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Deal with It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain, and Life as a gURL Paperback – September 1, 1999

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 168 ratings

Deal With It! offers a whole new approach for dealing with your life as a girl. It's a resource to help you learn about, laugh about, and figure out the stuff you go through on your way through life. It won't tell you what to do, because you'll need to decide that for yourself. But whether you're wondering about your body, your feelings or your changing relationships with the people around you, this book provides accurate information and outlines your options. Hilarious illustrations point out the humor in even the sorriest situations. And with hundreds of excerpts from real-girl conversations on the gURL.com website, you can see for real that whatever you're going through, you're not alone.

This book is for anyone who needs to know what it means to be a girl -- from those on the edge of their teens to those who are way past them but still reeling from the trauma.

Amazon.com Review

The birds and bees have never been so hip, thanks to Esther Drill, Heather McDonald, and Rebecca Odes, creators of gURL.com and authors of Deal with It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain and Life as a gURL. As their Web site blossomed in popularity, the gURLs noticed that today's teens have the same questions about sex, love, and growing up that they had as teens. "Hearing what they had to say convinced us that there was a need for a new kind of book about being a girl, one that's smart, funny, approachable, and tuned in to the things girls really want to know." With chapters such as "Boobs," "What's Up Down There," "To Do It or Not to Do It," and "Those Sucky Emotions," the gURLs have got everything covered--with the frankness, humor, and style frustratingly absent from the majority of similarly themed books. All topics are fair game: zit remedies; a dazzling array of hair removal techniques; masturbation methods; sexual positions and orientations; what to do if you are raped; how to deal with anger, depression, and anxiety; the physical effects of different drugs; how to get along with friends and family; and more. In addition to a cooler-than-cool, color-drenched layout and loads of detailed info, Deal with It includes a ton of questions, comments, and personal advice from teenage girls who frequent gURL.com. Reading page after page of these earnest, confused, and curious young voices drives home the need for a book like Deal with It and makes clear that the women of gURL.com have met that challenge with resounding success. (Ages 12 and older) --Brangien Davis

From Publishers Weekly

Following a recent trend, Web gurus Drill, McDonald and Odes have translated their highly popular Web site, gURL.com, into print, taking a holistic approach to those perennial teen concerns: changing bodies, emotions, desires and lives. In a frank, nonjudgmental tone, they discuss topics and details that more conservative guides might skip: lesbianism and bisexuality receive respectful and thorough treatment that is remarkably well-integrated into the broader discussion of sex in this happily nonphallocentric book; the section on illegal drugs is evenhanded; and the discussion of treatments of eating disorders, other mental illnesses and suicide are honest and informative. Each section ends with a comprehensive list of topical resources: Web sites, hot lines, books and organizations. In addition to the authors' valuable commentary, a good deal of the text is made up of outtakes from girls' online dialogues culled from the site, revealing a thoughtful and supportive cybercommunity able to respond unflinchingly to the many issues covered. Young readers, liberal parents and educators will welcome the authors' openness and lack of boosterism . Full-color illustrations throughout. Agent, Julie Merberg, Roundtable Press, Inc.; 5-city author tour. (Sept.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

This sumptuously colorful and solid puberty guide for girls gets high marks for comprehensiveness and attention to detail about physical development, sex, emotions, drugs, family, friends, relationships, school, spirituality, politics and activism, "being yourself," and money. The main messages concern accepting diversity in bodies and lifestyles, taking responsibility, and finding help when you need it. The diversity message is enhanced with numerous "we've been there" quotes posted to the gURL.com web site, while the "finding help" message is enhanced by many internal cross references and extensive referrals to books, organizations, and other web sites. Lesbian and bisexuality issues are well covered, and interesting sections address less common topics like how ideals of beauty have varied across history and how the "perfect look" in every fashion photo is carefully and artificially crafted by the full-time work of a dozen people. The authors founded and now run gURL.com, which has won several awards. Highly recommended for all public libraries.AMartha Cornog, Philadelphia
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Straight information, lots of humor, and a beautiful layout characterize this fine addition to the self-knowledge/self-help genre. Gurl.com, a Web site for young women, contains frank information on physical and emotional development, sexuality, and life in general. Deal with It! provides a print form of selections from the site. Brilliantly colored pages with zippy graphics offer information in digestible servings. There are also many teen comments taken from the Web site, with a picture of an open mouth to indicate their origin. The comments are perfect for browsing and beg to be read aloud. The attitude is definitely antidrug, and the authors strongly encourage teens to postpose sexual activity. But there is some strong language and terminology related to sex, and synonyms and profanity are plainly listed. The ultimate effect is to de-eroticize as well as demystify the language, but individuals looking for a way to object to this frank, funny, and sure-to-be-popular book might find it here. An excellent resource list follows each section. Debbie Carton

Review

Francesca Lia Block, author of The Weetzie Bat books and Girl Goddess #9 Deal With It where have you been all my life? This gift-of-a-book helps girls deal with a huge range of issues, in a smart, honest, informative, colorful, comforting and loving way.

