A lot of what is in this book has been proven unhelpful, to say the least. For example, PTSD treatment is more successful using mindfulness meditation techniques rather than talk therapy. Talk therapy creates a repeated recreation of the trauma, where the body does not differentiate between the real event and the recollection. Mindfulness does exactly what the author proposes as a solution: it removes the person from the reactionary brain, allows the emotions to sit without reaction, to simply exist in the body, and so on. The author drones on about medication and talk therapy and I could not agree less. As I said, this has already been debunked. So, very unhelpful .
The chapter on children was particularly disturbing to me and, in my mind, discredited the entire book. There are differences between timidity, shyness and introversion, yet the author uses the terms interchangeably AND infers that "introversion can be cured". Tell Susan Kane that. Sheesh! I could not really get past these inaccuracies and false judgments about introverts, but to me they were big red flags. I put the book aside, really considering what the author was trying to convey, but could not get past it. The chapter lacked expertise and detachment, to say the least. These judgments about introverts illustrate how little the author understands this subject at all.
Or as the author repeats in almost every paragraph "in short". (Who edited this to allow for that?)
The Managing with Heart chapter I also thought was too simplistic. There are other dynamics at play in the workplace, as there are in life. How many people have been dragged into meetings where people talk and talk just to hear their own voices, where things go off-topic, where nothing gets resolved, where everything gets "tabled" for the next unproductive meeting? A lot of times these alpha managers (male and female) know exactly what they are doing when the ridicule publicly. It has nothing to do with EI and a lot to do with ego. I suppose you could say that is a component of healthy EI, but the author never goes into ego or narcissism.
Anyway, these things bothered me - A LOT - and forced me to take a break from the book. The author just lost so much credibility with me. I had heard so many references to this book that I was actually excited to read it. I am sorry to say just how disappointing and frustrating the experience has been.
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In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.
Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
4,955 Kindle readers highlighted this
I would argue that the difference quite often lies in the abilities called here emotional intelligence, which include self-control, zeal and persistence, and the ability to motivate oneself.
Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
4,871 Kindle readers highlighted this
My concern is with a key set of these "other characteristics," emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope.
Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
4,691 Kindle readers highlighted this
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In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.Daniel GolemanEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ4,955 Kindle readers highlighted thisIn a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.Daniel GolemanEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ4,955 Kindle readers highlighted this
-
I would argue that the difference quite often lies in the abilities called here emotional intelligence, which include self-control, zeal and persistence, and the ability to motivate oneself.Daniel GolemanEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ4,871 Kindle readers highlighted thisI would argue that the difference quite often lies in the abilities called here emotional intelligence, which include self-control, zeal and persistence, and the ability to motivate oneself.Daniel GolemanEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ4,871 Kindle readers highlighted this
-
My concern is with a key set of these "other characteristics," emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope.Daniel GolemanEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ4,691 Kindle readers highlighted thisMy concern is with a key set of these "other characteristics," emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope.Daniel GolemanEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ4,691 Kindle readers highlighted this
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“A thoughtfully written, persuasive account explaining emotional intelligence and why it can be crucial to your career.”—USA Today
“Good news to the employee looking for advancement [and] a wake-up call to organizations and corporations.”—The Christian Science Monitor
“Anyone interested in leadership . . . should get a copy of this book. In fact, I recommend it to all readers anywhere who want to see their organizations in the phone book in the year 2001.”—Warren Bennis, The New York Times Book Review
“Good news to the employee looking for advancement [and] a wake-up call to organizations and corporations.”—The Christian Science Monitor
“Anyone interested in leadership . . . should get a copy of this book. In fact, I recommend it to all readers anywhere who want to see their organizations in the phone book in the year 2001.”—Warren Bennis, The New York Times Book Review
From the Back Cover
Everyone knows that high IQ is no guarantee of success, happiness, or virtue, but until "Emotional Intelligence, we could only guess why. Daniel Goleman's brilliant report from the frontiers of psychology and neuroscience offers startling new insight into our "two minds"--the rational and the emotional--and how they together shape our destiny.
