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The Dude's Guide to Marriage: Ten Skills Every Husband Must Develop to Love His Wife Well Paperback – November 3, 2015

4.4 out of 5 stars 50 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Darrin Patrick is the lead pastor of The Journey and the vice president of Acts 29, a global church-planting network. He also serves as the chaplain to the St. Louis Cardinals. Patrick is the author of The Dude’s Guide to Manhood and Church Planter and co-author of Replant and For the City. He and his family live in St. Louis, Missouri.



Amie Patrick is a teacher, writer and pastor¹s wife. Married to her high school sweetheart, Darrin, for 22 years, she is also the proud mom of 4 great kids. Amie holds a degree in music education, and is passionate about leadership, the arts, teaching women to practically apply the gospel to all areas of their lives, and helping pastors' and church planters¹ wives thrive in their calling.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson (November 3, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1400205492
  • ISBN-13: 978-1400205493
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (50 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #212,381 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Most men think they have marriage down by the time they get married then reality hits. Sometimes men are a little slow (knowing this because I am a man) at understanding what makes our wives tick. Sometimes, us men (I know this is probably not grammatically correct) need help in the area of marriage.

Darrin Patrick, along with his wife Amie, have written a book of married men called, The Dude's Guide to Marriage. In the book, Darrin and Amie open up their almost 20 years of marriage to teach men what they learned and how it can be applied to marriage. Each chapter has only a one word title which are the skills men need to, as the subtitle says, "develop his wife well." They are:

1. Listen

2. Talk

3. Fight

4. Grow

5. Provide

6. Rest

7. Serve

8. Submit

9. Pursue

10. Worship

Some of these could be a no-brainer for some men while others might be a shock to some. When Darrin and Amie write about fighting, they write how to have an argument well in your marriage relationship. Lets face it, in marriage you will have conflict because a husband and wife are two different people. In submit, you might think it is the wife's job to submit which is true as the husband is the spiritual leader of the house, but this one refers to Ephesians 5:21, which says "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

When I read the last chapter on worship, my presumptions were talking about worship the spouse but that is not what the authors write about. Darrin, who wrote the bulk of this chapter, says that men are the ones who need to lead their spouse in worship of the Almighty Father who gave them redemption in Christ.
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Format: Paperback
Picked this book up today and dug in. As a counselor of both pre-married and married couples, I often judge the merits of a book like this by the amount of highlighting I do as I read it. This one ranks high in that category. I couldn't agree more with Russel Moore's endorsement of "solidly biblical, gospel rich, and helpfully practical." I recommend that men, whether approaching marriage or already married, grab this book and get to it.
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Format: Paperback
My wife, Pam, and I have benefitted from Darrin and Amie Patrick's personal wisdom and example the past few years. Now it's captured in a book.Theirs is the most helpful kind: the gritty, earthy wisdom learned in the hard school of real experience. Their transparency is refreshing and their good-humored, blunt counsel is gold. Dude, if you're going to read one book on marriage, read this one.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I am the wife and I thought this book was spot on especially for those who are of the same Type A personality as the author. I also benefitted from the parts of the book his wife wrote. He finally listened to her which seems to be what started him on a healthy path which then led to him writing this book. It encouraged me that he heard her and humbled himself and now recommends counseling to any of us who find ourselves doing unhealthy things. I also loved the writing style. It kept my attention. I'll be re-reading it as well because it was that helpful. Hopefully my husband will agree.
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Format: Paperback
In matters of relationship, a teaspoonful of doing is worth more than a bushel- basket full of knowing.

We’ve all read Dobson and Chapman and Eggerichs until we’ve become so accountable before God with all our knowledge that we are clearly without excuse. So, while it’s become a tired cliché, it is no less true: love is an action verb. Darrin and Amie Patrick have given us a collection of ten more active verbs to get marriages moving in the right direction — more specifically, to get husbands (and future husbands) thinking about the skills that are needed in order to love a wife.

The Dude’s Guide to Marriage is bound to make the rounds here in the Morin compound — we have four beloved “dudes,” and one has already launched into marriage and a family. ** (You should be impressed that I have exercised restraint and not put a picture of the adorable grandboy here.) ** Marvin Olasky summarized the book well in his review for World Magazine: “Despite the silly title, [it] isn’t a silly book. The maxims it offers in 10 chapters with titles like ‘Listen,’ ‘Provide,’ ‘Serve,’ and ‘Pursue’ are sensible.”

Yes, sensible. With a light touch and a big brother’s wisdom, Darrin Patrick shares active wisdom while Amie chimes in with womanly advice (her words are italicized in the book). Their combined counsel is a call to the male of the species to get off the couch, to own some adult-level aspirations, and to stop living “beneath your masculinity.”

With tips as simple as “pick up after yourself” and as profound as “self worship gets boring,” The Dude’s Guide to Marriage has all the marks of a book that was written from the cauldron of everyday living.
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Format: Paperback
Of the writing of marriage books there is no end. One of the latest entries to this ever growing category is Dude’s Guide to Marriage by Darrin and Amie Patrick.

I came to this book with high expectations as I have a great deal of respect for Darrin Patrick and his work in the area of church planting. Unfortunately I find myself frustrated as this did not meet those expectations.

The greatest weakness to this book is that it seems to be more rooted in the author’s experience and what the author has gleaned from other marriage books. I find this a weakness in the book the places it below other marriage books such as Alistair Begg’s and Matt Chandler’s. It is only at the very end of the book where Ephesians 5 is addressed which is odd given how foundational the passage is for understanding marriage in light of the gospel. I think his appendix also shows a weakness of the church in regards to counseling, whereas the New Testament model is believers counseling and encourage one another in areas such as marriage whereas what is recommended is seeking “professional” counseling as opposed to biblical counseling. Which might explain why there doesn’t seem to be a clear prioritization of what the Scripture teaches in regards to marriage.

While the book wasn’t terrible it definitely won’t be one I recommend to other couples as there are other books out there that give the same practical advice while giving greater priority to the Bible.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson through the BookLook Bloggers program for providing this review. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html.
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