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Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart Paperback – February 19, 2008
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"In a world immersed in match.com, J-Date, and a host of other attempts at liaisons, Dr. Paulette Sherman brings us a book which addresses intimacy and passion, as well as self-knowledge. It's a wonderful resource for therapists who continue to meet clients with a genuine desire for relationships with a future. Our writer is a woman of integrity and insight. Her words are those of a mature writer; her spirit of enthusiasm and hope not just enlighten, but envision a better future for the reader. This writer and her fine book have my enthusiastic endorsement." -- Bruce Lackie, Ph.D., director of The Black Rock Center for Psychotrauma
"Dr. Sherman has produced an extremely well written, lucid manual that really goes beyond dating, to living in general. Using her own experiences and those of her clients, she has produced a roadmap that is easy to follow and which, if followed, should lead to a great deal of satisfaction in finding people with whom to be happy. She has translated important concepts from her experience as a therapist and as a dating coach into everyday language that is easy to understand." -- Dr. Robert Myers, ABPP, psychologist and professor of psychology at the Institute of Graduate Clinical Psychology at Widener University
"This book distills the wisdom of a hundred years of psychology to its most essential and practical basics: Understand your past to better control your dating future. Its techniques are clear, sensible, and revealing." -- Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D., author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers
About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
Think of it in this way. If you went out on a date with someone and they were mopey, grumpy and self-bashing all evening long, you probably wouldn't want to go on a second date with them, right? If on the other hand they were happy, fun to talk with and friendly to people around them, you would be quite interested in a second date. This is true for pretty much everybody. We want to be with people who are happy. So in order to succeed on dates (and in life!!) we need to be happy. That doesn't mean we have to find someone TO make us happy. Rather, we need to BE happy and then we will find someone who will enjoy sharing that happy life.
So Paulette's book goes step by step about how to build up your self esteem and escape from bad habits which have made you unhappy in the past. She suggests you start journalling, to keep track of your progress and watch out for problems. Programming that you've built up for years can be very hard to change - but it CAN be done. If your family teased you for your entire childhood about being heavy, it can be very hard to accept yourself as an adult. It really can be done though.
She brings up many good points that are important to take to heart. For example, if you rant to your friends all the time that men are all losers, you probably will end up dating losers. It's the way the human brain works. Bikers tell you all the time that if you stare at a wall as you go around the curve, focusing on it and worrying about hitting it, you are likely to hit it.Read more ›
If you are willing to do the sometimes difficult work of introspection, I think this book can help you achieve your dreams and if you don't meet that special someone, it will at least uplift you and give you clarity around who you are as a person.
A good read. Well worthwhile.
Many dating books tell you how to act or dress or what to do to get the guy or gal--in essence, to be something different from who you are. Dr. Sherman points out that if you want someone who really wants to be with you, you're better off truly being yourself, rather than try to act like someone else!
Often times we look at dates as a win/lose or sucess/failure activity. She suggests instead approaching each date as something to learn from, something to grow from. What a great idea! Then dating can be a series of sucesses, rather than a string of failures until we finally get to the "right" person.
She also suggests learning to truly appreciate yourself. If we're not loving ourselves, how can we realistically expect someone else to love us?
I'm probably not doing her book justice with the above snippets, but her book is truly full of little gems. It's more than just a book, however. Intersperced throughout the pages are useful exercises to help the reader apply the principles and discover how they work for them. So it's a workbook, too!
I showed the book to my (single) roommate--she got so caught up in it that she didn't give it back all evening. The book inspired me to take a chance and I went out on a series of dates with someone I might not have otherwise. And because of what I learned through reading it, I didn't get caught up in focusing soley on "is this the one" and I had a wonderful time, growing in self-confidence in the process.
It's a friendly, fun, and truly helpful book for anyone looking for a better approach to dating. Enjoy!
As we grow, we form unconscious ideas of who we are, of who people are in general, and of how we understand the world, We use these patterns to pick mates without even knowing what the patterns really are.
Dr. Sherman helps you identify the patterns, change them when they are counterproductive, and combine these new productive patterns with the practical strategies that will make healthy relationships bloom. BRAVO!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I've been reading the book and completing the excercises. The author does target women as her audience, and may be addressing their emotional issues more so than a man's. Read morePublished on September 6, 2012 by Ronald H. Saluga
This book is great for those who are trying to find that special someone but keep attracting the wrong person. Dr. Read morePublished on May 21, 2008 by satisfied reader
I had recently returned to the scary world of dating - this book was just
what I needed to get off the couch and into the world again!