Through vivid examples, Goleman delineates the five crucial skills of emotional intelligence, and shows how they determine our success in relationships, work, and even our physical well-being. What emerges is an entirely new way to talk about being smart.
The best news is that "emotional literacy" is not fixed early in life. Every parent, every teacher, every business leader, and everyone interested in a more civil society, has a stake in this compelling vision of human possibility.
Through vivid examples, Goleman delineates the five crucial skills of emotional intelligence, and shows how they determine our success in relationships, work, and even our physical well-being. What emerges is an entirely new way to talk about being smart.
The best news is that "emotional literacy" is not fixed early in life. Every parent, every teacher, every business leader, and everyone interested in a more civil society, has a stake in this compelling vision of human possibility.
About the Author
Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., is also the co-author of Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain and Body, and Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence. Dr. Goleman received his Ph.D. from Harvard and reported on the brain and behavioral sciences for The New York Times for twelve years, where he was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. He was awarded the American Psychological Association's Lifetime Achievement Award and is currently a fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science His other books include Destructive Emotions, The Meditative Mind, The Creative Spirit, and Vital Lies, Simple Truths.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The New Yardstick
The rules for work are changing. We're being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other. This yardstick is increasingly applied in choosing who will be hired and who will not, who will be let go and who retained, who passed over and who promoted.
The new rules predict who is most likely to become a star performer and who is most prone to derailing. And, no matter what field we work in currently, they measure the traits that are crucial to our marketability for future jobs.
These rules have little to do with what we were told was important in school; academic abilities are largely irrelevant to this standard. The new measure takes for granted having enough intellectual ability and technical know-how to do our jobs; it focuses instead on personal qualities, such as initiative and empathy, adaptability and persuasiveness.
This is no passing fad, nor just the management nostrum of the moment. The data that argue for taking it seriously are based on studies of tens of thousands of working people, in callings of every kind. The research distills with unprecedented precision which qualities mark a star performer. And it demonstrates which human abilities make up the greater part of the ingredients for excellence at work—most especially for leadership.
If you work in a large organization, even now you are probably being evaluated in terms of these capabilities, though you may not know it. If you are applying for a job, you are likely to be scrutinized through this lens, though, again, no one will tell you so explicitly. Whatever your job, understanding how to cultivate these capabilities can be essential for success in your career.
If you are part of a management team, you need to consider whether your organization fosters these competencies or discourages them. To the degree your organizational climate nourishes these competencies, your organization will be more effective and productive. You will maximize your group's intelligence, the synergistic interaction of every person's best talents.
If you work for a small organization or for yourself, your ability to perform at peak depends to a very great extent on your having these abilities—though almost certainly you were never taught them in school. Even so, your career will depend, to a greater or lesser extent, on how well you have mastered these capacities.
In a time with no guarantees of job security, when the very concept of a "job" is rapidly being replaced by "portable skills," these are prime qualities that make and keep us employable. Talked about loosely for decades under a variety of names, from "character" and "personality" to "soft skills" and "competence," there is at last a more precise understanding of these human talents, and a new name for them: emotional intelligence.
A Different Way of Being Smart
"I had the lowest cumulative grade point average ever in my engineering school," the codirector of a consulting firm tells me. "But when I joined the army and went to officer candidate school, I was number one in my class—it was all about how you handle yourself, get along with people, work in teams, leadership. And that's what I find to be true in the world of work."
In other words, what matters is a different way of being smart. In my book Emotional Intelligence, my focus was primarily on education, though a short chapter dealt with implications for work and organizational life.
What caught me by utter surprise—and delighted me—was the flood of interest from the business community. Responding to a tidal wave of letters and faxes, e-mails and phone calls, requests to speak and consult, I found myself on a global odyssey, talking to thousands of people, from CEOs to secretaries, about what it means to bring emotional intelligence to work.
