Death of The Fairy King Paperback – June 11, 2014
An Amazon Book with Buzz: "The Patient" by Jasper DeWitt
"The Patient is a fascinating and frightening read that comes at you like the monster under your bed." - Reed Farrel Coleman Learn more
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The book begins as if it is being narrated by a storyteller, similarly to the Princess Bride. The narrator bounces between characters, not adjusting language to reflect each person. Some of the words used to assign emotions to the 10 year old girl are inappropriate because 10 year olds do not typically know those words or emotions. Because the author does not delineate separate chapters for each character, it makes the storytelling disjointed and one note.
Often times the story doesn't make sense. Early on, there is a chapter about a local priest. At the time, it has very little to do with the overall storyline. Later in the story, this information is conveniently used. The same thing happens with the history of the character Jim. Parts of his history don't make sense, but it is conveniently used later on. The working of details often seems forced.
Speaking of forced, the dialogue is often quite forced. It reads and sounds unnatural and unrealistic.
This book is in serious need of more attention to details. The author needs to better track her characters, their history, and the facts she reveals. There are many inconsistencies: an example is when Jenny is speaking about the town she moved to. After she first began living with her aunt and uncle, she talks about how her troubles had followed her and how the other parents looked at her suspiciously. Later, after she graduates, the author states that Jenny felt it comforting that "this new town never looked at her with suspicion." This type of inconsistency happens often.
The book also needs some good editing. There are many repetitive words, unnecessary and misplaced adjectives, tense agreement issues, and punctuation issues. In addition, there are a lot of weird time jumps in the narration. This could be cleaned up by having parts: when the crime first happened, after she graduates, then confronting her history. Each chapter could focus on one character with a narrative voice change that reflected that character, rather than one overall narrative voice.
Of course, none of those suggestions help the biggest problem which is the lack of focus. I felt like I was a in a fun house while reading this book. I can't recommend it.
Within the first few pages I was taken on a tense journey, to the extent that I lost all track of time. When I finally came up for air (only because I needed more coffee), I was stunned to realize that I had been reading non-stop for 3 hours.
After taking a sip or 2 of my coffee I picked the book up again, and again I found myself spirited away. The real world disappeared as I devoured page after page. When I reached the end of the book I just sat there, at first reflecting on the story I had just read. But immediately after I went online to see if there were any other books by this author. I was immensely disappointed not to find any.
If you give this book a try, you won't be disappointed. It is well written, with fully developed characters, and vibrant locales. Also, it'll have you guessing all the way to the end (and perhaps even after that). The author deserves accolades for a well written story. That, together with a professional job of editing, is a winning combination.
My thanks to the author for taking me back to my favorite way of spending a Saturday as a child. I'll be eagerly awaiting your next endeavor.