Brene Brown has been saying helpful things about leadership for years. She has a legion of fans. So, it was amazing that I hadn't read a single one of her books. I had The Gifts of Imperfection, on my to-read list, but it kept slipping down in the face of other enthusiasms.
Then, I saw a quote from her most recent book, Dare to Lead. It said: "I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential."
That was enough for me, I picked up a copy of Dare to Lead. When I blogged that I was reading the book, a funny thing happened. Usually, I get one or two tweets and emails from people who had strong opinions about the book. This time, I received more tweets and emails than usual. Most said something like, "I'd like to hear what you think about this book."
I contacted a couple of the people who had reached out to me and asked them what their concern was. It turned out that they were puzzled by the book. They liked it a lot, but they weren't quite sure it was a good book or really all that helpful. I try to address those concerns in this review.
A book you think is great may not even be helpful to someone else. A book that was great for you when you were 25 might not be great for you later in life.
I told you that so I could tell you this. Dare to Lead was an excellent book for me. It brought together many things that I had been reading and thinking about over the last year. I found a lot of good stuff and, other than a nit to pick here and there, I didn't find any bad stuff. That’s my personal summary judgement. Now for some details to address the questions of the people who emailed me.
Most business books have a short statement somewhere near the front of the book where the author tells us what he or she wants the book to accomplish. I couldn't find one in Dare to Lead. Dare to Lead is more like a collection of things than a coherent book laying out a coherent system of thought. It’s two books in one.
About two thirds of the book is devoted to the basics. Brene Brown calls it Part One and titles it "Rumbling with Vulnerability."
"Rumbling?" Yep. I think “rumbling” is the author's term for a conversation where you thrash things out. I don’t know this for sure, because she never shares a succinct definition of “rumbling.” It’s in-group language. You read the book or take a class and learn the language. Then you use it to communicate with others who know the language. It’s like a secret handshake that only group members know. That can be good for branding. It’s not good for understanding, though, because there are no specific definitions to fall back on.
In any case, the "Rumbling with Vulnerability" part of the book has five sections.
* The Moment and The Myths
* The Call to Courage
* The Armory
* Shame and Empathy
* Curiosity and Grounded
There are three more parts to the book. Part Two is "Living Into Our Values." Part Three is "Braving Trust." "Braving" here is an acronym, not a form of the word "brave." Part Four is "Learning to Rise." “Rise” is more insider language. I couldn't find a place where she explicitly defines it. "She talks about it and gives you an example or two and figures you'll get it.
I found many good things in the book. I think you will, too. There are ideas you can use and tactics you can master, even if you uncouple them from Dr. Brown's insider language.
A big problem with the book is that it isn't a coherent system. It's a collection of things. Many of the things are good, but they're not connected in any logical way, they’re mixed together.
That may be good or bad for you. If you like teasing stuff out and learning from descriptions and examples, no problem. But if you prefer a tight system with clear definitions and chains of reason, you will be frustrated.
Another issue is the way Dr. Brown treats courage. For her, courage is a value. In fact, she says that on page 52. When she talks about values in the book, she lists courage as a value. Then, she goes on to talk about how you need courage for all these other things.
I agree that you need courage. Especially if you're someone responsible for the performance of a group, there are things you must do that require courage. You must talk to people about unacceptable performance or behavior. That takes courage. You need courage to take unpopular stands. You will have to do hard things for the good of the group, like firing someone you like but who isn't performing. You need courage to do many of the things that Brene Brown suggests you do in the book.
So, what's the problem? The problem is courage is not a value, it's a virtue. That's how the ancient philosophers like Socrates, Medieval theologians like Thomas Aquinas, and more recent thinkers like David Brooks and Maya Angelou understand courage. Ms. Angelou sums it up best.
"I am convinced that courage is the most important of all the virtues. Because without courage, you cannot practice any other virtue consistently. You can be kind for a while; you can be generous for a while; you can be just for a while, or merciful for a while, even loving for a while. But it is only with courage that you can be persistently and insistently kind and generous and fair."
Bottom Line
Dare To Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts by Brene Brown covers a lot of ground and it has a lot of good stuff in it. It was a great book for me because it brought a lot of things together without imposing a real system on them.
If you’re already a fan of Brene Brown and read her books, you will probably like this one. She repeats parts of earlier books sometimes with changes that grow out of her research. That may be okay with you, or it may not.
If you've already read something Brene Brown wrote and you didn't like it, you won't like this book either.
Give this book a pass if you're looking for a tightly reasoned system. Dare to Lead is a loosely coupled collection of ideas and suggestions.
Pass on Dare to Lead if in-group language makes you crazy.
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Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.Highlighted by 16,980 Kindle readers- I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.Highlighted by 15,569 Kindle readers
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From the Publisher
Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
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| Atlas of the Heart | Rising Strong | Braving the Wilderness | The Gifts of Imperfection: 10th Anniversary Edition | |
| BrenéBrown writes, “If we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and be stewards of the stories that we hear. This is the framework for meaningful connection.” | Living a brave life is not always easy: We are, inevitably, going to stumble and fall. It is the rise from falling that Brown takes as her subject in Rising Strong. | A timely and important book that challenges everything we think we know about cultivating true belonging in our communities, organizations, and culture. | In hardcover for the first time, this tenth-anniversary edition of the game-changing bookfeatures a new foreword and brand-new tools to make the work your own. |
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My entire team was asked to read this book over the course of the summer to learn how to have tough conversations and be vulnerable. Everyone, including our executives and managers, were asked to read the book and reflect weekly in small group sessions. In a sense, this was nice because now everyone speaks the same language of the book and saying things like "let's rumble" has meaning. However, I haven't actually seen it being used as the starter for a serious conversation.I starting reading this book with some reservations. I've read many leadership books and taken many classes on the topic over the course of my career. Most of them promote the same leadership philosophies, but worded a bit differently. I wasn't sure that I would learn anything new, but I read it anyways and went into it with an open mind.I just finished the book a few days ago and I can't honestly say that I learned anything new. There were a few passages that resonated with me because I had been through those experiences before, as someone on the receiving end of gaslighting or shaming behavior. I've been on the giving end too, unfortunately, but this book doesn't provide very practical examples for getting away from that behavior. She essentially says that there are less harsh ways to convey "honest" feedback that aren't so hurtful and to think more carefully about what you're saying. Recognize your own emotions instead of putting the blame on someone else. Easy to say, difficult to do.The examples that she gives are too perfect in the sense that she acknowledges a challenge she faced, but would have a conversation about it and everything would be resolved. I would have preferred if she showed more vulnerability by also discussing when she followed all the principles and things didn't work out, because humans are unpredictable even if you do everything by the book. It's also too easy to fall back into old habits. Brene mentions a direct report who was upset with her because she kept showing up late to 1-on-1 meetings or rescheduling due to client meetings, which made the employee feel like not a priority. This was resolved by pushing the 1-on-1 back 15 minutes, and all was right in the world again. Whereas in my mind (and experience), I just lost 15 minutes of time with my boss and if a client needed to meet during my 1-on-1 time, I’m sure I’d still be deprioritized.Overall, I'd say this book is pretty average when it comes to leadership books. I thought there were too many lists and bullet points within the book, which breaks the flow and makes it difficult to stay engaged. The principles and lists may be good for someone early in career or for people who haven't been through a plethora of leadership training.
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