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Date Your Wife Paperback – June 30, 2012

4.4 out of 5 stars 172 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


“Finally, here is a book that will not make men feel guilty.”
Gary Chapman, author, The Five Love Languages

“For several years after retiring as a player in the NFL, I 'kept my helmet on', as my wife, Kim, would say. I only saw what I wanted to see and only heard what I wanted to hear about all that she was dealing with as the mother of our seven kids. Finally, I took the helmet off and learned how to really hear and see her. Had I only had this book ten years ago, we could have saved countless disagreements and discussions! It's a must for husbands who long to raise the communication and intimacy levels in their marriage.”
Mike Singletary, NFL Hall of Fame Linebacker

“Whether you’ve been married a few days or 50 years, Date Your Wife is well worth the read. Justin Buzzard shows us the first step to loving your wife isn’t to try harder—it’s to be empowered by the gospel. Date Your Wife gives you biblical advice and practical tips that will transform your marriage.”
Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family

“Finally here is a book to put in a man’s hands that doesn’t tell him ten things to do to meet his wife’s needs. Instead, Date Your Wife gives men a whole new paradigm for marriage: a paradigm of grace, freeing men to approach life and their wife in a whole new way. Once men understand this, everything changes.”
Paul David Tripp, President, Paul Tripp Ministries; author, What Did You Expect?

“This book is for every man who wants a lifelong romance with his wife. Surely that is God’s good will. It’s why we fully expect God’s blessing to be on this book. Date Your Wife could be how your romance is renewed for keeps.”
Ray and Jani Ortlund, Renewal Ministries

“Passionate. Personal. Practical. Poignant. Priceless. Thank you, Justin Buzzard, for reminding us of the passion and intentionality with which we pursued our wives while dating. Why should keeping our marriage covenant be any less passionate and intentional?”
James MacDonald, Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel, Rolling Meadows, Illinois; author, Vertical Church

“I want every man I know to read this book. Date Your Wife has the power to emancipate men and liberate marriages.”
Mark Batterson, Lead Pastor, National Community Church, Washington, DC; author, Wild Goose Chase and Soulprint

“In this book, Justin has done wives a great service. After being pursued by a husband who’s promised to love them, many wives have found that their husbands are now busy pursuing other things—from the NFL to corporate business plans—and that his interests really lie elsewhere. Justin offers the practical help and encouragement that men need to live out the depth of the vows they’ve made. He does all of this in the milieu of God’s grace to us through Jesus Christ. So thankful for Justin and how the Lord will use this book in many lives!”
Elyse M. Fitzpatrick, counselor; speaker; author, Found in Him

“For a young, married man like myself, this is a much needed reminder! Date Your Wife encourages me to man up, trust Jesus, and love my wife well. I encourage all husbands to go grab a copy.”
Trip Lee, hip-hop artist; author, The Good Life

“Don’t you dare think Date Your Wife is a ‘been there, done that’ book. It’s revealing, eye opening, and inspiring. It’s fresh. I am certain Date Your Wife will positively alter thousands of couple’s futures. As a husband for 38 years, I applaud Justin Buzzard’s work and I would put it in the hands of every man I could!”
Wayne Cordeiro, Senior Pastor, New Hope Christian Fellowship, Honolulu, Hawaii

“I need a book like this! I’m often in fits and starts trying to regularly date my wife, so I’m glad the Lord has given Justin Buzzard the vision and insight to write Date Your Wife for strugglers like me!”
Thabiti M. AnyabwilePastor, Anacostia River Church, Washington, D. C.; author, What Is a Healthy Church Member?

“Men, we desperately need this book, and our wives desperately need us to read it. This isn’t just a book about marriage, it’s a book about being a man who loves the gospel, lives the gospel, and leads his wife and children with the gospel. Married or single, young or old—if you’re a man—get this book, read this book, and then get a copy for every man you know.”
Burk Parsons, Copastor, Saint Andrew’s Chapel, Sanford, Florida; Editor, Tabletalk magazine

“I am thrilled about this book for several reasons, first of all, my brother, Justin, thoroughly gets the gospel of God’s grace, and it decorates every page of this book. Second, he’s intentional about loving his wife well, and, therefore, we need Justin’s tribe to increase exponentially. Third, his book is so incredibly practical. He’s left me without excuse! Last, Justin’s writing, heart, and wisdom make me so glad to know that Jesus is the spouse I always wanted, and that, by his grace, I can love my wife as he loves me. This book, like my brother, rocks!”
Scotty Smith, Teacher in Residence, West End Community Church, Nashville, Tennessee

“I am a big fan of Justin Buzzard and this book. I champion any call for men to step out of passivity and dominate the things that matter most—Date Your Wife beckons me as a man to do just that. The primacy of being a great husband is undeniable in Scripture and I appreciate this gospel-centered, practical, and powerful resource to help us men step up in the most noble of all roles. I pray God uses Date Your Wife to call up a generation of men who are first and foremost great husbands. I can think of no greater gift to our children, our churches, and our cities than men whose wives are pursued well and have marriages that flourish and go the distance.”
John Wiley Bryson, Co-Founder and Teaching Pastor, Fellowship Memphis, Memphis, Tennessee; Leadership Coach, Fellowship Associates