* * *
This search has taken me back to research I participated in while a graduate student, and then faculty member, at Harvard University. That research was part of an early challenge to the IQ mystique—the false but widely embraced notion that what matters for success is intellect alone. This work helped spawn what has now become a mini-industry that analyzes the actual competencies that make people successful in jobs and organizations of every kind, and the findings are astonishing: IQ takes second position to emotional intelligence in determining outstanding job performance.
Analyses done by dozens of different experts in close to five hundred corporations, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations worldwide have arrived independently at remarkably similar conclusions, and their findings are particularly compelling because they avoid the biases or limits inherent in the work of a single individual or group. Their conclusions all point to the paramount place of emotional intelligence in excellence on the job--in virtually any job.
Some Misconceptions
As I've toured the world talking and consulting with people in business, I've encountered certain widespread misunderstandings about emotional intelligence. Let me clear up some of the most common at the outset. First, emotional intelligence does not mean merely "being nice." At strategic moments it may demand not "being nice," but rather, for example, bluntly confronting someone with an uncomfortable but consequential truth they've been avoiding.
Second, emotional intelligence does not mean giving free rein to feelings—"letting it all hang out." Rather, it means managing feelings so that they are expressed appropriately and effectively, enabling people to work together smoothly toward their common goals.
Also, women are not "smarter" than men when it comes to emotional intelligence, nor are men superior to women. Each of us has a personal profile of strengths and weaknesses in these capacities. Some of us may be highly empathic but lack some abilities to handle our own distress; others may be quite aware of the subtlest shift in our own moods, yet be inept socially.
It is true that men and women as groups tend to have a shared, gender-specific profile of strong and weak points. An analysis of emotional intelligence in thousands of men and women found that women, on average, are more aware of their emotions, show more empathy, and are more adept interpersonally. Men, on the other hand, are more self-confident and optimistic, adapt more easily, and handle stress better.
In general, however, there are far more similarities than differences. Some men are as empathic as the most interpersonally sensitive women, while some women are every bit as able to withstand stress as the most emotionally resilient men. Indeed, on average, looking at the overall ratings for men and women, the strengths and weaknesses average out, so that in terms of total emotional intelligence, there are no sex differences.
Finally, our level of emotional intelligence is not fixed genetically, nor does it develop only in early childhood. Unlike IQ, which changes little after our teen years, emotional intelligence seems to be largely learned, and it continues to develop as we go through life and learn from our experiences—our competence in it can keep growing. In fact, studies that have tracked people's level of emotional intelligence through the years show that people get better and better in these capabilities as they grow more adept at handling their own emotions and impulses, at motivating themselves, and at honing their empathy and social adroitness. There is an old-fashioned word for this growth in emotional intelligence: maturity.
Why This Matters Now
At a California biotech start-up, the CEO proudly enumerated the features that made his organization state-of-the-art: No one, including him, had a fixed office; instead, everyone carried a small laptop—their mobile office—and was wired to everyone else. Job titles were irrelevant; employees worked in cross-functional teams and the place bubbled with creative energy. People routinely put in seventy- and eighty-hour work weeks.
"So what's the downside?" I asked him.
"There is no downside," he assured me.
And that was the fallacy. Once I was free to talk with staff members, I heard the truth: The hectic pace had people feeling burned out and robbed of their private lives. And though everyone could talk via computer to everyone else, people felt that no one was truly listening to them.
People desperately felt the need for connection, for empathy, for open communication.
In the new, stripped-down, every-job-counts business climate, these human realities will matter more than ever. Massive change is a constant; technical innovations, global competition, and the pressures of institutional investors are ever-escalating forces for flux.
Another reality makes emotional intelligence ever more crucial: As organizations shrink through waves of downsizing, those people who remain are more accountable—and more visible. Where earlier a midlevel employee might easily hide a hot temper or shyness, now competencies such as managing one's emotions, handling encounters well, teamwork, and leadership, show—and count--more than ever.
