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on August 13, 2014
"Dear Cary: My Life with Cary Grant" (2011) Dyan Cannon reveals the stunning life altering details of her relationship/marriage and subsequent divorce; to Cary Grant (1904-1986) known as an incredibly handsome "debonair screen icon".

Although Grant was 33 years older then Cannon, her youth, beauty, personality, and worldly inexperience likely appealed to him. They were an absolutely stunning couple. They married (at Grants insistence) in a quickie Las Vegas wedding ceremony in 1965. The birth of their beautiful baby daughter Jennifer Diane followed on February 26, 1966. Grant retired from acting shortly after, and they resided at his California mansion.

The "fairytale" marriage was not as happy as it appeared to be publically. Behind closed doors Grant was moody, his remoteness led to unbearably long silences. Cannon could not please him no matter how hard she tried, he either controlled or criticized nearly everything about her and/or their life together. He picked untold fights, deliberately creating drama engineered to create the necessary distance he (seemed) to need. Cannon sought therapy, also advice from Grant's spiritual advisor, who simply said (after Cannon told her about the problems she and Grant were having): "That doesn't sound like love". Grant would also pressure Cannon use/try LSD, (he was an established user) for "improvement" to be a better "enlightened" wife. Not surprisingly, this didn't bridge the distance between them. Cannon refused to take LSD during her pregnancy, though he urged her to do so. Another later time, Grant picked a final fight, and was gone overnight. He soon sent his personal assistant/manager to ask her for a divorce, which Cannon never anticipated, her spirit seemed to be crushed, and worn down from all the conflict.

Although Cannon loved Grant immensely, she knew it would be impossible to meet his unrealistic standards, and they would never find a shred of genuine happiness together. Following their divorce in 1968, Cannon had a complete total mental breakdown and was hospitalized. Her account of this time was tremendously sad and heartbreaking.

Cannon's memoir of her marriage to Grant didn't portray a typical mutually satisfying relationship. Grant seemingly had his own agenda from the day he began courting Cannon; and it didn't involve being a truthful, loving, supportive boyfriend/husband. Cannon has publically denied Grant was gay. To her credit, she has come to terms with his marital neglect/abuse. Grant was after all, the love of her life, the man in and of her dreams, the father of her only child, and she has made peace with his memory. Wonderful photos were included.
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TOP 500 REVIEWERon September 21, 2011
The title of this book refers to a letter written by Dyan Cannon to Cary Grant. The letter appears at the end of the book,summing up Cannon's take on her turbulent relationship and marriage to well as her journey to self- realization.

This memoir is an easy read and gives a basic chronology of Grant's life with Cannon. For me, the most interesting sections described Grant's early and often painful life - as he related it to Dyan, along with her own recollections of meeting Grant's mother.

I'd hoped for detailed descriptions of conversations between Cannon and Grant. What did they discuss? But such details are lacking, a point Dyan herself acknowledges when she writes that she simply can't have perfect recall of their conversations.

Instead she attempts to remain faithful, as she puts it, to "the way we talked". Her honesty is appreciated. Just don't expect to find much depth in the sections focusing on the couple's conversations.

On the Kindle edition of this book,there is a disclaimer that the book is a "work of fiction." This sentence appears under the word "copyright" which is printed in blue. From other reader comments, it seems that the disclaimer may be in another part of the book - or perhaps not at all. I can only vouch for the Kindle edition.

There are some solid reasons to recommend this book to fans of Cary Grant and/or Dyan Cannon. Grant's fascination with LSD
as a path to spiritual growth is not glossed over. He pushes Dyan to take the drug and I'll leave it to potential readers to learn about her experiences with acid. No spoilers about that.

Cannon's analysis of Grant's flaws seemed very credible to me and can be supported by other biographies of the actor. Readers
do need to get through initial chapters in the book which describe Cannon's persistent refusal to go out with Grant. As a result,the first sections focus mostly on Dyan and there are entire chapters which focus on her experiences without bringing Grant into the mix.

When Grant pursues Dyan, she resists. Not surprisingly, her reluctance to date Grant only fuels his passion. When she finally agrees to go out with him their romance proceeds in fits and starts,perhaps making it more enticing for Grant, a man described as wary of marriage and intimacy.

