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Dance in the Sun: Being the Authentic you Paperback – February 28, 2013
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‘DANCE IN THE SUN is about getting started on the journey to living exactly as God created us all to be, our authentic selves. It addresses the ways in which this journey gets constantly interrupted by our habits, beliefs, and conditioning and the struggles in our lives that cloud our view so that we never catch a glimpse of our true selves. This book will show you ways to get on the path to uncovering your heart’s desires, instead of what you have been taught is realistic.’
Monique wisely develops her message in the order of her divisions f her book: Strategies to Get Through It All; How We Get Shaped (The Women in My Life); The Lives We Live Are the Sum of Our Choices; Happiness Lies Within; Attitude Isn’t Everything… It’s Just 90% of Everything; Quantity vs. Quality of Life Everything I Know about Men; Cursing the Blue Sky; It Ain’t What You do, It’s What You Think; The Problem with Fighting Over Scraps Is, Sooner or Later You’re Going to End Up Hungry; Yes Sir, Only the Best for Me— You Will Never Achieve More Than Your Own Expectations; The Road to Nowhere is Paved with the Best of Intentions; The Good Dog; The Power of Choice; You Will Have to Be New to Do New; Procrastination Hesitation = Stagnation (P + H = S); When the Going Gets Tough... You Learn to Become Tougher; and Fall First.
Now flesh out these bits of sage and warmly humorous divisions and the result is a book that is not only full of wisdom but is delightfully entertaining as well. Looking for a teacher ladies? Her she is! Grady Harp, February 16
You could look at it as the worst thing that could have happened to you, and fall directly into a “Why me?” state of mind, and simply spiral downward from there. OR you could look at it as a transition into something else, for the better.
We can end up entire in a sort of confused fog, our lives resembling the voyage of a fallen log in a large lake, living a path sketched out by whatever hits us in the water then arriving at the end of our life’s stream only to realize that we failed to live full out. In the 1980’s as a little girl she remembers hearing Cyndi Lauper’s hit song “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” The song had an energy that was positively contagious. Her aunt, who was a teenager at the time, would dance around the house with her hair-brush microphone like Cyndi in the video. Never one to be left out of a party, she would grab the back of her shirt and dance through the house with her. The lyrics (several made up): “Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun.”
The phrase “walk in the sun” symbolizes fun, freedom, and the confidence to be you no matter what. These lyrics were the inspiration for the title of the book. Cyndi says she wants to walk in the sun, but the song makes the author want to dance in the sun.
Most people are on a merry-go-round called “The Same.” You think the same thoughts, perform the same activities, entertain the same feelings, BUT desperately want something better to happen; you must face yourself in the mirror and decide from this day forward that you are going to live life fully awake and with purpose.
What is happiness? Each of us has a particular level of happiness, regardless of what happens in our life, good and bad. The reason, supposedly, is that happiness is a matter of genetics. Let’s just say, coming from a family background of alcoholism and drug abuse leaves you are less than enthused about your own ability to be happy or for your life to be joy-filled. It was impossible for the author to recall a time where she had been more than content but it was quite easy to recall times that she had been less than content. As a teenager, she thought that if once she was able to accomplish some of her goals, her level of happiness or joy would grow. Instead, she found that the events in her life had little to do with the way she felt. She seemed to have had a joy ceiling.
The author regarded the time in her life when she was feeling stuck, and less than content. Each time she felt a downward tilt in emotions, she never asked “What do I feel in my heart?” or “What do I feel called to do with my life? Instead of a conscious decision to be joy-filled in her life, she was looking outside for answers that could only be answered on the inside. The author inspires us to take a hard look at how we are living, and guides us to take responsibility for our living experiences. This means working to change a lot of habits, beliefs, and conditioning that have been with us our entire life.