“Otis Redding sang ‘Try a little tenderness’ and some husbands want to—but don’t know how. Justin Buzzard gives sound theological and practical advice. If more husbands learn to date their wives and, through God’s grace, truly love them, many marriages will be saved.”
Marvin Olasky, Editor in Chief, World News Group

“Justin reveals a gift for combining challenge with encouragement. In Date Your Wife, he manages to propose provocative and practical ideas without making me feel like a marriage dunce. So, I hereby confer to Justin the title of ‘Professor of Creative Marriage.’ May his students learn well!”
Greg Spencer, Professor of Communication Studies, Westmont College; author, Awakening the Quieter Virtues

About the Author

Justin Buzzard (MDiv, Fuller Theological Seminary) is founder and lead pastor of Garden City Church in Silicon Valley. Buzzard is the author of Date Your Wife, writes about culture and the church at JustinBuzzard.net, speaks widely, and is part of the Acts 29 Church Planting Network. He resides in Silicon Valley with his wife, Taylor, and their three young sons.


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Crossway; 1 edition (June 30, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1433531356
  • ISBN-13: 978-1433531354
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.4 x 7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (172 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #119,020 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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By Tim Challies TOP 1000 REVIEWER on January 2, 2013
Format: Paperback
There is always a hot market for books on marriage, even among men. Every husband is aware of his inadequacies and every husband is genuinely eager to find solutions, especially if the solutions are simple and step-by-step (just like laying laminate flooring or changing oil). Writing a good and biblical book on marriage--now there is a challenge. Few have done it with excellence. Stepping into the fray is Justin Buzzard with his new book Date Your Wife. It's a great title, a good idea, and a helpful imperative that is, unfortunately, substantially flawed.

The book's greatest strength is drawn straight from its title: Buzzard wants men to build dating into their marriage; he wants men to continue to romance their wives throughout marriage. Any man who reads this book will come away with a greater desire to pursue his wife and greater conviction of the inherent goodness of doing so. The book's foremost application is valid and good, but there is quite a lot of weakness along the way.

The book is fueled by one core conviction: If you want to change a marriage, change the man. Looking first at the sexual relationship and then widening the scope to all of marriage Buzzard says this: "Your wife isn't the problem. You're the problem. I'm the problem. Men are the problem. If you want to change a marriage, change the man. If you want to change your marriage, you must first see that you are the main problem in your marriage." He goes on: "You are the husband. You are the man. And God has given the man the ability to be the best thing or the worst thing that ever happened to a marriage. Before you can be the best thing that ever happened to your marriage, you need to see that you have always been the worst thing that happened to your marriage.
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Format: Paperback Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
The author, Justin Buzzard, has written a wonderful, concise book about one of the most important topics of our age. With a divorce rate of around 50% and the majority of the children in Europe and the North America being raised in single parent homes, this is a book that husbands and men that desire to be married need to read.

One caveat up front, this is a book by a Christian minister that is primarily aimed at a Christian male audience. If the thought of Christ and Christians makes your blood boil then you will not enjoy this book. If you are at least neutral towards Christianity then you will find this to be a helpful and well written resource.

In Date Your Wife, Pastor Buzzard describes how to keep the flames of love alive in a marriage, and how to rekindle them if they have died down.

In the very first portion of the book he writes, "men if your marriage fails, you are responsible," and that sets the tone for the entire book.

The book is divided into the good, the bad, and the new.

The good describes God's plan for marriage and the Biblical underpinnings of matrimony. It was designed to be good and the most wonderful thing in a man's life. One keep point is that men were designed to work and be responsible, and that is the role in marriage that Pastor Buzzard lays out.

In the bad, the author lays out how things go wrong. Men essentially become lazy in protecting their homes. They stop pursuing their wives. Men stop dating and making their relationships fun and exciting for their wives.

The point in the middle section of the book is a critical one. Men if a marriage fails it is your fault.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I just finished 'Date Your Wife' on the plane this morning and found it encouraging, refreshing, challenging, and practical all at the same time. Justin Buzzard goes boldly go where most pastors never go - into the heart and soul of a MAN. I wish I had read this book the first year of my marriage.

It's a quick read but packed with wisdom, wit, and a biblical worldview, with rich cultural analysis as well. The section on power was especially insightful for me. Buzzard writes with an approachable but unapologetic style that is both refreshing and compelling.

I found myself pulled into the book and quickly catching a new vision for being a biblically-based MAN with purpose and soul that is faithfully and passionately pursuing God and my bride and then modeling that pursuit to my kids. I will be buying a lot more copies of this book to give to my friends. I rarely write reviews but this powerful new book will deeply impact lives so I wanted to give it two thumbs up.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book is worth the few hours it takes to read and ALL husbands should invest the time. I consider my marriage with my bride to be solid. But as we both admit, it is so easy to get complacent and comfortable in the normal routines of a busy life, with 3 kids, etc. etc. So reading this book has rocked my world and just made me realize how much more I can romance and date my wife every day as the husband. To recklessly pursue her always. But the best part of this book is that it is NOT a self-help, list-based book on how to have or get a better marriage. It is gospel-centered, Jesus focused and relays this message as the absolute and only starting point to breathing life into any and every marriage. As husbands, we are called to initiate, love, pursue, reconcile, protect, serve, etc. our wives and allow God to be the one who transforms our marriage. I love my wife!!!

Read this book...your wife will thank you for it whether she knows you read it or not.
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