There is a lovely photo section included in the book. All in all, a light but enjoyable read.
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on April 3, 2015
Not a bad book. Ms. Cannon gave some very interesting and insightful information on her marriage to Cary Grant. Cary worked so hard to evolve from his very humble beginnings, but no one is perfect. It seems everybody has demons they cannot seem to exorcise. Cary worked overtime to woo Ms. Cannon, once he had her he tried to control every aspect of her life. Its is a good warning to everyone. Share check share. When one is getting to know someone, be careful and don't rush in to something like marriage which is suppose to be permanent. Share who you are carefully and make sure you really know the person you wish to make your life with. I also don't get the idea Ms. Cannon really stood up for herself until the end. If you don't want a parent for your partner, let that partner know in no uncertain terms, that you will not permit yourself to be treated like a controlled child. I am not against the large age gap such as they shared, but it provides a real temptation for people like Mr. Grant who wish to control.
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on September 23, 2016
I've loved Cary Grant since I was a. Teenager, what female hasn't? Reading Dyan's story, revealed what most of movie star fans never see or know about. Anyone who has ever been In to a "controlling relationship, can identify. I still believe Cary Grant to be one of the most talented, handsome actors to ever be onscreen. I just think he chose to follow some very unwise paths to "hitch his star". Consequently, Dyan , who fell completely in love with him, suffered the aftermath. God bless her for having the courage to write about her life with him. I've no doubt, by doing so, she has given others strength and encouragement to see a way out!! I highly recommend this book!
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on March 2, 2016
I ordered this for my Kindle because I found it on my BookBub list in my email for a nominal price.

I found it to be fairly well-written though, at times, a bit repetitive. I enjoyed discovering facts about a marriage I never even knew
had occurred (not my generation). Not to be a spoiler, I was, however, both intrigued and disappointed by the story behind one of the
"good guys" in what seems to me to be the heyday of old Hollywood glamour. Of course, one must take into consideration that this is
only one person's account and perspective of a multi-faceted, complex relationship.

As another customer pointed out, I purchased it as a "quick read" that would not take a lot of concentration, as I read in bed before falling to sleep. Deeper content books require more time and also keep me awake as I find I am always "only going to read one more chapter" and then am surprised when the sun is coming up.

For the small price I paid and ease of reading, I would recommend it. At the current price of almost $10.00, I would pass.
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on April 5, 2017
I found this book to be very well-written as I was able to easily picture the scene that I was reading along with its characters. I am honored to read Dyan's profound story, reminding me as she learned that we are all human and we all have our issues, but that peace and happiness are there. Life is a journey, and my hope is that the many others who are struggling with their own demons will find their way to light and love so that they may experience the joy that life brings. We can only guess as to what Cary was thinking and battling on the inside, but I pray that the peace he searched for was found. Thank you again Dyan for sharing your personal history. Xo
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on March 16, 2016
I had no idea what Dyan Cannon went through when she was married to Cary Grant. I remember reading that he had a bad temper and was moody and while these things were revealed to be true in Dyan's memoir, the whole truth is much darker and very frightening. She takes most of the blame for everything and never once, that I can remember, blames him for anything. It's obvious the man was a tortured soul but he seemed to do his utmost to make Dyan share his suffering. He twisted her mind, wrung the life out of her soul and drove her to the brink. I'm glad she managed to fight her way back and find happiness and peace but most importantly, love.
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on March 9, 2017
Ms. Cannon was able to tell the story about her relationship with Mr. Grant without this reader ever feeling like she was out for revenge or trying to drag him down into a gutter to ruin his reputation, even after his death. She did an excellent job describing the ups and downs of their relationship without bitterness. Her writing skills are very strong, organized and thoughtful. Very enjoyable book. Nice that she included pictures from her personal collection. Glad she wrote it; glad I read it.
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on August 5, 2014
Cary Grant pursued Dyan Cannon until she caught him. It was all uphill from there. The three-time loser and the impressionable young starlet were oil and water and, as those two, they were bound to separate.

Cannon is brutally honest in this memoir, about both herself and Cary Grant. From their experiences with LSD to her later breakdown, Cannon pulls no punches. Grant's hyper-controlling personality and her total acquiescence are on full display.

Once again the average person is left wondering how lives that seem so charmed can be so utterly dysfunctional.

I'd have given the book five stars (and maybe I still should, because there was nothing wrong with it) but the Kindle version contains only a couple of the photos in the hardcover book. This is an ongoing problem with Kindle editions and something Amazon needs to resolve soon.
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on February 23, 2014
I really wanted to like this book and it may be a reasonably accurate telling of Dyan Cannon's marriage to Cary Grant. However, most of the book deals with very specific details of conversations and events that happened 50 years ago. If she had indicated that she wrote this from a diary or some journal she'd kept, I'd have a completely different opinion. Even though there's a vague disclaimer at the end of the book about conversations being to the best of her memory, I still have a hard time believing the timeline and details of the significant events in the book. I'm 63 and trying to remember details from 10 or 20 years ago is difficult...something from the 1960's, forget it. Add to that Dyan Cannon's admission of LSD use (and the details of those "trips") makes this book less compelling and appearing to be more "made up.'
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