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Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with your Adult Children Paperback – August 5, 2008
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'A very wise book. It not only takes into account the perspectives of parents and adult children but helps us to understand how changes in society influence these perspectives. Its non-judgmental framework and helpful questions should foster important cross-generational dialogue.' -- Rhoda Unger, author of Women and Gender: A Feminist Perspective 'Although tons of parenting books line the shelves of bookstores, very little exists to help parents of 20, 30 and 40 somethings. Ruth Nemzoff has written a wise and readable book that covers most of the universal developmental issued faced by today's parents of adult children. She encourages both generations to reflect on our inevitable differences, and advises us on how to speak respectfully about them. If her advice is followed, family relationships will be strengthened, improving life for all involved, including the following generations of children.' - Linda A. Braun, former director of Families First Parenting Programs
About the Author
Dr. Ruth Nemzoff is a resident scholar at Brandeis University's Women's Studies Research Center and lectures widely on family dynamics. Her papers are archived at the Schlesinger Library at Harvard University where she also holds a doctorate in social policy. She has served three terms in the New Hampshire legislature and is the mother of four adult children. She lives in Newton, MA with her husband Harris Berman.
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I was unable to find any real advise that I might find useful. In the chapter on weddings, for example, which I could not wait to get into since my wife and I are in the midst of one right now, the advise could be summarized as follows. Modern weddings are complex and there is no easy way to negotiate the potential for relationship problems.
In fact I am about to give away the whole book: "Don't bite your tongue- COMMUNICATE!"
For readers who enjoy anecdotes, there are numerous ones in each chapter.
about boundaries and yet keeping the door open...not only in grown children's return home visits, but in places of
discernment, discretion, and truth. Biting your tongue gets you nowhere except outside their worlds. Learning to
phrase things, or keeping your own needs and wants up front is as important as their needs She hit a home run with me
when she described that almost all of our lives forward is with grown children and only a relatively few number of years is raising them.
This book navigates readers through examples and affirming thoughts that we are all better off having a voice than not!
I definetely recommend this book to all parents and adult children wishing to enjoy fruitful and happy longlife family relationships.