The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) 1st Edition

Without any exaggerations intended, this book has seriously saved my life and me from myself. I am 23 years old and ever since I was between 13-14, a certain darkness crept over me and everybody around me saw negative changes in me that even I couldn't understand at first. My parents figured it was just teen angst, something that will go away on it's own. At age 19 to 20-21, I was cutting myself and couldn't run away from the monster that whispers horrible things to me, telling me that I was unloved and that I should kill myself. At 22, I almost went with a plan to kill myself by hanging, and I got sent to a psych ward. Like always, nothing had helped.

This year, I almost lost the love of my life because of my constant mood swings, negative thoughts, suicidal tendencies, degrading myself through words and action, overreacting to everything in the worst ways, aggressive and abusive behavior, and generally being a complete nightmare to be with. I looked around for ways to cope, and I don't know how, but I came across Dialectical Behavior Therapy and it's supposed miraculous results. I thought I had borderline personality disorder, so I found this book and purchased it while seeing a therapist. She diagnosed me with clinical depression with post traumatic stress disorder. She highly believes that I can still use the workbook for DBT even if I wasn't borderline. So, I went straight to work.

My God. I don't know how to describe the book, but it was like finding a true blue best friend who wants to tend to your wounds and heal you from the inside out. This book encompasses all four modules of the DBT, which includes:

1. Distress Tolerance
2. Mindfulness
3. Emotional Regulation
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

Each one has two chapters, one "basic" and one "advanced", except for mindfulness, which has an extra third chapter to explore this skill further. Distress tolerance has showed me how to self-soothe myself through developing healthy hobbies, pleasurable activities, 'pushing away' a negative thought or emotion until you calm down, and pleasing yourself through your five senses, such as sucking on a candy when upset. Mindfulness has showed me how to meditate and how to practice noticing the physical reality around me to cope with distressing emotions and thoughts, being in the moment in everyday activities, to be non-judging of both the physical reality and the mental/emotional disturbances and to let the negative things go. Emotional regulation has taught me to identify and label emotions (without judging myself), reduce vulnerability from the 'emotional mind', to practice using my gut instincts (wise-mind), to observe and peacefully let go of negative thoughts and emotions, and to ride out the waves of intense emotion without having to physically react and do something dangerous to myself or others. Finally, interpersonal effectiveness has taught me how to ask for things respectfully and assertively from others without feeling guilty to avoid being aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive, that it's okay to expect certain things from people (provided it is healthy for the two of you), to say no without losing relationships, and to avoid confrontations from blowing up and leaving behind damaged relationships.

It took me a couple of months to complete this workbook but it has changed me for the better. My partner has seen the positive changes in me and couldn't be more happier. Here's a quick lesson that really has helped me with my negative emotions- sometimes we overreact and blow up because we have not been taught how to express our emotions and instead, bottle it all up inside until we boil over. It is crucial to express how you feel, for example, when somebody unintentionally hurts you, tell them, "I feel upset when you said that." in a calm voice. You'll be amazed how apologetic people get when you are honest with your hurt feelings, provided you stay calm and use "I" messages. I am able to stop fighting with my partner and everyone in my life just by doing this. Even when I'm alone and feel upset, I say the emotion out loud: "I feel sad!" I know, it sounds silly, but this simple technique is amazing at managing difficult moments in life. You have a RIGHT to your emotions, even if they feel bad. I promise! :-)

If you have depression, anxiety, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, and other array of mood-wrecking disorders, please please PLEASE save yourself and buy this book. Read it cover-to-cover, do all the exercises even if it feels annoying at first, and take all the time to complete each chapter. This is not a race to the finish line; this is your LIFE. I look at the world now with a healthier pair of glasses and I know I can withstand the challenges that will come my way, thanks to this amazing work. Matthew McKay, if you are reading this, know that you have saved a young woman from killing herself and ruining the lives of those who love her very much. You have done a wonderful service to those who feel that they are damaged forever, and you gave me the light at the end of my dark tunnel of mental illness. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Happy healing to everybody! Don't ever give up on yourself! You are loved!

I cannot tout the benefits of picking a copy of this book up enough. It was recommended to me by my therapist, and I've been putting a lot of work into gaining insight and becoming mindful. If someone you know is struggling and can't/won't go to therapy (yet), give them this book and a pen, and they can start thinking about their issues in a meaningful way; the material in here is accessible no matter if you've been participating in DBT for years or you don't even know what DBT is. The language is simple enough for younger/less literate people to easily grasp and there is plenty of room to work out thoughts, feelings, and behaviors on the pages within.

The book encourages those struggling to really take a look at why they feel, or act, the way they do, and take proactive steps to correct that behaviors, develop coping skills, and learn to embrace and look forward to life again. It's a useful tool for self-improvement. Terrific resource to have on hand. Thanks to the authors for creating this series of books and reaching so very many people.

This book was great if you have any trouble with emotional regulation. I am not an extreme case but I needed to find some skills and tools for when I was getting flooded with anxiety. It takes a long time to get through and I started to pick and choose what activity I was going to do. It's not an overnight fix but I certainly saw some very quick improvements. This book is very detailed in it's explanation and very helpful.

At 19 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After my first manic episode, this helped me to understand myself and my disorder. The workbook made it so that I could differentiate between what symptoms were related to manic depression and which symptoms were just maladaptive behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs that I used as negative coping mechanisms. Two years later, I still go to the workbook when I need guidance. I've given this DBT workbook to a friend who has borderline personality disorder and she says it helped her to stop self-harming.

As long as the individual is stable, ready, and willing to do therapy, it's a great scientifically backed source. However, I think the saying goes, "it only works if you do!" To truly benefit from the workbook, the patient must be honest with his/herself. It's hard work!

I truly believe this book has changed my life. Don't get bogged down with thinking it isn't for you because you don't self-harm, don't have a drug/alcohol addiction, or aren't borderline. This book is for anyone who has strong emotions and/or poor coping skills. It is so practical and easy to learn from. You can change your life. This book can help : )

I have BPD with depression and anxiety. This workbook has given me so much tips on coping, detractions, breathing techniques etc. Each chapter has multiple exercises and tells you in full detail. Then, has you do it on your own with your own personal struggles etc. It gives examples and tells other peoples stories and how they got through it and what not. It's basically focusing on changing your habits and guiding you down a controlled, helpful and stress free path. I'm not even half way done but the book has already changed my way of thinking on past issues that come up through out my life constantly. Now, I have new coping skills to use when these issues come up. I can't wait to see the rest of the book and how much change I do with the guidance of the information I have read. If you want to change, you must work on it. It will catch on. Give it time, and work on it daily and then you probably won't even need the book anymore. But I'm happy to have the book here for emergencies or when I need ideas to cope from an issue.