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Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game Paperback – August 25, 2015

by Jon Birger (Author)

106 customer reviews

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It’s not that he’s just not that into you—it’s that there aren’t enough of him. And the numbers prove it. Using a combination of demographics, statistics, game theory, and number-crunching, Date-onomics tells what every single, college-educated, heterosexual, looking-for-a-partner woman needs to know: The “man deficit” is real. It’s a fascinating, if sobering read, with two critical takeaways: One, it’s not you. Two, knowledge is power, so here’s what to do about it.

The shortage of college-educated men is not just a big-city phenomenon frustrating women in New York and L.A. Among young college grads, there are four eligible women for every three men nationwide. This unequal ratio explains not only why it’s so hard to find a date, but a host of social issues, from the college hookup culture to the reason Salt Lake City is becoming the breast implant capital of America. Then there’s the math that says that a woman’s good looks can keep men from approaching her—particularly if they feel the odds aren’t in their favor.

Fortunately, there are also solutions: what college to attend (any with strong sciences or math), where to hang out (in New York, try a fireman’s bar), where to live (Colorado, Seattle, “Man” Jose), and why never to shy away from giving an ultimatum.

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Editorial Reviews

From Kirkus Reviews

“The author…provides fascinating evidence to show how and why dating and mating culture in America has changed in the 21st century.”
―Kirkus Review

Review

"Think Freakonomics and Moneyball if you run across Date-onomics, a by-the-numbers book on dating that argues advice-givers serving up tips for women on how to a find a man have it all wrong."
—Associated Press

"Birger offers a compelling argument backed by plentiful data... Recommended, especially for singles and those who advise them."
—Library Journal

“A fascinating look at romance and what’s going on with the mating rituals of homo sapiens today. This book will surprise and enlighten you.”
—AJ Jacobs, New York Times bestselling author of The Year of Living Biblically and Drop Dead Healthy

“Date-onomics is the Moneyball of dating. College-educated women wanting to improve their odds in today’s wacky marriage ‘market’ will be dog-earing its pages.”
—Jean Chatzky, NBC’s Today show financial editor and New York Times bestselling author

“Birger offers a compelling answer to the question, ‘Where are all the good guys?’ I would have said ‘Argentina.’ But now I’m thinking of heading to Aspen. Read Date-onomicsand find out why.”
—Kristin Newman, author of What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding

“The modern single woman will share this book with her well-meaning friends and family who just can’t understand why she’s still single—it’s not her, it’s the date-onomics!”
—Melanie Notkin, author of Savvy Auntie and Otherhood

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Product details

Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company (August 25, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 076118208X
ISBN-13: 978-0761182085
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 106 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #277,199 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #129 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Demography
- #490 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Dating
- #13001 in Books > Parenting & Relationships

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Must-Read if Single and Dating - Amazing!

April 9, 2018

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

OMG, where was this when I was single? Read as a curious fluke on a delayed (and diverted) flight from hell and - wow - just wow.

If you're single, READ THIS. Now. He really does explain everything - those dating woes? Not you. The guys being the way they are? Not them. It's all gender ratios in your city. That's it.

One of those books you'll reference in conversation for decades to come.

3 people found this helpful4 people found this helpful

... dating book you’ll ever need — because science knows best! I devoured it

February 1, 2018

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Date-onomics is the only dating book you’ll ever need — because science knows best! I devoured it, loved it, and would assign it at NYU if I were still teaching there. It's as enlightening as it is liberating and empowering, especially for women (though both sexes will find it fascinating). It doesn't just identify a ratio problem, it helps you to understand how that lopsided ratio transforms behavior, politics, economics, and every other aspect of culture -- and how you can make more educated life decisions as a result. I haven't highlighted this much in a long time. Should also be mandatory reading for college administrators and parents sending kids to college, as well as any women moving to places with lopsided ratios, like NYC.

2 people found this helpful3 people found this helpful

Hans U. Widmaier

Provocative, Perceptive, and above all Useful

September 15, 2015

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book provides an objective, fact-based analysis of (straight) dating among (mostly) college-educated Americans of various ages. The insights are both startling and extremely illuminating. The author, Jon Birger, is primarily interested in conveying information, rather than giving advice. And that is perhaps the book's greatest virtue: it remains resolutely empirical throughout and never descends into the kind of cheap dating advice and empty psychobabble that's characteristic of the genre of dating books. Birger's mission, it seems to me, is to empower people with facts so they can then make intelligent and well-informed decisions on a wide range of issues relating to sexual choices, dating, and marriage. In that, he succeeds spectacularly. I can't imagine a more useful approach to this fraught topic.

20 people found this helpful21 people found this helpful

Funny and interesting facts

August 10, 2018

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Just wanted to keep reading it until finished. I was working in the dating industry before so really got what the auther meant. It was so true( mostly, women in Silicon Valley still have some hard time). But it will definitely give you some insight. My one is: if I have a boy in the future, I’ll let him start school later, so he could get to know a lot of younger girls! Lol

One person found this helpful

My friend is in a happy relationship now but she had a drink with me ...

August 16, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

My friend is in a happy relationship now but she had a drink with me the other day and told me that she's "still seeing a psychologist as a result of the anxiety she had from dating in NY." I know that anxiety very well and this book for me has been a great coping mechanism in a sense that I am better able to understand a lot of the behaviors I've encountered by men in the city. Ladies --- there is simply no better book about dating in New York. And it's written by an economist which is the irony and also best part about it. It won't be able to fix your scars, but knowledge is power and it provided me a great deal of comfort to know that mating is not necessarily the mystical process we believe it to be and that a lot of it is reliant upon the market you are in. Jon does a really great job of describing this to us with facts as well as colorful anecdotes (many of which will hit very close to home in a way where you'll be like "omg, this finally makes sense!"). I grew up in Israel where the sex ratio favored women (more men) and it's AMAZING the way behaviors adjust and change in accordance to the numbers. In NY, the men are more passive (because they can afford that luxury). In Israel they are more aggressive (because can't afford the luxury of being passive). The scarce resource calls the sexual shots hence the amount of casual sex in Manhattan. I experienced living in locations where the sex ratio is skewed in both directions, and this book has really opened my eyes. Such a fun read. I've bought a copy for all my friends. If you're into the sociological and anthropological elements of dating, you will not be able to put this down!!

6 people found this helpful7 people found this helpful

Interesting, But Not Book Material...

September 29, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Short and sweet...my review. Same as this book. It could easily been an article in a magazine. The basic idea has been expanded and inflated into a book. Still interesting though.

7 people found this helpful8 people found this helpful

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