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Emotional Purity (Includes Study Questions): An Affair of the Heart Paperback – April 11, 2007
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About the Author
Heather Arnel Paulsen is committed to encouraging Christian singles to pursue emotional purity, and she enjoys mentoring and counseling young women. In 2003 she married her husband, John. The couple lives in Illinois with their two young children, whom Heather looks forward to homeschooling. Visit the author’s web site at www.emotionalpurity.blogspot.com.
Top Customer Reviews
This book's overarching message is to "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23). Guy-girl relationships (not even restricted to the explicitly romantic ones) can often lead to broken hearts because emotions go too far. Many books (see stuff by Josh Harris) focus on general purity in romantic relationships, but Heather shows that even good friends who aren't romantically involved must also be careful to remain pure. Without realizing it, friends can begin to spend more and more time with each other and become emotionally attached. Then, as Heather shows, the ensuing confusion about the goals of the relationship often leads to damaged hearts and severed friendships.
This said, I think it is a shame that this book's message is hindered by generally poor writing. The manuscript is rather clunky and includes occasional grammatical errors. In any other book, this would be cause for a significant deduction in the stars it receives from me, but in this case, the beautiful message that shines through the sometimes obscuring language makes up for it.
As I recall the power of this book's message to write this review, I find myself wanting to read it again. All teenagers and adults (even married ones) should allow this book to show them the importance of purity in all relationships. That means with co-workers, classmates, and friends, not just a significant other.Read more ›
as a friend of mine Claire Angus, who i let borrow this book says, "I would recommend very highly to EVERYONE." I second this saying. if you are a guy or a girl, and want to know about relationships with others, and how to keep the relationship the way God would want it, Read what God says through his instrument, Heather Paulsen.
Seeking Him First,
Campus Crusade for Christ student President at UMass Amherst
Another problem with legalistic teaching is, that is takes the responsibility of off the sinner and places it on the sin. For example, if a man sees a barely dressed woman at a bar and picks her up for a night of sin, its not the bar's fault, or the alcohol's fault, or the woman's fault for having hardly any clothes on. It is the man's fault. I am tired of hearing the line that women can defraud men with their dress, which the author uses in chapter four as a parallel to her idea of emotional defrauding. The fact that women should watch how they dress does not mean that the responsibility is not mine as far as lust.
Similarly, it is YOUR fault if you give another too much of your emotions and heart. That's your responsibility to set personal limits, and it doesn't require forbidding close relationships with the opposite gender.Read more ›
Heather's message is to guard one's heart, keeping it safe and tender for the earthly manifestation of God's love we are waiting for. Having been burned a few times before, I can wholeheartedly say that in the long run, it is indeed better to play it safe and give our hearts and emotions to God to protect.
I do find myself compelled to point out that some of the grammatical and typographical errors in the book are distracting and annoying - and they are errors any good editor should have seen and corrected. But this doesn't take away from the overall message of the book.
I recommend this book to any dating single, Christian or not. Some of the things Heather talks about are probably not applicable to all (she is over 28 and still lives at home with her parents, which is something I find rather worrisome). My father doesn't sit down with all of my dates or talk to the young men I go out with because I'm an adult and on my own! But still, it is possible to apply most of her message to one's life - women, in particular, should have a respected person to whom they are accountable and someone they trust.
I do think she brings up some questions that are then not answered - for instance, she does not recommend talking about one's hopes and dreams for the future. This is fine at first, at least as far as the house, picket fence, and 2.3 kids go, but I would hope that adults eventually discuss these things before making a commitment, lest they find themselves in a very surprising situation!
Perhaps she can write a sequel. I'm actually surprised she doesn't have a website - the book and its message are absolutely excellent and worthy of noting.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
We don't always consider what's covered well here. Quick read & worth it to reconsider reframing your thoughts toward a healthier approach toward singleness.Published 1 month ago by Jenna Krupp
Be very careful with what you take away from this book, and be concerned with what your children will take away from it if they read it. Read morePublished 3 months ago by M. Williams
Great Book that changed my life!! I Highly recommend it to everyone! !Published 6 months ago by Eunice
This hits straight home I found Myself struggling with emotional purity and am glad A friend recommended this book 😊Published 19 months ago by Hope
Someone recommended this book to me, and I took the time to go through it for their sake. In the end it was very hit or miss for me. Read morePublished 23 months ago by Trevor Stump
If you're truly wanting to understand the depths of emotional connection to the opposite sex & how quickly that can become a slippery slope with no accountability, then read this... Read morePublished on March 14, 2014 by Kristen Collie
The author has some interesting points. It has been a few years since I read it but I will say I find application of her advice difficult.Published on October 4, 2013 by Jennifer R. Gray
This book is an excellent primer on why it matters to preserve emotional intimacy for marriage. In addition to saving our bodies for our spouse, saving our hearts can keep them... Read morePublished on September 29, 2013 by Melissa Draper