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The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self Paperback – May 3, 2005
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“Powerful mind-medicine.” (Martha Beck, O, The Oprah Magazine)
“This spirit-lifting book leaves the reader braver, wiser and laughing. Lerner’s advice is the best you will find.” (Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction)
“A flat-out life-changing book.” (Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York)
About the Author
Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.
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Top Customer Reviews
Lerner uses her experiences, patients' experiences, and other people's experiences - a valuable way to teach what fear is as it has many meanings and situations that bring it on. She doesn't throw, "Do this..." out there or make claims you'll get past your fear in one day. Instead, she shares the stories of several patients who had to deal with a challenge over a period of time.
Lerner covers rejection, anxiety, change, the workplace, looks, and when things fall apart. When it comes to addressing fear, only one thing is guaranteed - one solution does not fit all. What helped Anne Morrow Lindbergh cope with the loss of her infant son won't necessarily work for someone else.
The message is that we all face fear in spite of our education, knowledge, courage, or any other characteristic that supposedly makes a person fearless. When we accept fear as a natural occurrence in our lives, we learn to deal with it better than if we didn't accept that.
Some who see a book classified as psychology or self-help run away. It's understandable as such books can be too sugary sweet, too philosophical, full of annoying affirmations, or full of exercises. This one has none of these characteristics. Heck, it makes you laugh. It doesn't even mention OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and it has a drop of panic attacks, but not from someone who is dealing with panic / anxiety disorder. It's about the fear all humans experience, not just those with an illness.
As a result of this book, I walk away with a better understanding of fear and its cousins, shame and anxiety. I'm not cured of anything. Instead I have gained insight into this strong emotion and should have a better handle on it the next time I dance with it.
The Dance of Fear has none of the big words that Lerner learned in medical school. Instead of quoting complex theories, she uses meaningful quotes you may have come across. The outcome is a book that reads like a friend wrote it and who happens to be knowledgeable on this topic.
An honest book that does not promise to heal you overnight by reading it.
Dr. Lerner doesn't write trite self-help hand books, the questions she asks & the answers people give her set the scene for her articulate insights. Take time to read THE DANCE OF FEAR because it's about what these emotions are, how we behave because of them, what harm happens when we don't know what's driving us, & how we react to events, great & small, that have us frozen in the headlights or hiding away from life.