The globalization of the workforce puts a particular premium on emotional intelligence in wealthier countries. Higher wages in these countries, if they are to be maintained, will depend on a new kind of productivity. And structural fixes or technological advances alone are not enough: As at the California biotech firm, streamlining or other innovations often create new problems that cry out for even greater emotional intelligence.
As business changes, so do the traits needed to excel. Data tracking the talents of star performers over several decades reveal that two abilities that mattered relatively little for success in the 1970s have become crucially important in the 1990s: team building and adapting to change. And entirely new capabilities have begun to appear as traits of star performers, notably change catalyst and leveraging diversity. New challenges demand new talents.
A Coming Crisis: Rising IQ, Dropping EQ
Since 1918, when World War I brought the first mass use of IQ tests on American army recruits, the average IQ score in the United States has risen 24 points, and there has been a similar rise in developed countries around the world. The reasons include better nutrition, more children completing more schooling, computer games and puzzles that help children master spatial skills, and smaller family size (which generally correlates with higher IQ scores in children).
There is a dangerous paradox at work, however: As children grow ever smarter in IQ, their emotional intelligence is on the decline. Perhaps the most disturbing single piece of data comes from a massive survey of parents and teachers that shows the present generation of children to be more emotionally troubled than the last. On average, children are growing more lonely and depressed, more angry and unruly, more nervous and prone to worry, more impulsive and aggressive.
Two random samples of American children, age seven to sixteen, were evaluated by their parents and teachers—adults who knew them well. The first group was assessed in the mid-1970s, and a comparable group was surveyed in the late 1980s. Over that decade and a half there was a steady worsening of children's emotional intelligence. Although poorer children started out at a lower level on average, the rate of decline was the same across all economic groups—as steep in the wealthiest suburbs as in the poorest inner-city slum.
Dr. Thomas Achenbach, the University of Vermont psychologist who did these studies—and who has collaborated with colleagues on similar assessments in other nations—tells me that the decline in children's basic emotional competencies seems to be worldwide. The most telling signs of this are seen in rising rates among young people of problems such as despair, alienation, drug abuse, crime and violence, depression or eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, bullying, and dropping out of school.
What this portends for the workplace is quite troubling: growing deficiencies among workers in emotional intelligence, particularly among those newest to the job. Most of the children that Achenbach studied in the late 1980s will be in their twenties by the year 2000. The generation that is falling behind in emotional intelligence is entering the workforce today.
The rules for work are changing. We're being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other. This yardstick is increasingly applied in choosing who will be hired and who will not, who will be let go and who retained, who passed over and who promoted.
The new rules predict who is most likely to become a star performer and who is most prone to derailing. And, no matter what field we work in currently, they measure the traits that are crucial to our marketability for future jobs.
These rules have little to do with what we were told was important in school; academic abilities are largely irrelevant to this standard. The new measure takes for granted having enough intellectual ability and technical know-how to do our jobs; it focuses instead on personal qualities, such as initiative and empathy, adaptability and persuasiveness.
This is no passing fad, nor just the management nostrum of the moment. The data that argue for taking it seriously are based on studies of tens of thousands of working people, in callings of every kind. The research distills with unprecedented precision which qualities mark a star performer. And it demonstrates which human abilities make up the greater part of the ingredients for excellence at work—most especially for leadership.
If you work in a large organization, even now you are probably being evaluated in terms of these capabilities, though you may not know it. If you are applying for a job, you are likely to be scrutinized through this lens, though, again, no one will tell you so explicitly. Whatever your job, understanding how to cultivate these capabilities can be essential for success in your career.
If you are part of a management team, you need to consider whether your organization fosters these competencies or discourages them. To the degree your organizational climate nourishes these competencies, your organization will be more effective and productive. You will maximize your group's intelligence, the synergistic interaction of every person's best talents.
If you work for a small organization or for yourself, your ability to perform at peak depends to a very great extent on your having these abilities—though almost certainly you were never taught them in school. Even so, your career will depend, to a greater or lesser extent, on how well you have mastered these capacities.
