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Don't Should on Your Kids: Build Their Mental Toughness Paperback – November 28, 2015

5.0 out of 5 stars 33 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

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"As an NFL head coach, when a bad play occurs, we need to move on and focus on the next one. As parents, the best focus means enjoying the process of our kids' journey and being supportive along the way. Dr. Bell and Bill Parisi's book helps with our kids and our own mental toughness." -- NFL Head Coach Chuck Pagano


"Read this book and I'll send you a participation trophy."  -- John Brubaker, Award-Winning Author, Coach & Parent

"Just like in The Hinge, this book provides both parents and coaches with simple, actionable steps to help their athletes develop mental toughness. I highly recommend it." -- John O'Sullivan, Author of Changing The Game.

Don't Should on Your Kids includes many practical thoughts for parents including one of my favorites, "Great parents ask their kid, 'How was your day?' not just 'How was your practice?'" -- Jim Thompson, Positive Coaching Alliance Founder

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 152 pages
  • Publisher: DRB Press (November 28, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0989918424
  • ISBN-13: 978-0989918428
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #723,281 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Gregg Scharnagl on December 31, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition
I thought this book was definitely worth the read. Although I think a lot of what the authors are conveying is common sense, it's always good to be reminded of these things and check yourself and your behavior on the sidelines, in the car and in your interactions with your child athlete. Maybe the examples the authors raise aren't you, specifically, but I'm willing to bet that you can put a name against each example from the parents you share the sidelines with!

As a coach, this is definitely a book you want your players' parents to read. Again, they probably won't learn anything new, but they'll be reminded of things that you've either already told them or want to say to them but through the book you can get the point across.

As someone who spends a lot of time on the sidelines--sometimes coach, sometimes parent, sometimes just a fan--you'll recognize and relate to much of what the authors are saying. You'll probably want to give a copy to some of the parents you share the bleachers with, and hopefully you can do so without saying, "Here, read this--you're the jerk these guys are talking about!!!" :-)

As a parent you'll be reminded that sports are just a game and almost never about life or death. Your kids have to want to play--you can't force them to play--and if it stops being fun for them then they won't want to play any more. It's OK to take a break. It's OK to have an offseason. It's OK to play multiple sports. As parents it's our job to support and keep things positive and know when to stick our noses in or not. Oh, and it's also OK to fail and lose and struggle. Keep reinforcing effort over results and your athlete will be just fine.
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Format: Paperback
This is a must read for parents and coaches. As a 30 year coach of a high school, college, and summer exposure teams I've seen first hand pressure athletes are under to perform. I'm also the Division 1 athlete so this book hit home on many points. The authors have set up a plan of success to help parents and coaches that want to relate better to athletes and help increase their performances.

-Derrick Williams, Director of Men of the Family Basketball program
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I am a parent of a 15 year old athlete who has a ton of potential. I have struggled figuring out how to balance encouraging that potential vs. pushing too hard or even wanting it more than he wants it. This book gives some really insightful and practical tips on how to accomplish this.

The book also helped me remember why we introduced our kids to sports in the first place. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the hype of exposure and rankings that we lose sight of what we originally wanted our sons to learn from sports - teamwork, dedication, character, hard-work and leadership.

I would recommend this book to any parents with kids involved in sports. It's a must read for parents with kids who stand out in their sport and are travel/AAU caliber athletes.

The final thing I will say is this book is incredibly easy to read. I'm not a huge reader and I read this book in just a couple of days. The chapters are short and to the point. No unnecessary words, stories or anecdotes.
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Format: Kindle Edition
Dr. Rob's latest book, Don't "Should" On Your Kids, is an excellent road map of what a parent should do, and, more importantly, not do, in raising a great junior athlete, and an even better young adult. Our oldest daughter, Ashley, had the privilege of working with Dr. Rob at the University of Notre Dame, and four years later with numerous tournaments won by Ashley and the Notre Dame Women's Golf Team, Ashley is a National Science Foundation fellow with a full-ride academic scholarship for a graduate degree in bio-mechanical engineering at the University of Illinois. Thank you, Dr. Rob, for a job well done, and for putting so many of your tried-and-true techniques for mental toughness and personal pride into a concise guide for concerned parents who want to assist their young student-athletes achieve their full potential.
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What a great book! As a career athletic coach, I am nodding the whole way with great insight into the world of my athletes' and their 'other side' of influence (parenting). But, as a dad of three student-athletes, I am biting my lip as I look inside myself. What an awesome flick between the eyes of a wake-up call to parents (including myself). I am, again, nodding and smiling during such a simple approach that is so true about parenting young and advanced athletes alike.
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Format: Paperback
After some research on the topic, I decided to purchase this book. I can't say enough about how wonderful it is! Easy to read and understand; I have since, purchased two more of his books. My husband and I agree, it is great, great, great for parents of athletes. Can't wait to receive the others and get started on them!
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Don't Should on your kids is a excellent book for all parents to read. We all want is best for our kids but sometimes our actions can have a negative affect on them without even realizing it. Dr. Bell does a great job of outlining how we "should" and shouldn't communicate with our children. I highly recommend!
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Format: Paperback
With instructional and compelling examples drawn from the vast realm of modern sports and those who developed to become sports heroes (or did not), this compact manual is advised for all parents and other family members who have engaged their children in the probable fantasy of a future in sports. More often than not, as Dr. Bell descriptively conveys, the "shoulding" of their children as they are learning the fundamentals and intrinsic rules and skills of a sport, or more accurately, a game, is more about what the parents want through vicarious play than what their children want or are capable of for their age. Thoughtful examples will help parents who have not seen themselves in this light to step back, let the coaches do the "shoulding" and the "how to", and let their children have fun, as they learn the game and whether or not they have the "right stuff" to pursue a chosen sport in the future.
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