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Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love Paperback – October 1, 2012

4.7 out of 5 stars 42 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Make the Best Dating Decisions Possible

When children are involved, dating gets complicated. Ron Deal gives single parents--as well as those who date them--expert advice on

• How to determine if you and the kids are really ready for dating, deal with kids' fears, and recognize red lights in a relationship.
• What to expect when dating a single parent and when to start spending time with the kids.
• Things to consider before getting engaged and how to prepare for life as a stepfamily.

Let Ron Deal guide you through the emotional ups and downs of dating with kids. Includes a free online relationship checkup and questions for individual or group study.

"This book will help you see beyond the tingly feelings to determine if a dating partner will help you form a healthy family."
--from the foreword by Dr. Dennis Rainey, President, FamilyLife

"In Dating and the Single Parent, Ron Deal points out the common pitfalls and gives wise counsel in how to navigate the waters. I highly recommend it."
--Gary Chapman, PhD, author, The Five Love Languages

"You can trust Ron Deal to shoot straight with you about kids, dating, and finding lasting love."
--Dr. Kevin Leman, New York Times bestselling author of Have a New Kid by Friday

About the Author

Ron is a marriage and family author, speaker, and therapist. He is Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and Director of Blended Family Ministries for FamilyLife. Ron is author of The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepdad, and Dating and the Single Pa
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Bethany House Publishers; 9.1.2012 edition (October 1, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0764206974
  • ISBN-13: 978-0764206979
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #70,343 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Sonya Jeffords on November 28, 2012
Format: Paperback
Words cannot express how helpful this book has been to me. This book has been truly liberating.

For one, the author has dispelled all my fears (which were acting as enormous pressure) that if I don't remarry, and remarry soon, my children would be lacking and worse off. Yes, an intact family is best for children, but as the author takes time to explain in this book, a blended family is not an intact family, and bringing in a step-parent is quite complicated and generally more likely to have negative effects than positive effects on the children. As the author of this book so wonderfully demonstrates, children raised in a single parent household are very likely to do better than children raised with a step-parent, emphasizing the fact that if remarriage is to be done, it absolutely must be done right. I will readily admit that the idea of "my kids desperately need a good male role model in their lives" has been one of the primary driving factors behind my desire to start dating again, even though I've known for some time that I'm really not emotionally ready to date yet, as much as I would like to be. Removing the pressure of doing this for my kids removes a lot of pressure, and frees me up to think more clearly on the topic.

Secondly, the author has affirmed my approach toward building romantic relationships, which is to be quite direct in defining the relationship on a regular basis. Truly, this was awkward (and unnecessary because there should have been nothing yet to define) in high school, but I'm glad to have my approach affirmed, because I want none of the confusion and wondering of "where do I stand?" on a nearly constant basis (and for me, it is constant).
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Format: Paperback
I'm buying this book, and that says a lot. I usually get my books from the library so I don't buy books unless they are GOOD enough that I want to buy it for my personal library. I don't loan these books. I may recommend them. I may even buy another copy and gift it to someone. But I don't loan them. They are just that good.

When I picked up this book (from the library) I didn't know it was a Christian book. I just wanted to find out what I "didn't" know. So I checked it out. Although I did wonder if it was a Christian book when I saw that the foreword was by Dennis Rainey but I wasn't sure until I started reading it. When I found out it was written from a Christian perspective I was pleasantly surprised.

When I began to read the book, just a few chapters in, I was shocked by how much I hadn't considered. I often wished I could write in and highlight the book. Never before have I wanted to underline that much! That's when I knew I had to buy it.

Several times I so wanted single parents, Christian or not, to read this book because I truly believe this was a book for all single parents. So I'm glad that another person who isn't "religious" thought well of the book. Personally I'm glad it was not promoted as a Christian book because it is beneficial for All involved.

I pray this book is read by millions and tops the charts of several best sellers lists!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The only "negative" thing I have to say about this book is I wish I had read it before I got remarried. This book is definitely a must-read for ANYONE considering remarriage where children are involved - either your own or someone else's. My husband had 3 children from 2 other women when we married. It has been an extremely difficult journey & this book outlined each of the challenges we have faced personally. I actually had to read this book for a graduate school course, and I think every person who knows someone who is considering remarriage when children are involved needs to tell them about this book. I also had some concerns that were addressed in this book that validated my concerns in a couple of areas. My husband would not receive the information from me, but he was receptive to the information coming from a book. I highly recommend all of Deal's books & his website to all single parents. Excellent book!
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Format: Paperback
This book is not a surface-feel-good book, but one that makes you look at yourself realistically. You can't just skim it; every page is important. He quotes a single parent who said, "we had no idea what we were getting into"... after reading THIS book, that won't be you!

The author is up front and in your face with real issues -- he asks you first of all to want God's blessing in whatever you do. He asks questions so you can avoid repeating past mistakes and discern if you are ready to be serious again.

At the end of each chapter he lists discussion questions that hammer home the information, and help you to realistically look at yourself and those you are with.

The author explains the difference between "coupleness" and "familyness" which will give the reader a lot to consider. Coupleness does not equal familyness and should be kept in the forefront of every meeting and activity.

He will probably shock a lot of people about 'soul-mate' but what he says hits the mark; he is right-on and will save people a lot of heart-ache if they listen.

I liked how he promotes involving God and His ways in every area of one's life i.e. a spiritually determined purpose in dating, everyone can learn from. Here is one of the thoughts he puts forth:

"In what way is your purpose in dating blocking God's purpose for you in dating?"

Like I said, he asks thought-provoking and self-examining questions only you can answer.

One piece of wisdom I'll share here is when he says "marry someone, not as a replacement parent, but because you love them and believe they will help you raise your kids in the Lord.
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