In a time with no guarantees of job security, when the very concept of a "job" is rapidly being replaced by "portable skills," these are prime qualities that make and keep us employable. Talked about loosely for decades under a variety of names, from "character" and "personality" to "soft skills" and "competence," there is at last a more precise understanding of these human talents, and a new name for them: emotional intelligence.
A Different Way of Being Smart
"I had the lowest cumulative grade point average ever in my engineering school," the codirector of a consulting firm tells me. "But when I joined the army and went to officer candidate school, I was number one in my class—it was all about how you handle yourself, get along with people, work in teams, leadership. And that's what I find to be true in the world of work."
In other words, what matters is a different way of being smart. In my book Emotional Intelligence, my focus was primarily on education, though a short chapter dealt with implications for work and organizational life.
What caught me by utter surprise—and delighted me—was the flood of interest from the business community. Responding to a tidal wave of letters and faxes, e-mails and phone calls, requests to speak and consult, I found myself on a global odyssey, talking to thousands of people, from CEOs to secretaries, about what it means to bring emotional intelligence to work.
* * *
This search has taken me back to research I participated in while a graduate student, and then faculty member, at Harvard University. That research was part of an early challenge to the IQ mystique—the false but widely embraced notion that what matters for success is intellect alone. This work helped spawn what has now become a mini-industry that analyzes the actual competencies that make people successful in jobs and organizations of every kind, and the findings are astonishing: IQ takes second position to emotional intelligence in determining outstanding job performance.
Analyses done by dozens of different experts in close to five hundred corporations, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations worldwide have arrived independently at remarkably similar conclusions, and their findings are particularly compelling because they avoid the biases or limits inherent in the work of a single individual or group. Their conclusions all point to the paramount place of emotional intelligence in excellence on the job--in virtually any job.
Some Misconceptions
As I've toured the world talking and consulting with people in business, I've encountered certain widespread misunderstandings about emotional intelligence. Let me clear up some of the most common at the outset. First, emotional intelligence does not mean merely "being nice." At strategic moments it may demand not "being nice," but rather, for example, bluntly confronting someone with an uncomfortable but consequential truth they've been avoiding.
Second, emotional intelligence does not mean giving free rein to feelings—"letting it all hang out." Rather, it means managing feelings so that they are expressed appropriately and effectively, enabling people to work together smoothly toward their common goals.
Also, women are not "smarter" than men when it comes to emotional intelligence, nor are men superior to women. Each of us has a personal profile of strengths and weaknesses in these capacities. Some of us may be highly empathic but lack some abilities to handle our own distress; others may be quite aware of the subtlest shift in our own moods, yet be inept socially.
It is true that men and women as groups tend to have a shared, gender-specific profile of strong and weak points. An analysis of emotional intelligence in thousands of men and women found that women, on average, are more aware of their emotions, show more empathy, and are more adept interpersonally. Men, on the other hand, are more self-confident and optimistic, adapt more easily, and handle stress better.
In general, however, there are far more similarities than differences. Some men are as empathic as the most interpersonally sensitive women, while some women are every bit as able to withstand stress as the most emotionally resilient men. Indeed, on average, looking at the overall ratings for men and women, the strengths and weaknesses average out, so that in terms of total emotional intelligence, there are no sex differences.
Finally, our level of emotional intelligence is not fixed genetically, nor does it develop only in early childhood. Unlike IQ, which changes little after our teen years, emotional intelligence seems to be largely learned, and it continues to develop as we go through life and learn from our experiences—our competence in it can keep growing. In fact, studies that have tracked people's level of emotional intelligence through the years show that people get better and better in these capabilities as they grow more adept at handling their own emotions and impulses, at motivating themselves, and at honing their empathy and social adroitness. There is an old-fashioned word for this growth in emotional intelligence: maturity.
Why This Matters Now
At a California biotech start-up, the CEO proudly enumerated the features that made his organization state-of-the-art: No one, including him, had a fixed office; instead, everyone carried a small laptop—their mobile office—and was wired to everyone else. Job titles were irrelevant; employees worked in cross-functional teams and the place bubbled with creative energy. People routinely put in seventy- and eighty-hour work weeks.
