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Don't Use My Sweater Like a Towel: The Stain Free Guide for Dating and Mating in the 21st Century Paperback – December 28, 2006
Part memoir, part amateur experiment, Don't Use My Sweater Like A Towel is an absolutely uncensored, at times sexually graphic memoir of author Jennifer Kelton's dating and sex life, and her surprisingly structured experiments to discern precisely how much value and accuracy lies in the myriad of dating self-help books and advice available today. Kelton was unable to bear children for medical reasons, and therefore was not under pressure from a biological clock, yet she was searching for the right man to share her life with - most of Don't Use My Sweater Like A Towel recounts the men that she dated, all of whom eventually proved unsuitable for a long-term relationship with her, but many of whom remained good friends after the sex ended. Of especial interest are the chapters in which Kelton reflects on dating advice books, and gathered information from her male friends as to whether women really shouldn't call a man back (the most common answer: if the woman never calls, the man may take it as a sign that she isn't interested), or how many dates there should be before sex (most agreed that it depended on what the people in the relationship felt was right), and similar questions. She also explored the questionable usefulness of bottled human phermones, and offers enlightening ponderings on the latest scientific findings about mating behaviors in the animal kingdom. Perhaps the most valuable advice in Don't Use My Sweater Like A Towel is the importance of having confidence in oneself and respect for others; the author's open story of her dating life certainly proves to be an invaluable and enriching experience. --Midwest Book Review
A woman dates 12 men over the course of a year in the name of science...Written in a chatty, brisk style, the book is most engaging when Kelton attempts to follow the dating rules offered by various self-help books...The chapter in which she orders pheromones from the Internet and enlists her friends as test subjects is especially amusing...A fun, intriguing premise. --Kirkus Discoveries
About the Author
Jennifer Kelton, has quickly become one of the most sought after dating and relationship experts by the media. Her quick wit, honesty and entertaining yet informative repartee has her featured in a growing list of print, radio and television outlets and as an author, Kelton spent a full year reading the big boys of relationship books and testing their dating advice. She even performed an interesting test on the effects of pheromones as she tried to unravel the mysteries behind human nature and genetic make-up. Her findings, coupled with vignettes of her own personal life, make up the dating advice book for the 21st Century. Filled with Kelton’s optimism and stories of her own experiences, you’ll see all there is to dating – the good, the bad and the sometimes messy, hence the title.
Jennifer is not only an author and dating expert but also a humanitarian, environmentalist, artist, accomplished entrepreneur and athlete. Her junior targeted eco-friendly clothing line, Nomads 1800, reached national and international distribution. Simultaneously, she founded the nonprofit organization, Nomads 1800 Inc., an oasis for young aspiring artists of little means to express themselves and reach the community. Nomads 1800, Inc. received a proclamation from Los Angeles Mayor Richard Riordan for its contributions to the arts. She also owned and operated a nightclub called Nomads that catapulted the careers of chart topping artists. Kelton participates in a handful of humanitarian organizations and sponsors numerous children and young women in third world countries. An avid snowboarder, she spends her spare time hitting the slopes.
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In a long past (and when unmarried) time, the book's world too was mine. And in retrospect it is clear to me now that I, like many of the book's male subjects, was a jerk. This was not wholly a unilateral state of being. But my jerkiness was perhaps more grand, less kind, and certainly more regrettable than my partner's.
Kelton's book confirms my worst fears of the time. And that big fear was this: While I tried to appear cool and intelligent - as pathetic a "come on" as any - the drunk, the urban cowboy, the guy with sandals that looks like Jesus, the guy with the pimped-out car, and the guy who will eventually wipe his spermatozoa on his lover's sweater (hence the book's title), would get the attractive woman to his hotel room and have screaming sex while I would be left to sip my gin (hold the Vermouth please) alone in the lobby.
In this memoir, there are no stories of angry lovers ripping the still beating and bloody heart from their partner's chest, no revenge car sabotage, and no spirals into depression because of lost love and lost worlds. There is though a brutally honest account of a woman's search for a partner. A search for someone to love. And the desire to have love returned.