The New Yorker As frank as Madeleine Albright's assessment of Saddam Hussein and as saucy as women's room graffiti in a college dorm...

Shirley Manson, lead singer of Garbage I wish this book could have been found in a bookstore as I was struggling to come to terms with approaching adulthood. A great manual to consult whenever you need confirmation that you're not half as weird and scary as your friends and family think you are.

About the Author

gURL.com, launched in 1996, is the leading website for teenage girls. It has been featured in Seventeen, YM, Elle, Harper's Bazaar, The New Yorker and the New York Times, among other publications.

The founders received the New York Magazine Award in 1997 for their work on gURL.com. The gURL website received a 1998 webby Award.

Heather McDonald is a full-time writer, performer, and story producer on E! Channel’s top rated show—Chelsea Lately, and stars in the show’s spin-off, After Lately. Heather has been married to Peter for twelve years, with whom she has two sons and a stepdaughter. They reside in the San Fernando Valley.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter One

Boobs get a lot of attention. There's a certain amount of biological motivation for this -- breasts are the first source of human nourishment -- but that's only the beginning.

The stress on boobs in our society creates a lot of stress for girls who are growing them. You don't have much control over your breast development and the outcome can be unpredictable.

When boobs start popping up left and right, they can be hard to ignore. Whatever your specific situation, shape, or size, your boobs are bound to be an important part of your female identity.

Growing Them

Breasts start to grow in response to an increase in the hormone estrogen, which causes the growth of mammary glands (which produce milk) and also signals cushions of fat to grow and surround those glands. Much of the volume of the breast comes from these cushions of fat. Also inside the breast is a network of milk ducts connected to the milk-producing glands, which are ready to send milk out of the nipple when it comes time to nurse a baby.

There are roughly five stages of breast development. Everyone goes through them at her own rate. Some girls may go through the whole process in a couple of months and can actually seem to bypass whole stages; others can take almost 10 years to get from the beginning to the (relatively) final product.

Stage I The first stage usually starts between ages 8 and 11 (although it can come earlier or later). During this stage, there are no visible signs of development. Inside the body, though, puberty is beginning. The ovaries enlarge and estrogen begins to circulate.

Stage 2 The first visible thing that happens is the nipple and the areola (the skin around the nipple) get larger and maybe a bit darker. They may also feel tender or ache a little. It can hurt to sleep on your stomach or wear certain clothes.

Next, milk ducts and fat tissue form a little, round, dense, disklike mound under each nipple and areola, making them stick out. One disk might form before the other, even as much as a year earlier. These disks can often feel like lumps.

Stage 3 Fat deposits now start to fill out the area around the nipple and areola. At this stage, many girls' breasts appear pointy. The amount of fat and where it grows vary and will determine the size and shape of your breasts. This is the time when many girls think about wearing a bra.

Stage 4 Not everyone goes through Stage 4. If you do, you will observe that your nipple and areola begin to form a separate mound at the end of your breast and get bigger and more pronounced. Some women keep this characteristic permanently. The breasts continue to fill out and grow larger. (If you didn't get your period during stage 3, you probably will now.)

Stage 5 By the time you reach stage 5, what you see could be what you get. Breast size can change during a woman's adult life, however. Generally the causes of this are hormonal (birth control pills, pregnancy) or changes in body weight, although there are a significant number of women whose breasts continue to change throughout their twenties.

Shapes and Sizes

Breasts come in all shapes and sizes. There is no one normal boob profile. And nobody notices the idiosyncrasies of your boobs like you do. The timing of your boob development makes no difference in what they end up looking like. Breasts also go through cyclical changes with the menstrual cycle. They tendto get a little fuller and more sensitive leading up to the period and staypretty te der until the period is over. After the period they settle down to their less-full form.

Asymmetry

Your whole body (eyes, ears, etc.) is asymmetrical and chances are that there are some subtle differences between your two breasts, too. In some people it's enough to be noticeable, but almost never dramatically so. In rare instances, a right and left boob may vary a cup size or more. Very occasionally a girl will wear a prosthesis or even have surgery to even out a severe difference in size. Generally, though, it's one of those things that is a lot less noticeable to everyone else in the world than to the bearer of the boobs in question.

Nipples

Nipples also come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Some nipples are particularly sensitive to outside stimuli.

