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Effective Marriage Counseling: The His Needs, Her Needs Guide to Helping Couples Hardcover – February 1, 2010
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From the Inside Flap
From Chapter 1
"I've written this book to explain how you can also save marriages by helping couples create and sustain their love for each other. Whether you are a student taking a course in marital therapy, a marital therapist, a clergyman who counsels troubled couples, or simply a concerned layman who knows a couple who is about to divorce, I want to show you how you can be just as successful as I've been."
Whether you're a seasoned counselor or just getting started, this incredible resource is your guide to greater success. Effective Marriage Counseling offers you an unprecedented look at the techniques that bestselling author Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., has been using for decades. This behavioral approach to marital counseling is your key to helping couples build strong relationships.|Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of many books, including His Needs, Her Needs, Love Busters, and Five Steps to Romantic Love. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem. Dr. Harley and his wife of forty-seven years, Joyce, have two children, who are also marriage counselors. They live in Minnesota.
From the Back Cover
Finally, the marriage counseling resource you've been waiting for!
For more than thirty years, Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., has been using a comprehensive marriage counseling program--through both his private counseling practice and his many books--that has helped millions of couples strengthen and save their marriages. Now his proven methods are available for the first time for students, counselors, pastors, and concerned laypeople in this remarkable new resource.
With Effective Marriage Counseling, Dr. Harley teaches you how to become the effective marriage coach that he's been for decades. Beginning with an introduction to his core concept, the Love Bank, and progressing through applications of that concept, this new resource offers a comprehensive overview of the tools and techniques that have brought Dr. Harley counseling success--and prepares you to achieve the same kind of success in your own counseling practice.
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I mention that only because it can be quite off-putting to be half way through a book only to learn the information contained is worthless without further study. That's not really the case here. A counselor could come away with usable advice that could be implemented into any current counseling program, but to fully integrate Dr. Harley's methods will take a more diligent approach by both the counselor and the couple being counseled.
The approach here revolves around creating new behaviors. Although Harley's is a somewhat unconventional approach, and at times his system has somewhat of a text-bookish feel to it, I believe most readers will also see the merit of the system and potential for a very high success rate.
After the plan is laid out, Dr. Harley also includes a case study of Amy and Jack and detail the exact treatment of their issues. I would have liked to have seen a few more case studies included, but the reader does get a good feel for the approach taken and can easily see the effective results. The program implements a variety of assorted worksheets which are available to download online.
For me personally, the majority of my counseling is pre-marital, but nonetheless, I certainly see the merit of this system and will be researching Harley's other books to further implement some of his program into my work.
His latest book, "Effective Marriage Counseling" seems to be a primer for counselors, an introduction to his very effective plan. However, I think counselors (and certainly couples) would fare better if they read his other books, "His Needs Her Needs" and "Love Busters," which give a far better picture of what is required to build a great marriage. His "Surviving An Affair" incorporates the basics of his plan, while specifically addressing the heartbreak of infidelity as well.
The major complaint I have with this latest book is that he has no advice for a counselor on how to MOTIVATE a reluctant partner, and we all know it takes both partners working together. I bought the book expecting that, and I was disappointed.
He also explains why his program is different from other programs. The goal of his program is to restore romantic love to the marriage. He has a step by step plan to achieve this. He doesn't just make this claim, he continually gives the couples surveys to measure their progress. He does not believe that a couple should have to come to counseling for long. If they do, that is an indication that the counseling is not effective.
This is a powerful book for any counselor who is truly interested in creating success stories. This program really does work and my husband and I can attest to that. I have devoured every book he has written and this is one of my favorites.