I recently watched some of the first season of Eight is Enough, on DVD. Of course I decided to look for more information, and when I did, I found that the show was based on a book; this book.
Overall, I was amazed at how accurately the show portrayed each of the 10 people it depicts. As I read the book, I was continually astonished that the voices in the book were the ones that I knew from the show. I think that's pretty amazing.
Tom Braden says, "I look back on those days and I am grateful to my children because they made me happy nevertheless and "nevertheless," I have airways thought, is the only way a human being ever knows what happiness is."
It became clear to me, as I read this, that the same travails we face today have always plagued people, though perhaps in slightly different forms: birth control, sex outside of marriage, gun control, long hair on boys, and the rising cost and presumed necessity of college for everyone.
I must say, though, Tom had a much tougher time parenting his 8 children than we have had with our 5, or than my parents had with the 6 of us. His children slept with people at young ages, stole his liquor, lied about car accidents. Oh, I know that parenting is hard. I know that we can't control children once they have grown to a certain point of autonomy. I do wonder though, why his kids seemed to rebel as strongly as they did. I find it surprising, given that David and I do not hover over our children any more than he did. He says, "there is a time in the life of a man and a woman, between childhood and adulthood, between desire and the ability to cope with it, between wanting something and deciding to earn it, when the human being, physically grown and emotionally childish, is a very dangerous animal. ...This truth that the animals will change into human beings again. ...It happens almost literally overnight."
He found it necessary to eventually withhold money from his children, in an attempt to encourage their maturity. Sigh. Those first few steps into adulthood are always difficult.
He expressed an understanding that life steals the joy of some people. He understood that standardized testing wasn't a fair way to evaluate a person's future abilities (and it still isn't.)
Toward the end of his book Tom said, "my heart had suddenly swollen with that fire of pride and affection, protectiveness and hope which is, I now reflected, what makes a father go on being a father. What is a father for?"
This book made me realize that I've read many books about parenthood but most...or quite possibly all of them have been from a mom's point of view. I think it is important to hear from dads about parenting. I know my 5 siblings and I feel that our dad was and is more involved than most dads. I am sending him a copy of this book.
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