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The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder Paperback – October 1, 1997

by Douglas A. Riley (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars 1,075 ratings
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A much-needed tool that parents of children with O.D.D. can use to identify the source of this turmoil and take back parental control. Dr. Douglas Riley teaches parents how to recognize the signs, understand the attitudes, and modify the behavior of their oppositional child.
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  1. Print length
    208 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Taylor Trade Publishing
  4. Publication date
    October 1, 1997
  5. Dimensions
    6 x 0.49 x 9 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0878339639
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0878339631
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Editorial Reviews

Review

...offers specific suggestions on how parents can talk so kids will listen and techniques to implement when talking fails. ― Newsday

...helps parents regain control of their children and their families. ― The Washington Times

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Taylor Trade Publishing; 1st edition (October 1, 1997)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0878339639
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0878339631
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.49 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,075 ratings

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Douglas Riley

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
1,075 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book informative, providing practical ways to deal with children with ODD and being easy to read and understand. Moreover, they appreciate its ease of use, with one customer noting it provides step-by-step instructions. However, the parenting style receives mixed reactions, with some finding it helpful while others disagree. Additionally, the book's readership receives negative feedback, with one customer describing it as a dry read.

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94 customers mention "Information quality"87 positive7 negative

Customers find the book informative and helpful, providing practical ways to deal with children with ODD.

"...He gives many no nonsense action plans. It is a must read for parents of children diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder...." Read more

"...are exactly alike, this book manages to deliver the precise understanding of the child, and more importantly, the perfect tools to deal with the..." Read more

"This book is straightforward but easy to read for parents. Provides useful information in understanding how kids with ODD think...." Read more

"...This book is EMPOWERING because it explains the behaviors you thought were either your fault, you just got a “bad kid”, you’re the only one out..." Read more

28 customers mention "Ease of reading"28 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand, with one customer noting that the techniques are logically presented.

"This is a straightforward easy read. No psychological mambo jambo.You will know in the first few pages if this book applies to you and your family...." Read more

"This book is straightforward but easy to read for parents. Provides useful information in understanding how kids with ODD think...." Read more

"...Great way to learn and simple to understand." Read more

"...The book is easy to read and understand and I love the real life examples he gives." Read more

7 customers mention "Ease of use"7 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to use, with one mentioning it provides step-by-step instructions.

"...This book is the best. Really nice simple systems to put into place. REALLY NICE "PRIMER" IN THE FRONT TO EMPOWER PARENTS!..." Read more

"...It is well-written and easy-to-follow. The changes don't happen overnight and it requires commitment, but the results are amazing." Read more

"...that I have read on dealing with defiant children that give step by step instructions...." Read more

"Puts the child's behaviour in perspective. The cd ice is simple and easy to apply It was good to know that my child is not the only difficult child..." Read more

18 customers mention "Parenting style"8 positive10 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the parenting style in the book, with some finding it helpful for managing children with oppositional defiant disorder, while others report it being difficult to understand children's behavior and lacking focus on young children with ODD.

"...It can be harsh or blunt at times. The only part that I especially hated reading due to harshness was the section regarding ODD and conduct disorder...." Read more

"...You will know in the first few pages if this book applies to you and your family...." Read more

"...As the author says, it is about intensity and frequency of 'bad' behaviour, not the presence or absence of it. So it difficult to judge...." Read more

"...But there has been a marked improvement in both his behavior and how I and my husband react to his behavior which has changed the entire mood in our..." Read more

7 customers mention "Readership"0 positive7 negative

Customers find the book difficult to engage with, with one noting that the first chapter can be overwhelming, and another describing it as a dry read.

"...While in some cases that may be true, it is not very encouraging or motivating to read; those kids still deserve to be helped or taught...." Read more

"...The Defiant Child approach is very strong and not very caring...." Read more

"Extremely dated content that made it hard to relate to. Inappropriate use of comparing socioeconomic status to the way children are being raised...." Read more

"Book is informative but a dry read. I mostly read the bolded or highlighted parts. True to how children are these days though...." Read more

On point
5 out of 5 stars
On point
This book is so helpful. If you believe your child has ODD you should read this!!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • my-two-cents
    5.0 out of 5 stars Was Dr. Riley in my house?
    Reviewed in the United States on October 10, 2011
    Verified Purchase
    This is a straightforward easy read. No psychological mambo jambo.You will know in the first few pages if this book applies to you and your family. In my case, it is as if Dr. Riley wrote this book about my daughter. While reading it, I felt he had been in my house. He gives many no nonsense action plans. It is a must read for parents of children diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

    UPDATE (April 2013): It has now been 18 months since I read this book and it has been amazing. At that time (daughter was 8 years old) charts, rewards, timeouts using the awesome book 1,2,3 Magic by Thomas Phelan and other ideas by her child psychologist were having little effect. Her desire to do what she wanted was way greater than any punishment or reward. So her back talking, yelling, anger, kicking, apathy, constant noise, tantrums, refusal to do homework, get dressed, brush her teeth and much more was getting worse and worse. I was desperate.

