While I have always liked (some) dogs, I am not a Best in Show watching, dress your Pug up like Santa Claus, “I woof you very much” t-shirt wearing dog fanatic. Thus, according to Dogtology, I am what is known as a DUD (Doesn’t Understand Dogtology). I actually kind of like the term… it’s a nice break from “OCD,” “dork,” “pig” and other terms I hear far too often. By the way, I am only mildly OCD.
As a DUD, I loved Dogtology for its insightful humor. For example, the section about “Whizzbook,” or Facebook for dogs, had me laughing hysterically. As did the explanation of Quadruple Octave Escalation (QOE) - that annoying, high-pitched voice people use when talking to Dogs (or babies). And then there’s the list of products that dogs would make for humans if they could – my favorite is “grizzle pop,” the lollipop made of uncooked beef.
More importantly, this book made me think about human behavior. In one section, for example, the author discusses how dogs free people of inhibitions and allow them to do things that they normally wouldn’t feel comfortable with – such as chatting up hot girls (or hot guys for the female and West Hollywood readers) when they’re accompanied by canines. This does make you pause and think about how we often use our advanced cognitive abilities to live in fear and come up with excuses for not pursuing things which make us happy rather than “living in the moment” and enjoying life.
I should mention, however, that I won’t be getting “barktized” anytime soon. I can’t bring myself to completely ignore the less positive examples of canine behavior; for example, the Rottweilers who attack children on their way home from school or the Pit Bulls who mauled that guy in the Midwest last month. And don’t forget “little Cujo,” my neighbors’ dog. That hyper, high-pitched, 5-pound ball of fluffy white poodle-ness tries to kill me every time he sees me (luckily, he’s always leashed – see book 2).
For all of you Believers out there, I already know you will love Dogtology and its inevitable movie trilogy starring Javier Bardem as a No Country for Old Men style DUD villian. So this review is for the other DUDs. I want you to read this book. No, I need you to read this book. I’m not sure what’s next for the Dogtological Faithful… the Neuter Testament? Barkageddon? In any case, the time will come when Believers come after us en masse with their “Shampooched,” puffy Poodles in Pink ribbons and we need to be united when that day comes. For now, let’s see if I can blast some high-pitched, atonal music for little Cujo next door. Thank God (thank Dog?) for DUDs!
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