Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2011
    Verified Purchase
    This was such an amazing resource for egalitarian leaning couples. We don't have children yet, but we're trying to get a general sense of how we want to manage our lives around our children. It's an emotionally charged issue. Mr. Smith did an amazing job discussing such a touchy subject.

    Both my husband and I really enjoyed this book. I was thrilled to find a book that my husband would want to read too. It's hard to ask someone you love to read a bunch of books that emphasize the woman's point of view. It's incredibly disappointing that raising children is considered a woman's issue. Most men I talk to and read about want kids just as much if not more than their wives. If that's the case, women can't be the only ones sacrificing their careers and enjoying their children. I love the idea that we can both sacrifice for our children. Therefore, we can both enjoy to full benefit of our children and helping them learn and grow.

    Mr. Smith clearly researched this topic in depth. I enjoyed the discussion of historical family models as well as the many anecdotal details. The one weak point I saw in his analysis was his final recommendation on a societal scale. Though it was interesting and clearly showed how much he enjoyed his family's choices, it felt a little out of the blue. The book as a whole seemed mostly focused on the fluidity of raising children and how rigid roles are more a hindrance for childcare. But, in the end, he recommended a rigid social model in which the parent who carries the baby to term takes a year off for intimate infant care and the other parent starts to fill in more after that when the first returns to work.

    We as a society, should be able to come up with a model that allows for life balance, where the job doesn't suffer for the benefit of family, vice versa, and parents can have a fulfilling life all around.

    In conclusion, great book, great discussion. Very rare viewpoint these days on parenting, but a very necessary one.
    3 people found this helpful
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  • M. Schneider
    5.0 out of 5 stars Finally, someone who gets it.
    Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2009
    Verified Purchase
    With his latest book, The Daddy Shift, Jeremy Adam Smith sets out to explore the "movement of fatherhood from solely breadwinning to both breadwinning and caregiving." He does this by drawing on data from various fields of study (economic, religious, sociological, psychological), as well as examples of real families with "reverse traditional" caregiving/breadwinning models. This mix makes the book very readable, and also provides food-for-thought to draw on as each of our families find our own way.

    Certainly we see the shift that Smith describes within our at-home Dads group, but I also see a shift for my dad friends who work full time outside the home. Most fathers I know are very involved with their families and are proactive home cooks, laundry washers and folders, dishwashers, etc. I see many Dads at pick-up and drop-off at my son's pre-school. Dads organize playdates. Dads make doctor's appointments. It seems to me that no aspect of family life is the exclusive domain of one parent over the other. Smith's research points to a gender convergence, "an ever increasing similarity in how men and women live and what they want from their lives."

    Smith's research also helps to debunk the many myths associated with dads as caregivers. Though my decision has always felt natural and reasonable, like many stay-at-home dads, I have felt the little jabs coming from the outside world--the lady on the street that asked, "Where's Mommy? Baby needs his Mommy" or the preacher that claims stay-at-home dads are lazy and going to hell because we don't provide for our family, or the legislator from Missouri that excludes stay-at-home fathers from legislation because "Mothers are natural nurturers. Fathers are not. It goes back to the hunter and gatherers type." Smith addresses each of these myths and many others to conclude that "caregiving dads are ordinary guys of many cultures and educational levels who have a range of motivations for taking care of kids."

    The Daddy Shift is an excellent read for all parents looking to find balance and truly enjoy and appreciate their families. Smith asserts that the successful twenty-first-century family needs "to prize time with children and to feel grateful for each other's contributions and sacrifices, whatever they may be." Cheers to that . . .
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Cynthia Leigh Stone Unger
    5.0 out of 5 stars The Shift is on!
    Reviewed in the United States on September 1, 2010
    Verified Purchase
    Many of us know what the reconfiguration of our families looks like from the inside--the changing of roles, the redefining of fatherhood and motherhood, the joys and the frustrations of trying to make our relationships work according to our personal templates, rather than one-size-fits-all traditional models.

    "The Daddy Shift" provides a multi-dimensional view of the evolution of families, for current or prospective fathers and mothers, for academics interested in people--rather than just statistics--for anyone trying to better understand the changes in our most personal context: how we take care of our children.

    The Shift is on! Welcome it or fear it, it's crucial that we understand it. "The Daddy Shift" opens the doors and windows of the American home and invites us to explore.

    Donald N.S. Unger, author of "Men Can: The Changing Image & Reality of Fatherhood in America."
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very good book
    Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    Bought as a gift. Read a book about this subject 25 years ago and wanted a book with updated information. This book fit the bill. So much good information.
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
    Reviewed in the United States on July 26, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Great read!
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  • Deborah G.
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
    Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    Perfect! Exactly as described and what I ordered!
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