Keep what’s great, and release the less than great. We need to forever take on the path of continuous growth. The author hopes this book stirs a person to take action in their life right now, to realize that what you get in this one life, is determined by your mind-set. It has nothing to do with who you are or where you come from? Question yourself consistently. Stay in the game of life to win. A super coach, she is.
It has everything to do with your self image, how YOU think of you. You will never be any happier than you deeply believe you can be. You will never be any more successful than you believe yourself to be. You have the power to create beliefs that will empower you to get everything you want out of life. Life has no favourites – your deepest beliefs about yourself will show up in your life every time.
If you believe yourself to be powerless and lost, you will find justifications to prove yourself correct. You will connect with those that feel as you do, which reinforces your beliefs. You will unknowingly create experiences in your life that add to negative living. The opposite is completely true as well. If you feel positive about your life and where your life is going, you will connect with like-minded people. You will see a world full of enormous possibilities of what you can accomplish. We all get handed a mixed bag of great potential qualities.
Change the vision of you in your head before you can create the new vision. Clearly focus in on what you don’t want or like, and actively go after what you truly desire. The law of attraction states in simplest form that “Like attracts like.” There are no distinctions made between “do and don’t,” there is only “do.” For example, “I don’t want to become a young mother” becomes “I want to be a young mother.”
The key is to truly become happy with where you stand presently. Decide to enjoy where you are, right where you are standing. This decision will fill you with joy in the present and build a positive foundation for your future. It Is what It Is. Life is like the economy: you have upcycles and down-cycles throughout the years. Some people’s down-cycles last longer because they focus on being down. Therefore, even when they are up, they believe they are still down. Negativity will only pull you deeper into despair.
Why complain about “seed, soil, and sunshine?” You take what you have been blessed with (seed, soil, and sunshine), and grow something spectacular. Go do more with your piece of earth than you ever imagined possible. Dance in the sunshine.
The author gives many principles and examples on how to actively change for the better:
• Recognize and learn to appreciate the countless treasures in your life, and your entire world will open up to more. Affirm your goals and visions: your affirmations will both inspire and propel you to bring your goals into reality.
• There are people in your life that should be removed. You know exactly who they are without thinking too hard. These are the people that bring no value to your life. They suck precious positive energy. It takes energy to fight off their negativity, and this is a waste of valuable resources.
• Lucky is as lucky does: the real definition of “lucky” is- grand opportunities appear out of persistent effort taken. The more you do, the luckier you seem to be. Decide what you want and strive for it. Good things rarely simply fall out of the sky. What appears to be luck is usually a direct result of consistent action and positive expectations.
• Happiness first, goals second: You must be happy in your own skin right now or any goal you fulfil will leave you feeling that it is a mere completion of a task. Regardless of difficulty, it will never provide overall wellbeing.
• You simply can’t fix an inside problem from the outside. Attempting to fix externally what has to be dealt with internally, will not make happiness.
• Discover a calling, a passion for that what makes you happy. It becomes your energy source. You can’t find happiness because it’s not lost. It is inside of us all hiding under our emotional covers.
• The one certainty we have on this life journey of ours is change. Nothing stays the same. So, why do we fight against change? We fight change out of the fear of what comes next. We fear making the wrong decisions. Remove road-block against a productive, purpose-filled lives.
• Make a commitment to become a lifelong student using simply what is already inside you. Now you have to deal with courage, change, challenge and commitment. We are all naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. We simply need to become aware of our strengths. Use same skills
used to thrive instead of survive.
• Some of us only pray in extremely stressful moments. Do realize that prayer and connection to our higher power can do so much more than help you survive a particular moment.
• The way we see the world and the decisions we make determine the way we live and they are largely based on your belief-structure. Unless we make a consistent effort to change our belief structures, we will forever be imprisoned by self-limiting assumptions.
• Depending on how you visualize your life: You may be depriving yourself of the opportunity to carve out the life that you truly desire. It is important to notice that the author always speaks of a value centred life or creating the life of dreams and getting you closer to the life that you truly desire.
