- Hardcover: 304 pages
- Publisher: William Morrow; Stated First Edition edition (January 26, 2000)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0688161162
- ISBN-13: 978-0688161163
- Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 1 x 9.2 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
- Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (197 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #455,978 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills For Turning Conflict Into Cooperation Hardcover – January 26, 2000
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From Publishers Weekly
A developmental psychology specialist and early childhood education expert, Bailey contends that the difficult but rewarding task of guiding children's behavior starts only when parents are able to discipline themselves and become models of self-control. By following the author's "7 Powers for Self-Control" (attention, love, acceptance, perception, intention, free will and unity), the parent will then be equipped to use the "7 Basic Discipline Skills" (including choices, encouragement and consequences). Bailey dismisses the familiar fear-inspired approach to discipline many grew up with (including threats and punishment), claiming that it inevitably leads children to make biologically driven choices and may even effect the brain due to the high levels of stress hormones released. Also rejecting the permissive parenting style now popular that favors "reasoning" (which, according to the author, imbues children with a victim mentality), Bailey instead promotes instilling an awareness of misbehavior through communication. Though some may be put off by the gimmicky overuse of slogans and buzz words, Bailey's underlying message is positive and hopeful, supported with humorous anecdotes and helpful solutions to even chronic discipline problems. (Feb.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Frustrated because your kid won't get in her car seat? Grumpy ever since your son decided that cleaning his room was optional? Ever feel bad after screaming at your kids for these and other things? Moans. Groans. Alas, parenting is no picnic. Bailey (There's Gotta Be a Better Way) acknowledges this and, in this insightful manual, suggests a disciplinary framework called "loving guidance." Loving guidance begins when parents learn seven "powers of self-control," which include acceptance and intention. Next, parents exercise seven basic discipline skills, such as empathy and maintaining composure. The goal is to teach kids the seven "values for living," including respect, compassion, and responsibility. Numerous, often funny lessons akin to those in Mark L. Brenner's When "No" Gets You Nowhere (Prima, 1997) help parents apply the concepts to daily life. Recommended for public libraries.
-Douglas C. Lord, Hartford P.L., CT
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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Top Customer Reviews
There is so much more in this book. This book will challenge you to be a better parent. The author while at times is painfully direct with why certain techniques (you probably are doing) are ineffective, she does share her own struggles with the standards--no one has unlimited patience or can be perfect, every time. But I have to say if you read this book with an open mind, there is great information that will most definitely improve your parenting strategies. I have seen it almost immediately in my home. Also, I can recommend her " I love you rituals" book, another book that can improve and give you small meaningful connections with your child. Overall, great author, great book. I am grateful for the exposure to her work and highly recommend it!
You may be familiar with the love and logic books. Those have some good ideas, but there's a narrow line between natural consequences and a consequence that really, to be honest, is more of a punishment invented by a frustrated parent. Becky Bailey does not cross that line. She stays on the side of helping you figure out how to best help your child in a loving and effective way. I have enormous respect for her, and would strongly recommend this book for you. When you apply what she says, you will become a better parent.