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Elves [VHS]

3.4 out of 5 stars 9 customer reviews


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Editorial Reviews

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Product Details

  • Actors: Dan Haggerty, Julie Austin, Deanna Lund, Borah Silver, Mansell Rivers-Bland
  • Directors: Jeffrey Mandel
  • Writers: Jeffrey Mandel, Bruce A. Taylor, Mike Griffin
  • Producers: Dan Haggerty, Al Loberger, Dale Mitchell, Jerry Graham
  • Format: NTSC
  • Rated:
    PG-13
    Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • Studio: Futura Home Video
  • Run Time: 89 minutes
  • Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • ASIN: 6301497368
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #74,678 in Movies & TV (See Top 100 in Movies & TV)
  • Learn more about "Elves [VHS]" on IMDb

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: VHS Tape
The 5 star rating only applies for people who enjoy bad movies. It would be a 1 (actually more like a zero) if it was judged on it's merit as a serious film. Dan Hagarty plays an ex-cop who gets hired on as a department store Santa after the former Santa was killed by multiple stab wounds to the groin. It seems that a aged Nazi mad scientist has brought along a magically engineered creature with him to America where he has incestously produced a granddaughter to mate with this creature to give birth to the new master race. Dan chain smokes his way through his role and Deanna Lund makes an appearance as the wacko mother of the girl who is supposed to mate with the Elf. The ending will leave you asking the question "Huh?". Too bad MST3K didn't get a hold of this one.
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Format: VHS Tape
First let us start off by saying Merrrrry Christmas to all fellow lovers of B. Could there be a better time of year? Of course not! The NFL season is ramping up with the playoffs around the corner, the decorations are out, and the holiday B is in the air. It's only fitting with less than a week away a Christmas horror B would be viewed...oh did we mention it's called Elves? Yeah Elves, awesome. This is a film that clearly wasn't a mainstream success, or even a direct to video success as it is just flat out horrid. Even Pathmark refused to put it in their $3 bin. Yeah the same Pathmark that had a mint copy of Death Ring for sale! Now please don't misconstrue our labeling of "horrid" as we mean it as a compliment. For us horrid means fantastic. For anyone seeking a legitimate horror then run far from this screaming "he's gone, the evils gone from here!" But if it's hilarious B you seek, then please view away. The only issue is finding a copy as it is a rare flick. We luckily obtained one of the grainiest copies known to man kind, which is exactly how a film of this caliber should be watched. It will instantly transport you back to a time of strolling through the local video store horror section to find the most intriguing box art available. This one would easily have made the cut for us back in the early 90's.

Elves starts off with three teens sitting in the woods doing some anti-Christmas ritual. As they make their way back home it appears they've conjured up a nasty little elf. However this isn't a harmless elf like Sid, it's a very evil one. The film then takes an awkward shift to the local mall where the mall Santa gets murdered. Enter the incomparable Mike McGavin. Mike is a burly fellow with golden locks and stones of steel.
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Format: VHS Tape
After the local department store Santa is stabbed in the crotch...to death (!) by a Nazi elf ol' penniless Dan Haggerty takes the job but soon regrets his decision when he accidentally gets caught up with the girl who the elf is chasing.

Why is a Nazi elf chasing the girl? Well it's cause she's the only virgin in town whose grandfather is also her father (!) and if the elf bangs this girl at midnight on Christmas Eve then their child will be the Antichrist! Wow. I seemed to have overlooked that passage in The Bible.

Filmed on what looks to be $8,000 and directed with reckless abandon by Jeffrey Mandel - whose credits include CYBER-C.H.I.C. and FIREHEAD - ELVES still somehow kept me entertained and laughing (sometimes hard) for the entire 89 minutes. Watch it with a friend.
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Format: VHS Tape
Yet another humdinger of a movie from Dan Haggerty. He's basically the Babe Ruth of hittin' humdinger moveis out of the park. This is a great holiday chiller, a fine addition to your Christmas spookshow shelf. A true Humdinger, in the Haggerty tradition.
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Format: VHS Tape
I think Christ himself conceived of Elves, the cinematic attribute to faith in higher powers and the struggle for existence in a post-modern nameless world. It has all the merits and markings of divine intervention. Probably no human skull could hold the plotline, let alone just the main character's craftmanship and aptitude. Elves is a superior feat, showcasing the inherent will to persevere and the indomitable nature of the human spirit.
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