• We as a collective must break free of this ‘quantity over quality’ approach to living. You may feel more connected to other busy people in your circle. Just remember in the end, we cherish the experiences we enjoyed rather than the number of tasks that we completed.
• Decide right now to be someone that takes charge of life. Someone that places natural, God-given resources where they most matter, instead of squandering these gifts in busyness. “Constantly looking outside, our lives can resemble a hamster running on a wheel in a cage.” That hamster may be moving fifty miles an hour, with no forward progress.
• To let expectations of others influence your feelings, is allowing what’s outside of you to dictate what should be important to you. Uncovering your values and life from that space will almost guarantee a life fulfilled.
• Knowing your values create naturally beneficial holistic goals. To be successful, we must move from a ‘quantity over quality’ to a ‘quality over quantity’ position. Our activities must be consistent with what’s important to us. Otherwise, the activity should be changed or stopped entirely.
• A great advantage of being coached is that you become conscious of your agenda. A coach’s focus is squarely on you. In that space, the agenda is created and directed by you. For women, a coaching session may be the only time they solely focus on themselves. Once you begin to place yourself first, you will inevitably have more to give those that you love.
• You want to offer from the overflow of life’s cup. Place yourself at the top of your list to uncover your real values. So no one else’s values should get mixed in with yours. It’s the placing ourselves last, and the mixing, that creates confusion and delusion.
• Remember what you most want (clarity) is already inside of you. There’s nothing to discover, only to uncover. There are different ways to uncover your values.
As a Success Coach, the author appreciates the spiritual and psychological value of an organized, planned future. Negative thinking creates clutter in your brain and spirit, which lead to you taking the wrong actions. Positive focus means working toward what you want, rather than dwelling on what you don’t want or don’t have. This creates a propelling energy that will serve as motivation for you. Ask yourself often, “What can I do right now to positively affect this situation?” Energy goes where focus flows. Develop a concrete belief that you are indeed the master of your faith. You cannot stop the rain from falling when it does, but you can decide to be your own umbrella.
“Power of Self-Talk,” is an absolute requirement in any successful endeavour. It is the power of self-talk alone that has the strength to change the subconscious mind. We are all a sum of parts developed over a period of years. The building of your subconscious mind begins the very moment you open your eyes for the first time as an infant.
A motivational lecture alone will not change a thought process in a few hours that has taken a lifetime to build. Thoughts that have penetrated deep enough to reach the subconscious must be removed through consistent conscious effort. Your brain is trained to reject any idea outside of its belief structure. A person will believe all notions that comply with their beliefs regardless of rationality. On the other hand, you must have unwavering “determination” to succeed.
Strong determination creates persistence to work until your goal is fulfilled. Some authors describe determination as being “hungry” to accomplish your goals. How you develop lasting determination? it’s pretty easy to motivate yourself to act for a few weeks, even a year. How do you move on your dreams everyday with the realities of life all around you?
So here’s what creates “lasting determination:” real expectations. Let’s examine why unwavering expectations are essential to lasting determination. All the actions we take are based on an expectation of some improved return. You work a job with the expectation of getting paid for your labour. No matter how much you love that job, you would take your talents somewhere else if you weren’t getting a check.
Becoming your potential is usually going to require some hard work. Hard work dictates discomfort. Sheer willpower uses up too much energy. You ultimately will get worn out and give up, or when you reach your goal, it hardly seems worth the effort. You must develop the perspective that the silver lining in all the hard work will develop qualities in this process you never imagined or even considered you had. The quality of life you will experience pursuing your greatness, will far outweigh any momentary discomfort.
The beauty of sunshine is available to everyone. Sometimes, we just have to make our own happiness. You can consciously choose to be happy. It was Viktor E. Frankl that said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
A worthy plan and strategy to restructure your life. The text could benefit if bold letters are given to key headings. Sifting the contents and facilitating the layout like a text book, will make it more user friendly.
28 February 2016