    This book helped me understand the diagnosis better and helped me parent her better. Most importantly, it gave me additional disciplinary tools I would not have thought about. She is still a very difficult child to raise (I suspect she always will be), but the difference is she now knows I mean business. Now I have hope. I have tools that eventually stop her. I have hardly had to use the techniques given though. I still use the 1,2,3 Magic and tons of other things before I even think about using the tougher techniques in this book (such as removing everything from her bedroom). I "only" had to do that once (for a few days or a week I think). These techniques are "my last resort" and they can't be wasted. Now she is backsliding very badly again (doesn't care if she gets an allowance or not, yells constantly, doesn't look at adults in the eyes, back talks every single time she is spoken to, time outs make her angrier, hits walls and much much more). It is time to read the book again. I know it will work and THAT alone is absolutely HUGE!
    26 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Jack
    5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent, empowering book!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 15, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    It is an excellent book, and has helped me rehabilitate my child into a "normal" kid again!

    1) It is NOT a book that makes a bunch of declarations.

    2) It is a book that gives us the proper tools and ideas on how to rehabilitate our child.

    3) Most importantly, it actually gives us the understanding of what is going through the childs head - what are their motivations, thought-process and why they became the way they did.

    Being that no two children are exactly alike, this book manages to deliver the precise understanding of the child, and more importantly, the perfect tools to deal with the child.

    Full disclosure.
    My child became slowly became defiant at a younger age. It progressed as she grew. Those who were unable/unqualified to make a diagnosis kept on insisting that she has autism or aspergers.
    - She was given a neuropsychological evaluation, and the nine page report insisted that she does not have Aspergers (and certainly not autism).
    - She was evaluated by a neurologist, and he firmly insisted that she does not have and type of ASD, nor ADD, ADHD etc etc. He said she needed structure!

    She was evaluated by two independent psychologists (who are licensed to make evaluations) and they both, independently, insisted that she does not have any type of ASD, PDD etc etc.

    She was evaluated by two independent psychiatrists. They also insisted that she does not have any sort of psychiatric condition.

    We made some serious positive changes in her environment, utilizing Dr. Rileys book, and she is now 85% cured.

    My point is. No matter what some ineffective or embarrassed social workers claim, frustrated principals insist, or good-meaning people theorize, do not allow those who lack qualifications and proper understanding to label your child. Take them for the proper evaluations, and more importantly, deal with their issues as only a loving parent can.

    _____

    I'm editing my review to add. I saw that some (curiously - one review only!) reviewers suggested Ross Greene's book.
    1) His book does not deal with DEFIANT children!
    2) His rosy view that all you have to do is teach a child skills, and voilà, is not based upon reality. It would have worked with the kid prior to them becoming defiant. Once they have begun the defiance streak, their new coping mechanisms must be broken - and only then can explanations work. It's comparable to anger. You can teach people all sort of mechanisms to avoid getting angry. However, once they've learnt to achieve things through anger, you will not be able to calm them down with logic while they're blowing a tantrum! Same with the defiant child...
    71 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Tori
    4.0 out of 5 stars Insights on thinking
    Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    This book is straightforward but easy to read for parents. Provides useful information in understanding how kids with ODD think. It can be harsh or blunt at times. The only part that I especially hated reading due to harshness was the section regarding ODD and conduct disorder. Basically, if the kid is a "conduct" kid, there is no hope. While in some cases that may be true, it is not very encouraging or motivating to read; those kids still deserve to be helped or taught. I will immediately be using the method described for explanations.
    5 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Sally Graham
    5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 10, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I needed to get behind labels and stereotyping: this book was extremely helpful. Douglas Riley writes sympathetically and clearly, and draws on real life examples to illustrate particular points.

    What I found most useful were insights into the "family system" within which the defiant child operates, and the role that the parent, or parents, play in this. It's clear, for me, that if a child's behaviour is to change, then probably the parent's does as well.

    There are common sense, supportive comments - parents are supported, but so is the child too. In the heat of the parenting battles, it's reassuring to be reminded that, with luck, and perseverance, and calmness, and realism, all will be well.
    Report
  • Yolanda Cerezo
    4.0 out of 5 stars The defiant chile
    Reviewed in Spain on September 5, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Quite interesting. Methodology seems a little harsh, but the spirit is good and the objectives are clear. Worth reading to understand what is going on through this kind of children's minds
    Report
  • LK
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good, effective parenting guide
    Reviewed in Canada on December 28, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Very helpful guide. Found the recommendations to be effective.
    Report
  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars this is possibly the most useful book I have ever read!!!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 2, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I am the parent of a 14 year old son with Asperger's syndrome and oppositional defiance disorder. I was feeling utterly beaten and completely out of ideas of how to manage my son, and bought this book out of sheer desperation.
    It is crammed full of real life stories and advice on strategies to help understand the oppositional child, and deal with their behaviour in a positive and powerful manner. The author is clearly very experienced in his field and has step-by-step guidance on techniques he has used successfully on a number of children which can be put in place by any parent sufficiently motivated to try them.
    When you don't know where else to turn, and are considering putting your child up for adoption, read this book instead!!!
    2 people found this helpful
     Report
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Help Guide you through ODD
    Reviewed in Canada on January 3, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    I have used this book to help guide me through having a child with ODD. It's easy to read and has help through difficult times.
    Report