Changing What You've Got

There's a long historical tradition of women making more or less of their bustlines than nature provides.

Breast enhancers

"Breast enhancers," which aren't that different from the actual implants inserted during surgery, are worn on the outside of the body and are available for purchase in the backs of magazines and at drugstores, promising every girl the silhouette she has always wanted. These products are obviously safer and cheaper than actual implants, but they don't change the way you look without a bra on.

Breast implants

First of all, no one NEEDS breast implants. Women may feel that their life enjoyment is being diminished by insufficient cup size. But that's kind of a limited way of thinking -- do you really want to give that much power to two lumps of fat sitting on your chest?

The decision of whether to alter your body for a cosmetic reason is a serious and personal one. Some women have had terrible health problems as a result of getting breast implants, although scientifically the jury is still out on whether they are dangerous. In any event, it's a good idea to wait a while before taking such a drastic step. Most reputable plastic surgeons won't even consider breast implants on a woman younger than 18. The way people feel about their bodies changes over time, and making a big, unnatural, permanent change now might be something you could later regret. Besides, you might still be growing.

Having bigger boobs won't change the kind of person you are, and if it does make more boys notice you, it might not be for the reason you want them to.

Breast reduction

Some women are physically challenged by the large size of their breasts. These problems can include chronic neck and back pain; poor posture; rashes, pain, and discomfort during exercise; and bra straps that actually cut grooves in their shoulders. Some of these women opt for breast reduction surgery to have some of the breast tissue removed. Women who have had breast reduction are said to be about the happiest plastic surgery patients afterward. Reduction surgery can leave significant scarring, usually in an inverted T-shape from the nipple to the underside of the breast, and may affect breast feeding later.

Boobs in society

There are plenty of reasons people like breasts, and focus on them accordingly. Some trace it back to infant oral fixations. Others think it may be the round shapes that are pleasing to the senses. Breasts are the most visible sexual organs. While other sexual organs are developing at the same time, they are (generally) kept under wraps and are not able to be seen. Breasts, on the other hand, make themselves known. Boobs certainly get their fair share of media attention, and the recent explosion of public breast enlargements makes them more obvious than ever. Historically, though, a variety of sizes and shapes of breasts have been considered ideal. Not all cultures share the American fixation on boobs, either. Many European countries present a more integrated view of the female body, and women appear topless on public beaches and in advertisements. On a more personal level, different people are attracted to different breast attributes (just as some people may have a preference for a certain eye color).

But many people seem to think that breasts in general are pretty great, whatever the particulars may be.

Lumps and bumps

The vast majority of lumps and bumps in the breast, at any age, are harmless. Breast budding in the early stages of breast development can often feel like a lump. At certain times of the month, especially before their periods, some women develop cysts -- small fluid-containing sacs. They are usually found near the armpits, can hurt a little, and disappear within a few days.

Show your doctor any lump that does not disappear within a few days; it is probably nothing to worry about. Breast cancer is obviously a scary and serious disease, which affects one in eight women over the course of a lifetime. But it is extremely, extremely rare in teenagers.

Fibrocystic breasts

Many girls and women develop lumpiness in their breasts due to hormonal changes during their menstrual cycle. Women with fibrocystic breasts have denser fibrous material in between the fatty deposits in their breasts, so it's more likely to become tangled up into knots. Fibrocystic lumps are not cancerous, although the first time you notice them, you may want to have them checked out.

All women experience some such cystic changes: lumpiness, tenderness, swelling. Eventually, you should get to know your own patterns of lumpiness.

Breast pain

Most girls experience some occasional breast pain -- most often before a period or during the early stages of breast development. If the pain is really plaguing you, happens at irregular times not linked to your cycle, or is much more pronounced in one breast, it's worth mentioning to your doctor, who may suggest cutting down on caffeine or taking vitamin E supplements and primrose oil.

Discharge or bleeding

Some discharge from the nipple can be brought on by hormonal fluctuations, but both discharge and bleeding that lasts for more than a week should be checked out with a doctor.

Chafed nipples

Nipples stick out and can rub against your clothes and sometimes get irritated, dry and crack, and even bleed a bit. Wearing soft fabrics or natural fibers can help. It can also help to put ointment, lanolin preparations, or even flavor -- free lip balm on irritated areas.

Inverted nipples

Some nipples do not stick out; instead, they appear to stick in (inverted nipples). This is not uncommon. Some nipples may go from "innie...


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Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Gallery Books; Original edition (September 1, 1999)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0671041576
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0671041571
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 14 years and up
  • Grade level ‏ : ‎ 10 - 12
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.75 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 7.75 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 168 ratings

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