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Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition (NTC Self-Help) Paperback – June 15, 2012
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About the Author
Albert J. Bernstein, Ph. D., is a clinical psychologist, speaker, columnist, and business consultant. Dr. Bernstein is also the author of Dinosaur Brains, Neanderthals at Work, and Sacred Bull.
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Top customer reviews
Which version should you buy? Buy the original version if you are just starting out in learning about personality disorders. The original version is written for the novice, and shows each personality type defined and described to perfection. Dr. Bernstein will give you tips at the end of each personality type for dealing with their tantrums, tirades, schemes, alternate states of reality, hypnosis, paranoid delusions, aloofness, passive-aggressive assaults, and eyebrow-raising verbal cues.
However, if you already have some experience diagnosing personality disorders and want a more in-depth look, then I encourage you to get the Second Edition. Here you will find a wealth of information on drama queens, bullies, control freaks, daredevils, used car salesmen (not the actual, but maybe also the actual), lovable rogues, gossip queens, the terminally depressed, narcissistic legends, tiger moms, puritans and perfectionists.
Whew! The list is long and tiring, but think about it, if you don't have this trusty book hidden underneath your mattress, how could you possibly navigate a world full of Emotional Vampires? And in the age of the Kardashians, Facebook, iphones, botox, Paris Hilton, and Narcissistic politicians in high office, there may be more of THEM than there are of US.
I also liked how Bernstein describes the many facets of anti-social personalities without belaboring the criminal aspect since many of these "types" never get into trouble with the law because they never get caught.
The problem: I already knew this!
And I suspect that readers looking at this book are also having trouble dealing with narcissists and need some guidance. Well, this book doesn't offer that. "Stay away from them" is as good as it gets. I'm mad that I spent money for advice less-helpful than what I found when I Googled "How to deal with a narcissist."
For readers who need help dealing with narcissists, I got the most insight from The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family, but I did not find ANY book that is a how-to for getting along with narcissists, because the only way to get along with them is to play their game and worship them. SIGH. If anyone finds anything helpful in that arena, please share the title with me. For now, I survived by just establishing the clear boundaries I learned from: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your Life (Inspirio/Zondervan Miniature Editions) and Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day
Audience: Two groups: 1. people who don't understand certain other people's behavior and 2. people who feel emotionally drained
Style: Fairly entertaining and a tad lurid for a self-help book. However it reinforces the point of how over-the-top bad EV's can be
One of the best books about dealing with people in the workplace and things like church groups or HOAs or social clubs that I've ever seen. If, like many people, you feel there is something off in the dynamic of some group of people you're part of - this book could literally save your sanity!