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You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way Paperback – December 1, 2007
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"Filled with powerful insights, You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way guides and motivates in smart and sensitive ways that any reader can benefit from." --John Gray PhD
"This book is filled with gems and 'A-Ha's!' And it's fun to read! 'Aunt Laya' combines a loving manner, in a non-judging way, with practical advice that will make anyone's life so much easier, and much, much more effective and happy.
"As I came across these gems I kept finding myself thinking that if this book was the only one I had known about when I was younger, I could have (and would have) avoided a lot of pain. 'You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way' should be read by every young adult and his or her friends." Bob Burg, author of Winning Without Intimidation --Bob Burg
When I was growing up, I can honestly say that I don't remember ever hearing about "self-help" books for teens. If they were out there, I simply never heard about them, and no one ever pointed me in their direction. Maybe if I had gotten my hands on a book as well-written as YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY, I would have had a better guideline to base my choices on. Thankfully, this book is available now, and it's a resource that every teen and pre-teen should read. Aunt Laya Saul is never preachy, she doesn't tell you what's right and wrong, she never says you can't make mistakes. Actually, the author is very adamant about that fact that each young adult should make their own decisions, and that you can learn from your mistakes. But as she also points out, there is still something to be learned from the mistakes that have already been made by others. Just as you know that jumping off the Empire State Building would be a bad idea (as shown by those who have tried it), you can realize that doing certain things will only bring you harm by seeing the results they've already had in other people's lives. The book is laid out in four main categories, with many sub-categories in each one.
Attitude, which includes Believe In Yourself, Everybody Has Something, Trust Your Intuition, Defining Boundaries, Don't Panic, The One Percent Adjustment, What Do You Expect?, It's Your Choice, and Accountability.
Challenges, which includes Failure-Missing The Mark, Handling Regret, Trusting The Hard Times, Pain And Suffering, Alcohol And Drug Abuse: Self-Medication, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, and You Are Never Alone.
You And The World, which includes Reflections On Relationships, Family, Friendship, Communication, Gossip, Be Nice, Feedback, and What You Really Need To Know About Sex.
Gaining Altitude, which includes Because You Are Noble And You Can, Forgiveness, Lend A Hand, You've Got To Stand For Something, Live Your Dreams, Changes, and The Gift of Time.
There is also an introductory letter from the author, a final word, a section on recommended reads and a bibliography, acknowledgments, how to contact the author, and an author biography.
This is a great book that you can give to the teen or pre-teen in your life. Or if you're a young adult looking for a handbook to get through the tough times of adolescence, pick up a copy of YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY. I guarantee you won't be disappointed. --TeensReadToo.com
Mom's Choice Award 2009 Gold Recipient: Young Adult Self-Improvement
Indie Book Award 2008: Winner in Young Adult Non-Fiction
The National Best Books Award 2008: Finalist in Young Adult Non-Fiction --Award Winning Book
From the Back Cover
"This book teaches how to make your life one of effortless effort. You'll love it!"
Mark Victor Hansen
co-creator, #1 New York Times bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul®
I Never Thought of THAT...
Sure, all young people make mistakes. And yes, you should try to learn from them. But does that mean you have to try everything--and make a lot of painful mistakes--before you can say you've learned a thing or two about life? Not according to Aunt Laya. You can learn from other successes and failures of others, make smart choices, and lead an exciting, satisfying life. This book is a great place to start. Listen to Aunt Laya:
"Decide for yourself the kind of life you want. You have to live your own adventure in life, but you don't have to reinvent the wheel."
In You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way, Aunt Laya Saul helps you find--within yourself--the answers to life's most important questions. It's like having a heart-to-heart talk with your favorite aunt, one who understands you, respects you, and wants you to reach high for your dreams.
Aunt Laya shows you how to:
Conquer your doubts--recognize and use your gifts and your strengths
Tap into and trust your intuition to make good choices and avoid danger
Define your boundaries for better, healthier relationships
Open the door to healing places where you hurt
Strengthen yourself with wisdom and information
Got friends or loved ones who could use some support?
Share this book with them! --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
Aunt Laya Saul has finally written the book she wishes someone had written for her when she was a teenager. Not only did she make painful mistakes, she learned a great deal in the process. Through her own journey to adulthood, she learned how to recognize opportunities and avoid dangers.
All the topics are divided into small chapters so this book is very easy to read and many of the chapters are two to three pages. She discusses how each of us has challenges and gifts and how we can plug into our intuition and trust our instincts. She also covers topics like:
Gaining a New Perspective
Expecting the Unexpected
Choices that Change Your Life
Dealing with Failure and Regret
Pain and Suffering as Part of Living
Alcohol and Drug Abuse
Life and Death
You and the World
Family and Friends
Live Your Dreams
Aunt Laya Saul has a true love for quotes and this book is filled with inspirational moments, stories and wisdom gained from experience and reading. She has a talent for taking difficult issues and making the solutions seem very logical and desirable. Aunt Laya is on your side and she quickly summarizes each issue and then presents the negative and positive results of each choice you could make. The index is well organized and you can quickly locate issues like peace, compassion, anxiety, frustration, love, jealousy and many others.
Through reading this book you can avoid dangerous situations and learn how to nurture healthy relationships. I liked her ideas about replacing fear with excitement and how to approach change one breath at a time. "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way" is a encouraging book that can be enjoyed by teenagers and adults of any age. These are issues that follow us throughout our lives. There are also notes about additional reading materials and resources, which would be of interest to anyone working with teens. Highly recommended for parents to give to their teens because this book could also provide a way to exchange life-changing information and give parents and teens the opportunity to see both sides of the issues.
~The Rebecca Review
Will young adults listen to anyone other than other young adults? In some cases, they will. The same advice that will be rejected from a parent (as part of young adult rebellion) may be very welcome coming from someone a little more emotionally removed. Aunt Laya Saul tries to play that role and does a solid job.
You will find bits and pieces of the Bible and the best self-help books in You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way. For that tiny minority of young adults who have figured out that they would like to learn by ways other than falling down, this book can save years of reading by distilling so many other sources into bite-sized pieces. "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." That's the philosophy behind this book.
How about for young adults who need good advice but don't realize that someone else's experience can be a good teacher? The only hope there is for a young friend to recommend this book . . . or better yet, give it as a gift for a birthday or other non-threatening occasion.
The best way to introduce a young adult to this book who isn't looking for self-help is to read a story or a brief section to them aloud. I suggest starting with an intriguing part that isn't too personal . . . like the butterfly story on page one or Sam's Sandwiches on page 46. Then hand the book over and say something like, "There are a lot of other good stories in here too."
Then, in the secret recesses of the young adult bedroom, the delicate, but fascinating, material on sexual relations, making and keeping friends, suicide, drugs and alcohol abuse, and finding a soul mate can be explored in peace and quiet.
As I read the book, I tried to remember myself at around age 16 with the questions I had then. It never occurred to me to look for a book to get answers, but if it had, Aunt Laya Saul would have been an excellent source. And I would have avoided some major bumps in the road if I had learned these things through a book rather than by bumping my head on the road of life.
I commend the author for creating such a well-intentioned book that delivers on its premise . . . and I hope the book sells well for her.
The book's main limitation is that it doesn't have contemporary material that connects to the young adult world. If Ms. Saul ever redoes this book, I suggest that she co-author it with a young adult.
As I read the book, I kept comparing it to Life Strategies for Teens which was written by Jay McGraw (Dr. Phil's son) in 2000. No one knows how to talk to a young adult like another young adult.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
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