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Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe Paperback – January 7, 2013
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I hold these pages, words of Sarah Mae's and Sally's, that are a gift to every mother, that welcome mothers everywhere out of hiding and loneliness and into a fellowship of sisters and mentors, that will make you feel not alone, that will make you feel that there is real God-given hope.
-Ann Voskamp, New York Times best-selling author of One Thousand Gifts
You need this book! I'm buying it for all my friends who are in the mom stage of life.
-Linda Dillow, Author of Calm My Anxious Heart and What's it Like to be Married to Me?
This book seeps wisdom and truth...I can't recommend this book enough! Read it alone or read it with friends...but read it!
-Tricia Goyer, best-selling author of 34 books, including Blue Like Play Dough: The Shape of Motherhood in the Grip of God
Powerful, captivating and gut-wrenchingly honest; if this superb book could get into the hands of every mom, our world
would drastically change, for the good! It's a new classic for a new generation.
-Kristen Habermehl, author & speaker, founder of Mom Nights
Sarah Mae represents so many women who long to be good mamas to their little ones, and Sally embodies the mentor so many of us wish we had. They have given us a gift with the words on these pages--a peek into their conversations about what it means to persevere through the tiring days of parenting small children, and a glimpse at what it's like on the other side.
-Tsh Oxenreider, author and blogger behind SimpleMom.net
About the Author
Sarah Mae (sarahmae.com), listed as one of the Christian Broadcasting Network's "Six Women Leaders to Follow on Twitter," is an influential blogger, conference host, and author of the best-selling ebook 31 Days to Clean: Having a Martha House the Mary Way. She makes her home in the beautiful Amish country of Pennsylvania where she celebrates life with her husband and three children.
Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
Top customer reviews
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This book showed a beautiful picture of what a meaningful mentoring experience looks like. Sally Clarkson saw something in Sarah Mae, and they began a relationship together that was intentional, and helped both of them grow in their relationship with the Lord. The mentoring seemed to come at a time when Sarah Mae desperately needed it- in the middle of mothering three littles- and battling depression.
I could relate to Sarah Mae, in that I also have three kids incredibly close together in age (almost 4!). And there were times last year when I was staying at home with them that I did feel desperate and like I needed some room to breathe. Running after and caring for a 1, 2/3 and 3/4 year old is physically, emotionally, and mentally difficult. There are no breaks, even with a stellar husband. It takes 2 parents to meet the never-ending needs of such young children.
For moms who stay at home, Sarah and Sally offer some great suggestions on how to create space to breathe in the midst of full-time, never-ending motherhood. They rightly suggest that a lot of it has to do with our attitude towards our kids and being a stay-at-home mom.
They repeated over and over that there is no "right way" to parent. Every family is different. Every child is different. Every mom is different. If you are not good at keeping house, by all means hire a housekeeper and feel no guilt about it! If you don't want to spank your kids, do not listen to those other moms who say if you don't you will have bratty kids. Seek God, follow the promptings you feel about how He has designed your unique family, and then find a few good friends who are going to support you and not criticize your decisions.
What I did not like
At times, the relationship between Sarah Mae and Sally seemed like Sarah Mae was incredibly needy and Sally had all the answers. It has been my experience that in healthy mentoring relationships, both parties involved are encouraged by one another, and both people come out with a new perspective.
This book is absolutely NOT for moms who work outside the home full-time. Although they were big on talking about the uniqueness of each family and following what God had for each family, I don't think they would be very accepting of the decision for the mom to work outside the home. They explicitly says that "Scripture is filled with admonitions for a mama to make her home her focus and bring up her children. A mama's primary domain is her home." (p. 170) They continue on to say that this doesn't mean that's the only purpose God has for a mom, but it's first and main purpose. I'm glad they added the second part, but I still disagree with the first. I have personally faced the judgment of other women who can't believe that I would work outside the home. And perhaps some judgment that my husband stays at home with the kids ("what? he doesn't work?" ummmm....if I talked about a stay-at-home mom that way, I'm pretty sure I'd get an earful about how staying at home with 3 preschool kids IS work, yes?)
When I pick up a book for mothers, I shouldn't be surprised, I guess, to find this type of attitude. In a way, it's too bad because the book did have some great things to say about life as a stay-at-home mom. Because it IS really hard (for some of us), especially in those early years as we're becoming mothers (because some of us aren't born longing for that and sometimes it's just a process that takes a few years).
So, do I recommend it? If you are a stay-at-home mom and feeling discouraged/depressed/worn-out, yes, I really think it could offer you some encouragement and good ways to look at things a little differently. If you are a work-outside-the-home mom who is feeling discouraged/depressed/worn-out, don't read it unless you can take the "stay-at-home-moms-are-God's-favorite-moms" attitude.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <[...]> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 <[...]> : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."