Larry Elder's latest book, "Dear Father, Dear Son", is disturbing. It is also one of the most fascinating reads you'll ever come across; a powerful testament that's truly a page-turner. The book is very blunt, and completely honest. Larry doesn't mince words-- gets to the point. It is written almost exactly the way he talks on the radio minus the humor. Didn't find that much to laugh at though.
The book literally flows. I read it in two nights, however I reread it in order to understand it from a psychological perspective. Without going into detail, let me just say this: "Dear Father, Dear Son" is a book I will remember each & ever time I look at my son. It is THAT powerful.
Larry Elder and his two brothers were severely beaten and verbally abused by their father on a regular basis. His younger brother eventually attempted suicide as a result of that abuse. Larry had a mother who was a highly respectable, educated women. His father, Randy, on the other hand, had only gone as far as the third grade. Amazingly, he didn't know much about his father's past until he had confronted him several years later. Larry describes his father as the hardest working man he had ever known. He also shares ugly revelations about Randy's own childhood, as well as what he had to do in order to survive in segregated society.
Why was his father so vicious? Why didn't his mother put a stop to it? Why didn't SOMEBODY put a stop to it? The book's dedication reads: "TO RANDOLPH ELDER - THANK YOU". Why not, "To My Father"??? These questions concern some very complicated issues, and there are no simple answers to them. Larry's father didn't know how to be a family man. He became a workaholic out of the instincts needed for survival. Was he evil, or was he just a bad person, or neither? You'll have to read the book and answer that for yourself.
Larry Elder did not talk to his father for 10 years. Then, after all those years, he decided to confront him. There was an awful lot of baggage he needed to sort out, and that took a tremendous amount of courage. Larry details the thoughts that ran through his mind while on the way to 1230 Valencia Street, Los Angeles; the location of Elder's Snack Bar, the little restaurant his father had built from scratch. Larry's recollections are quite disturbing. I had no idea of the sheer hell this (highly controversial among Blacks) talk show icon went through as a child. My heart sank upon reading them.
Why did Larry write this particular book? Maybe it was a form of mental therapy, or maybe he just wanted to set the record straight for posterity. The book reminded me of two thing; Rudyard Kipling's "IF" and Jose Feliciano's version of "The Windmills of your Mind". Why the latter? The song conjures up images from my own past which bears similarities to Larry's. "Dear Father, Dear Son" is stirring and makes you wonder. It is filled with paradoxes.
Larry's mother was a woman who was loved & admired by thousands of Larry's listeners; a mother you'd expect to find married to a man like Bill Cosby. How could she allow this abuse to go on & on? How could she just stand by & allow the innocence to be beaten out of her 3 sons? How could Larry & his brother Kirk forgive her for allow this to happen?
Larry's father worked about 80 hours a week so that his sons wouldn't have to grow up like he did. He wanted them to have a prosperous childhood so that they would grow up to become successful adults. Yet, as a father, he was always at war with them, and they grew up in an atmosphere filled with violence and fear. This same man who destroyed 3 childhoods would give free ice cream cones to kids on the block. Those who didn't know the truth thought he was a great guy.
Why would Larry's mother marry such a man? The answer-- He wasn't always like this. Something changed him. Larry devotes a chapter that explains some of the whys and whats. It's hard to hate Larry's father after learning about his past. His father grew up now even knowing his birthday {he only knew the year} or his last name. In fact, he didn't know who his mother {Covey} was. Until somebody told him, he thought Covey was his aunt! Life was solitary, nasty, and brutal for Larry's father and it didn't get much better as time went on. Maybe that's why Larry was able to forgive him. I don't know if I would have been able to. But Larry Elder is no victicrat. He is also a man without hate. His father, oddly enough, was the same way.
Why Larry Elder didn't turn out bad like so many other badly abused and/or neglected Black kids do is answered within the pages of his book. I have met Larry Elder in person and can tell you that he is the genuine article. He autographed this book for my son and wrote the follow: "TO HARMON-- AN HONEST PERSON IS ALWAYS IN TROUBLE. STAY STRONG." I hope that my son will grow up to be a man like Larry Elder.
It is quite rare to find such a fascinating read as "Dear Father, Dear Son". Not only do I recommend that you buy this book, but I also recommend that you become an "Elderado" by visiting Larry's website as I did. I have the highest regard and deepest respect for this man who is also known as "The Sage". I have no doubt that you will feel the same way as I do after reading this book. BRAVO!!!
Nelson Donley,
author of LIFE AIN'T KIND
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