"So what's the downside?" I asked him.
"There is no downside," he assured me.
And that was the fallacy. Once I was free to talk with staff members, I heard the truth: The hectic pace had people feeling burned out and robbed of their private lives. And though everyone could talk via computer to everyone else, people felt that no one was truly listening to them.
People desperately felt the need for connection, for empathy, for open communication.
In the new, stripped-down, every-job-counts business climate, these human realities will matter more than ever. Massive change is a constant; technical innovations, global competition, and the pressures of institutional investors are ever-escalating forces for flux.
Another reality makes emotional intelligence ever more crucial: As organizations shrink through waves of downsizing, those people who remain are more accountable—and more visible. Where earlier a midlevel employee might easily hide a hot temper or shyness, now competencies such as managing one's emotions, handling encounters well, teamwork, and leadership, show—and count--more than ever.
The globalization of the workforce puts a particular premium on emotional intelligence in wealthier countries. Higher wages in these countries, if they are to be maintained, will depend on a new kind of productivity. And structural fixes or technological advances alone are not enough: As at the California biotech firm, streamlining or other innovations often create new problems that cry out for even greater emotional intelligence.
As business changes, so do the traits needed to excel. Data tracking the talents of star performers over several decades reveal that two abilities that mattered relatively little for success in the 1970s have become crucially important in the 1990s: team building and adapting to change. And entirely new capabilities have begun to appear as traits of star performers, notably change catalyst and leveraging diversity. New challenges demand new talents.
A Coming Crisis: Rising IQ, Dropping EQ
Since 1918, when World War I brought the first mass use of IQ tests on American army recruits, the average IQ score in the United States has risen 24 points, and there has been a similar rise in developed countries around the world. The reasons include better nutrition, more children completing more schooling, computer games and puzzles that help children master spatial skills, and smaller family size (which generally correlates with higher IQ scores in children).
There is a dangerous paradox at work, however: As children grow ever smarter in IQ, their emotional intelligence is on the decline. Perhaps the most disturbing single piece of data comes from a massive survey of parents and teachers that shows the present generation of children to be more emotionally troubled than the last. On average, children are growing more lonely and depressed, more angry and unruly, more nervous and prone to worry, more impulsive and aggressive.
Two random samples of American children, age seven to sixteen, were evaluated by their parents and teachers—adults who knew them well. The first group was assessed in the mid-1970s, and a comparable group was surveyed in the late 1980s. Over that decade and a half there was a steady worsening of children's emotional intelligence. Although poorer children started out at a lower level on average, the rate of decline was the same across all economic groups—as steep in the wealthiest suburbs as in the poorest inner-city slum.
Dr. Thomas Achenbach, the University of Vermont psychologist who did these studies—and who has collaborated with colleagues on similar assessments in other nations—tells me that the decline in children's basic emotional competencies seems to be worldwide. The most telling signs of this are seen in rising rates among young people of problems such as despair, alienation, drug abuse, crime and violence, depression or eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, bullying, and dropping out of school.
What this portends for the workplace is quite troubling: growing deficiencies among workers in emotional intelligence, particularly among those newest to the job. Most of the children that Achenbach studied in the late 1980s will be in their twenties by the year 2000. The generation that is falling behind in emotional intelligence is entering the workforce today.
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Product details
- ASIN : 055338371X
- Publisher : Random House Publishing Group; 10th Anniversary edition (September 27, 2005)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 352 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9780553383713
- ISBN-13 : 978-0553383713
- Item Weight : 10.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.25 inches
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Reviewed in the United States on July 30, 2017
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Never told you how to improve one's skills, just made you informed or aware of this topic - read other reviews same complaint. Big miss in leaving that out.
240 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 3, 2019
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I regularly read about two books a week and this was on a recommended list from a company that summarizes books and shares them on audios. While I do enjoy some audio like this, I wanted to read this one.
