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Duct Tape Parenting: A Less is More Approach to Raising Respectful, Responsible and Resilient Kids Paperback – August 30, 2012
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“Parenting books are like diet books: They work for a while and then you're back to blimpdom. Duct Tape Parenting seems like something else – an idea that's workable for the long run, because, at base, it believes in the kids themselves.” (Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book and blog, Free-Range Kids)
“Duct Tape Parenting is for every parent who's grown tired of picking up after the kids, taming sibling squabbles, and doing all the work around the house. In an age of overly involved parents, Vicki Hoefle offers a battle cry of sanity. I read her book in one weekend, immediately put her wisdom to use, and saw results right away. I was stunned. If you want to change the dynamic in your household and nurture self-reliant, thoughtful, and resilient children, read this book.” (Katherine Ozment, contributing editor and weekly columnist for Boston Magazine)
"Vicki Hoefle does an amazing job in Duct Tape Parenting of providing relatable, helpful advice. Her approach is unique and extremely thought provoking. This is a must-read for parents who are tired of advice that does not work and need a re-charge for their families." (Vanessa Van Petten, author, RadicalParenting.com)
“In this gem of a book, Vicki Hoefle gives parents a commonsense approach to raising respectful, responsible and resilient children. Her lighthearted, down to earth manner helps parents clarify their goals for their families, understand the roots of behavior and develop a path to creating a happy, healthy and supportive family life.” (Amy Lew, PhD, author of Raising Kids Who Can)
“The most important family dynamic that we have achieved as a result of Vicki Hoefle’s approach is one of mutual respect. We feel like a team, like four people who can depend upon each other. This book is a must-read for any family who is looking to create a supportive unit built on honesty and trust.” (Katy Smith Abbott, Dean of Students & Assistant Professor of the History of Art and Architecture, Middlebury College)
“An informative and irreverent guide, this book is a must-read for anyone who wants to raise resilient, problem-solving children. Vicki Hoefle offers a Goldilocks way forward: not too much parenting, not too little, just right.” (Craig Idlebrook, writer and parent-educator with the Boot Camp for New Dads Project. www.bootcampfordads.org)
“If you are interested in more positive family relationships and raising capable children who will courageously step into adulthood, take the opportunity to read this book. It is never too late to change your life.” (Cindy Pierce, mother, innkeeper, comic, author of Finding the Doorbell, Sexual Satisfaction for the Long Haul)
“This is a must-read for every parent, parent educator, and teacher. The exercises help you identify the problem and the little reminders tell you exactly what to do (‘putting on the duct tape’), when to do, and why to do. As a counselor and educator, I recommend this book wholeheartedly to every parent and any individual who works with children. The ideas are so applicable, that I will use some of them in my classes, even at the graduate level! And as a parent my duct tape is ready…finally.” (Bengu Erguner-Tekinalp, PhD, assistant professor, Counselor Education, Drake University)
“Rarely does a book come along that offers parents solid information about why a parenting style is so important, tools and tips that make it easy to try, and inspiration that keeps us afloat as we find our way. Vicki Hoefle is the real deal. She’s parented five kids and taught thousands of parents with this approach. This book should definitely be on the top of your stack!” (Dina Emser, Certified Positive Discipline Lead Trainer, author of Roadmap to Success and Trusting the Fortune Within)
"Hoefle's straightforward approach to empowering our children debunks the parenting myths that often cause unnecessary stressors that are all too common within families. Her techniques and highly identifiable case studies demonstrate that it is possible for parents to have mutually respectful relationships with their children, while lovingly engaging with them and providing the knowledge that builds their abilities, confidence and independence." (Dawn Lyons, freelance writer & editor, teen consultant & advocate, www.linesbylyons.com)
"Parenting books are like diet books: They work for a while and then you're back to blimpdom. Duct Tape Parenting seems like something else - an idea that's workable for the long run, because, at base, it believes in the kids themselves." (Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book and blog, Free-Range Kids)
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Top Customer Reviews
Adlerian psychology forms the basis of this parenting approach and the two key pieces as it relates to parenting that I try to hold on to on a daily basis are:
1. Never do for a child what they can do for themselves
2. As a parent, my role is to teach and train my children and to not pass judgement as they figure things out in their own unique way.
Much easier said than done, but throughout the book Vicki explains (with a lot of wit) the psychological basis and, more importantly, practical strategies to enable these things to happen. It is these strategies-- from family meeting, to "road maps to success," to giving allowance, to problem boards, to rights and responsibilities -- that are the heart and soul of the approach. Some are easier to implement than others (I've found) and Vicki will say each needs to be adapted to the specific dynamic of the family. But it is clear how each one holds vast potential for the positive effect it can have on every family member.
I will continue to use and be thankful for Vicki's strategies as I raise my own family, and I will give this book as a gift to EVERY new parent I know.
Instead of pouring salt in the wound with a "How could you...?/Why didn't you...?" lecture, I was able to just listen and recognize the situation for what it is: an invaluable mistake that she will never forget. Like the book says, "Mistakes are arguably the easiest and most efficient way for kids to learn to cooperate, take personal responsibility, practice time management, develop organizational skills, become resilient, and develop the mental muscle that will come in handy as their lives become more challenging and difficult in the years to come."
I know she had her whole savings in that wallet. And I know she'll be a lot more careful with it next time without one word about it from me. Now, back to reading...