Written in 1995, this book has a great deal of common sense in it.
It has 5 parts
1. The emotional brain
2. The nature of emotional intelligence
3. Emotional intelligence applied
4. Windows of opportunity and
5. Emotional literacy
At a time in our country and globally when courtesy and bullying seems to be front and center more than it should be, this is a thoughtful book that points out many issues facing all of us at some points in our life. It also offers some insights we all can use:
• What are emotions for
• When smart is dumb
• The roots of empathy
• Intimate enemies
• Mind and medicine
• Managing with heart
• The family crucible
• Schooling the emotions
This book does have some academic leanings and parts appeared to be dry. So, after reading the first 50 or so pages, I took a new track – I went to the index at the back of the book. In 9 pages of two columns, there are dozens of topics, ideas, issues and resources. I spent several more hours going back and forth, comparing ideas and simply thinking about what was written.
In my business world, I offer consulting services and this book has enhanced some of what I already was practicing and it provided me with some great new ways of looking at things.
Great book – highly recommended
If you find this review useful, please let Amazon and me know by clicking the helpful button below!
Written in 1995, this book has a great deal of common sense in it.
It has 5 parts
1. The emotional brain
2. The nature of emotional intelligence
3. Emotional intelligence applied
4. Windows of opportunity and
5. Emotional literacy
At a time in our country and globally when courtesy and bullying seems to be front and center more than it should be, this is a thoughtful book that points out many issues facing all of us at some points in our life. It also offers some insights we all can use:
• What are emotions for
• When smart is dumb
• The roots of empathy
• Intimate enemies
• Mind and medicine
• Managing with heart
• The family crucible
• Schooling the emotions
This book does have some academic leanings and parts appeared to be dry. So, after reading the first 50 or so pages, I took a new track – I went to the index at the back of the book. In 9 pages of two columns, there are dozens of topics, ideas, issues and resources. I spent several more hours going back and forth, comparing ideas and simply thinking about what was written.
In my business world, I offer consulting services and this book has enhanced some of what I already was practicing and it provided me with some great new ways of looking at things.
Great book – highly recommended
If you find this review useful, please let Amazon and me know by clicking the helpful button below!
72 people found this helpful
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2.0 out of 5 stars
The overall premise of the book is a good one - emotional intelligence and the ability to handle ...
Reviewed in the United States on October 16, 2017Verified Purchase
The overall premise of the book is a good one - emotional intelligence and the ability to handle our own emotions as well as recognize and interact with others' is an important skill in all aspects of life. But Goleman uses classic business book vignettes like parables which fool the reader into thinking there's some epiphany in the context of the pages, without any nuanced discussion of important and relevant examples that lie farther away from the extreme examples he includes. In multiple places, Goleman assumes an incredible amount of insight that isn't grounded in any science, repeatedly using words like "may" or "might" when the effect it to make hypothetical and unsubstantiated relationships appear true. The book also attempts to cover too many subjects to be coherent on any single one. Good central insight, poor execution.
120 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2017
This is a truly Groundbreaking book that helps us understand the importance of Emotional Intelligence in our lives. There are 3 Keys to Emotional Intelligence:
1. The ability to handle impulses
2. The ability to handle difficulties and setbacks
3. The ability to handle pressure and anxiety.
Overall Emotional Intelligence is our meta-level ability to handle emotions and use them to our advantage. I discuss in more detail in the video above.
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1. The ability to handle impulses
2. The ability to handle difficulties and setbacks
3. The ability to handle pressure and anxiety.
Overall Emotional Intelligence is our meta-level ability to handle emotions and use them to our advantage. I discuss in more detail in the video above.
203 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries
Cyclops
4.0 out of 5 stars
A Great Eye Opener But Not A Guide OR Self Help Book.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 18, 2018Verified Purchase
I found this book fascinating and a real help in understanding both my own character and that of others and how their backgrounds may have shaped their personalities over years of learning how to survive emotionally. In short, it has made me be less judgemental about people and their attitudes, reactions and the way they handle situations.
The only thing I would say is that though the book is an eye opener to why we are the way we are and that perhaps it's not our fault, (or anyone else's for that matter) it is only an eye opener and an introduction to the possibility of change through understanding and further research and does not really offer any practical advice that can be applied by ourselves to ourselves to help self improve and the only advice to help with others, mainly children, is from what we can glean from the anecdotal evidence from various studies, groups and experimental approaches tried by various schools, universities and programmes. There is no summing up of all the findings to create some kind of guide as to how to help your children, or indeed yourself, to be a more emotionally intelligent being.
The only thing I would say is that though the book is an eye opener to why we are the way we are and that perhaps it's not our fault, (or anyone else's for that matter) it is only an eye opener and an introduction to the possibility of change through understanding and further research and does not really offer any practical advice that can be applied by ourselves to ourselves to help self improve and the only advice to help with others, mainly children, is from what we can glean from the anecdotal evidence from various studies, groups and experimental approaches tried by various schools, universities and programmes. There is no summing up of all the findings to create some kind of guide as to how to help your children, or indeed yourself, to be a more emotionally intelligent being.
63 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
1.0 out of 5 stars
Pirated copys are not acceptable
Reviewed in India on March 31, 2018Verified Purchase
Pirated copys are not acceptable from the company like Amazon.
Verge shameful and very disastrous.
I ordered more than 5 books and 5 of them are pirated (copied from the orginal, Duplicate copy)
Verge shameful and very disastrous.
I ordered more than 5 books and 5 of them are pirated (copied from the orginal, Duplicate copy)
120 people found this helpful
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Samir Patel
5.0 out of 5 stars
Essential reading and a book to keep
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 18, 2017Verified Purchase
What an insight.
I only wish I had come across this book years ago.
Sometimes it gets to scientific, but for the most part it a good read ( not a book to enjoy). This book is a keeper. I will be adding to my permanent library. I will be reading this book over and over ( it that good).
It's given me a lot of insight into myself and why I am the way I am.
It shows how to understand how conflicts arise and how to reduce, disarm potential conflicts.
How to empathise and build a good self ethic.
I only wish I had come across this book years ago.
Sometimes it gets to scientific, but for the most part it a good read ( not a book to enjoy). This book is a keeper. I will be adding to my permanent library. I will be reading this book over and over ( it that good).
It's given me a lot of insight into myself and why I am the way I am.
It shows how to understand how conflicts arise and how to reduce, disarm potential conflicts.
How to empathise and build a good self ethic.
17 people found this helpful
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Danny Felgueiras
3.0 out of 5 stars
Interesting book.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 1, 2017Verified Purchase
Good book...
But beats way too much around the bush.
Thought it was an amazing book after reading the reviews.
Don't be mislead by my comments its a good book but definetely overrated.
But beats way too much around the bush.
Thought it was an amazing book after reading the reviews.
Don't be mislead by my comments its a good book but definetely overrated.
19 people found this helpful
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De Saint
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read, if you need to reassess your emotional self for better relationships.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 2, 2018Verified Purchase
Highly informative and addressed the issues emotions to the details.
I like the way the book lined nature (creation, humanity) with science. It attest to the truth already known. Love is the way! Understanding is key!
Advanced English grammar. Highly descriptive and provide answers for high temperaments and how to positively explain to yourself to avoid a misunderstanding leading to anger.
I recommend the book to those in search of answers to emotional excesses - anger, anxiety, emotional disconnect, inability to maintain friendships and relationships with opposite sex etc.
I like the way the book lined nature (creation, humanity) with science. It attest to the truth already known. Love is the way! Understanding is key!
Advanced English grammar. Highly descriptive and provide answers for high temperaments and how to positively explain to yourself to avoid a misunderstanding leading to anger.
I recommend the book to those in search of answers to emotional excesses - anger, anxiety, emotional disconnect, inability to maintain friendships and relationships with opposite sex etc.
7 people found this helpful
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